Fug File: fur

The Fugoice

Dear Cee-Lo Green,

I enjoy you.

But you need a new assistant, one skilled in keeping you apprised of what day it is. I know you’ve been locked in a cage match with Xtina on a soundstage somewhere — or something — but IT’S JUNE. You can not be running around in a fur-lined coat, because you will give yourself heat prostration and fall over dead and can you imagine what they’ll have to do on The Voice just to deal with that? Carson Daly won’t be able to deal. Hasn’t he already gone through enough in his career? The man was engaged to Tara Reid.

[Photo: Splash]


Guess fug?

This one, I AM going to make you guess.

Let’s look at the evidence: Clearly the lady does not have an allergy to melodrama, and she also suffers from Winter Torso Syndrome, wherein her body must be cloaked in fur and yet her arms are completely at ease in the terrifying summer elements. Seriously, the last time this was practical, Wilma Flintstone was making dinosaur steaks for dinner — and yet, I feel like this outfit — NAY, this very pose — would be in a montage in Pretty Woman if they remade that today.

So, what fugger do you think this is? We will edit the post later to include the answer, but for now, watch, enjoy, and grab your wallets for the inevitable telethon for her terrible disease, which will be called At Our WTS End.

** SIGH, since I never click on the photos, I had no idea that you can do that and it tells you who it is. So, surprised busted. It is Nicole Scherzinger, walking around like she is J.Lo. Although I liked the Rosario Dawson guess, but fortunately (for her), Rosario Dawson does not seem this insane.

[Photo: Splash News]


Fug or Festive: Jane Seymour

Let’s just get this out of the way: I have no idea whether or not this fur is real, but let’s assume for the sake of curtailing vitriol that Jane here is wearing simulated animal pelt.

Jane Seymour

Do we think owning — and then finding occasion to wear — a knee-length SLEEVELESS red fur coat (really, just a mammoth vest that’s been sliced open) is gloriously decadent, in an Alexis Colby Eats Caviar For Breakfast In Bed On Her Satin Sheets way, or a little insane and impractical in an Alexis Colby Chooses To Wear A Deeply Subtle And Not-At-All Spottable Red Plaid Outfit And Matching Tam O’Shanter While Executing Her Plot To Maybe Kill Or Maim Her Archrival By Firing A Rifle In The Air To Spook Her Horse way?

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[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]


Fug or Fab: Kylie Minogue

I didn’t watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, but if I had — and Kylie had been mic’ed — I suspect I would have heard her crying, “GREETINGS AMERICANS! I AM WORKING A TURBAN!”

I’m not going to argue with that, but I am going to open the floor to a discussion about that coat. I both kind of like it AND feel like it looks like it was constructed out of the remnants of a very fancy bathmat. That being said, the heater in my apartment has stopped working — and I’m moving in three weeks, so I decided I didn’t care enough to deal with it and thus am working in a coat with the oven on, and may eventually move to working from INSIDE the oven — so it’s possible that my brain has frozen into a place where it makes sense to wear a bathmat.


Drunkfug McCord

This isn’t as drunky as AnnaLynne’s usual drunkface, but I suspect my own drunkface looks like this sometimes — glassy eyes, stiff smile, slightly manic aura of being afraid I’m about to tip over in my heels and break vital bones.
Maybe that’s why she picked the plush arm cuffs: They’re really just high-fashion wrist guards. Although I prefer to think of them as furry hand turbans. They’ve turned her mitts into Alexis Carrington Colby. And I’m not sure if there’s anything wrong with that.


Fugbrey O’Day

It’s like Aubrey O’Day woke from a coma this morning with a gasp and thought, “holy crap. It’s nearly Thanksgiving. If I don’t get out there, I am going to be TOTALLY out of the running for Fug Madness this year!”

Welcome back, Aub. Don’t worry. A fur skirt makes up a LOT of ground.