Fug File: go big or go home
I’ve always liked Myleene Klass. We did something with her years ago and she was incredibly cool, so I was always sad that her hosting opportunity in the U.S. — I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! — was on such a turd of a show.
Yeah, I’d say she rebounded from that just fine.
Is it wrong that part of me HOPES that skirt detaches into a cape?
Because otherwise, Leona Lewis is wearing a run-of-the-mill cocktail dress that makes her boobs look fake, is a cautionary tale about the crotch-skimming dangers of static cling, and has a Carrie Underwood complex. But if she could rip that thing off and swoosh it around her shoulders, Leona could at least have a really awesome afternoon storming dramatically in and out of rooms after saying things like, “I am not your PLAYTHING,” and, “Don’t PATRONIZE me, Blake,” and, “GET ME THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.” Because if you’re going to wear something ugly, you should at least make it something fun.
[Photo: Splash News]
Just when you think ALT cannot possibly top himself….
He goes and adds that hat.
Okay, I know I just lavished a bunch of praise on Katy Perry for going whimsical, but this one has me a lot more skeptical. There’s fun harmelss-unless-you-run-through-a-sprinkler light-up whimsy, and then there’s the kind of thing that could kill you or anyone else:
First, that reminds me of every Bed In A Bag on sale around the time I was going off to college. Second, it can’t be comfortable; Coco looks like she can’t even stand up straight, although if she topples over, it’ll make one hell of a safety net. (However, if in ten years she has to have back surgery, I know what the culprit will be.) Third, if she doesn’t trip on it, smart money is on SOMEONE trampling this train while she’s moving, and taking a header into Anna Wintour’s lap. Fourth, Coco will then have to post bail for that person when that person gets arrested. Fifth, I hope that person is Chloe Sevigny, because that’s just funny. Sixth, the more I look at this, the more I want to take a nap. Seventh, I’m sure it detaches, so that when she goes inside, she’s not dragging that thing behind her like a giant tie-dyed body bag. Eighth, YIKES, I only just now noticed the streamers dancing blithely around her arms. Ninth, is Coco thus suggesting that the American woman ought to shove a maypole up her identity? Tenth, surely the only reason one wears this knd of thing is to get on the blogs, so I guess in this case, it’s an unqualified success regardless of whether it’s fug, fab, or something in between.