Fug File: Glee

People’s Choice Awards Mostly Well Played: Lea Michele


What is going on with me lately? This seems like something I would be crabby about, right? It’s costumey, it’s a drizzle of tassles that have been cruelly denied their future of hanging from some graduate’s rearview mirror for five years too long, there is a crotch smile — overall, the kind of thing that’s so Marchesa, they could probably produce it while napping. And yet somehow I find myself liking it. It’s intricate in a way Marchesa actually did very well before Georgina started wrapping Leighton Meester in pornographic tulle and stuffing Boobs Legsly into sparkles and toilet paper. It’s sexy, with the tease of flesh underneath (it’s actually a liner, or most of it is, I think) but no risk of exposure. And it works on Lea — she shines in it.

The purple lipstick, well, not so much. Actually, let’s dive in and discuss it all, because why stop at 100 words when you can use a thousand?

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug and Fab the Gleeks


What I’m learning from doing this over the years: The networks should really send its invitees a sample swatch of the step-and-repeat. Getting dressed is hard enough without showing up and finding out that the backdrop makes you look like a 1970s living room set that they gave away on daytime Wheel of Fortune.

[Photos: WENN and Splash]

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Fug or Fab the Cover: Dianna Agron


I suppose I can’t quibble too much with how unlike herself Dianna looks, since the cover basically says this issue is an homage to the sixties.

It is still sort of strange to pick a cover subject and then render them unrecognizable to anyone taking a passing glance at the newsstand, but at least ’60s-Dianna looks like Twiggy, which would probably work to make most people do a double-take and then be like, “Oh, it’s the girl from Glee,” and then somehow during that person’s 20-minute internal monologue about whether any of the changes they make to Glee each season ever actually improve it, that person may find that he or she has — in a fugue state — purchased the issue (or shoplifted it, I suppose, but we don’t condone thievery unless it’s of our hearts, ahem, Pacey). The outfit too seems like an appropriately 2011 spin on the ’60s — which is to say, the ’60s by way of the ’80s and the Ice Capades. And finally, I have to give props to Nylon for “Makeup to wake up in,” because even though none of us are supposed to go to bed with full face on, I think we can all admit we’ve done that more than thrice, and possibly always. So at least they’re catering to what a girl really needs, which is almost always “six glasses of water and a coma,” rather than “ten minutes in front of the bathroom mirror taking a blurry swipe at her makeup with some Ponds.”

So in sum: I didn’t think I liked this at first, but now I’m wondering if it’s actually thematically effective. As a random cover? Crazy. As the cover of their I Love The ’60s issue? Maybe actually kind of okay.

And the only thing that could logically follow that kind of a milquetoast endorsement is a poll.

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Better Played, Lea Michele/RED ALERT, LEA MICHELE


Is that see-through, or just a very illusory flesh-toned dress liner? I suspect the latter, and so I offer Lea a hearty pat on the back — but not too hearty in case it pops anything erogenous out of its sheath — for classing up the joint and tamping down her tendency to go gynecological on us. As for the rest of what happened on the red carpet, well… I am ringing the alarm, Beyonce-style.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fuga Michfugle


Well, in the past Lea Michele has raised our concern with her tiny tiny skirts and her widening leg stance.

She appears to have sought an answer in formal shorts, to avoid any unseemly games of peekaboo with her privates. But you know what they say…

what? what do they say?

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Fug or Fab: Lea Michele


Somebody’s got some mischief afoot.

But first, I need to know: How long does it take to get all that navy eyeliner off at night? Because that stuff is RIGHT up in there on your lids, where for sure no cotton in MY house dares to scrub. Professional makeup: Not for the faint of heart. (Nor eye.) Now, let’s have a look at the rest of you. What are you hiding, minx? What’s your secret?

shhhhh

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