Fug File: Glee

SAG Awards Better Played, Jayma Mays

I was a bit concerned about Jayma Mays when we saw her at the Golden Globes. She just looked so much wee-er than usual. So it’s nice to see that she looks so lively (and voluminous of hair) here at the SAGs. This dress, I think, works much better on her frame than the other one did. Let’s take a closer gander at it, shall we?


SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Naya Rivera

Oh, Santana. At the Globes, you hoisted them front and center (and how).

And now at the SAGs, you’re shoving them off to the side? Mating them with your armpits? Trying to put softballs in a golf-ball-sized case? No. It’s too far in the other direction. (And it’s ruining my enjoyment of an otherwise really pretty gown, which I wish I could’ve seen on somebody for whose cup volume it was ideally designed.) Although I admire how you’re getting them to stay so pertly aloft. That is some quality tape. I wonder if I could use that to hang some of my pictures. Beats putting a nail hole in the wall.


SAG Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Dianna Agron

Dianna Agron is very pretty:

I wasn’t sure about her eye makeup in Sunday — I thought it perhaps made her look tired — but I’ve decided that I appreciate the drama of what she’s going for with the smoky thing here.

Shall we look at her dress?


SAG Awards Feh Carpet: Jane Lynch

Jane! I want to — I really, really do.

But the poofy bi-level Two Skirts In One doesn’t work for me unless you are about to rip off the longer layer to reveal coordinated Sue Sylvester track pants, to the tune of “You Can Leave Your Hat On,” followed by a medley of Tom Jones’ greatest hits. That’s probably not too much to ask, by the way. I’m just saying. Sue Sylvester singing “It’s Not Unusual” might make my year. Especially if Carlton from Fresh Prince guest-stars. It’s time to bring Alfonso Ribeira BACK, America.


SAG Awards Fug or Fab Carpet: Lea Michele

I’m very close to liking this dress on Lea Michele, because it’s such a welcome departure from her recent froofstravaganza. Something about the SAGs must make Lea really hot for her cleavage — perhaps she aches to prove that the awards show is an acronym only, not an adjective — because she busted out a low-cut stunner last year, and she’s gone in a similarly sternum-celebrating direction here. The one beef keeping me from crowning this with a Well Played tiara (which I really wish existed in real life) is how it makes her boobs look like they are eight miles apart. Not to be confused with 8 Mile. As far as I know, Eminem is only involved in one of those things. But I guess the year’s still young.

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SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Jenna Ushkowitz

Oh honey. I didn’t want to see this happen to you.

You can’t really tell from this picture — and I couldn’t find a good shot of it — but on camera, you could COMPLETELY see poor Jenna Ushkowitz’s navel in this dress. Which…listen. If we can see your belly button through your gown, it is too small, or poorly lined, or both, and someone fell down on the job. I do like Jenna’s jewelry, and I actually think the color of this dress is very pretty on her — it, magically, doesn’t wash her out — but…DUDE. BELLY BUTTON. THROUGH DRESS. NOT OKAY. FIRE SOMEONE. That’s what Lea Michele would do.

What did she wear the night before?


Golden Globes Feh or Fab Carpet: Jenna Ushkowitz

This picture cracks me up:

Something about Jenna’s movement makes her look like she’s about to say, “DARLING! WELCOME! WELCOME TO MY GLORIOUS FETE! PLEASE DO COME IN. JEAN-PIERRE WILL TAKE YOUR COATS.’ Which helps, because I think in any other pose, I think she’d look like she was saying, “I can’t believe I had to buy ANOTHER freaking bridemaid’s dress. No, I WON’T wear it again.”

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