Fug File: fur

Fifty Shades of Fug: Rita Ora in Roberto Cavalli


Rita wore this to an event called The Glamour of Italian Fashion.

But honey, there is nothing glamourous about what that Italian fashion is doing to your boobs — not to mention that the whole vibe is Roadkill The Limo Plowed Over On The Way There.

[Photo: Getty]

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Super Bowl: Namathly Played, Joe Namath


PHIL: Listen, ref, can’t you do something?

TERRY McAULAY: What would you have me do, exactly?

PHIL: You’ve got the flag in your belt. Throw it. Throw some laundry on this play.

JOE: What are you talking about?

TERRY: Sorry, Phil. I just don’t see a foul here.

PHIL: Aw, come on! Neutral zone infraction? If he lined up near the ball that thing would fall across the line for sure.

TERRY: Nope.

PHIL: Unnecessary roughness? To the animal?

TERRY: That’s not for me to judge. It might be faux.

PHIL: I’M SO SURE.

JOE: You don’t know my life.

PHIL: Yes, I do. You’re Broadway Joe. You wear fur coats. You’ve even probably worn this one before.

JOE: Well, then, it’s vintage. BAM.

PHIL: Unsportsmanlike conduct, then?

TERRY: In what way?

PHIL: In the sense that nobody will even notice me standing here if he’s wearing that thing.

TERRY: Phil, I’m sorry. The rules specifically state that any Super Bowl held in the state of New Jersey can and should be treated as if it’s being played on the ice planet Hoth, regardless of the game time temperature. Hell, Jimmy Johnson was walking around with actual tauntaun guts packed inside his coat and you didn’t say anything.

PHIL: Well, I’m not with Jimmy. Listen, Terry. Don’t make me sic Greg Gumbel on you. He looks cuddly but he’ll floss your teeth with your jugular as soon as look at you.

TERRY: Sigh. Yeah, I definitely don’t want to run afoul of the Gumbel Machine.

JOE: This is boring. I’m going to find the Red Hot Chili Peppers. May the furs be with you, always. MIC DROP.

PHIL: …

TERRY: Disgraceful. Let’s call that an illegal hit. Fifteen yards and fifty grand.

PHIL: I knew you’d see things my way.

[Photo: Getty]

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There Are No More Fugging Wordplays For Her Anymore


“THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR ALL OF THE WORLD.”

“I DID NOT AUTHORIZE THAT COAT. SHE DID NOT CHECK WITH ME FIRST, WHICH IS THE WORST, ‘CAUSE NOW I’LL GET CURSED BECAUSE SHE DOVE INTO A SKUNK HEADFIRST. ALTHOUGH PEPYE LE PEW HAS A NICE RING TO IT SO MAYBE THIS IS THE BABYE TRYING TO SEND US A MESSAGE. I WISH I SPOKE EMBRYE.”

[PHOTO: INF DAILY]

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The Fug of Glory


Just in case you were wondering…

… Lady Gaga is now dressing like an ottoman in Paris Hilton’s walk-in closet.

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Yasmin Le Fug


I like to think that — much as in Bridget Jones’s Diary, where she shows up as the only tart at what she thought was a Tarts and Vicars party (I love you, English fancy dress customs) — Yasmin Le Bon here showed up at the Serpentine Party and said, “damn it, no one told me we weren’t all dressing like Rachel Zoe Circa Summer 2006 anymore! YOU’RE ALL DEAD TO ME!”

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The Fugoice


Dear Cee-Lo Green,

I enjoy you.

But you need a new assistant, one skilled in keeping you apprised of what day it is. I know you’ve been locked in a cage match with Xtina on a soundstage somewhere — or something — but IT’S JUNE. You can not be running around in a fur-lined coat, because you will give yourself heat prostration and fall over dead and can you imagine what they’ll have to do on The Voice just to deal with that? Carson Daly won’t be able to deal. Hasn’t he already gone through enough in his career? The man was engaged to Tara Reid.

[Photo: Splash]

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