Fug File: Fug Madness 2013

Fug Madness 2013: One Fugging Winner, One Fugging Moment

It feels like just yesterday we were contemplating the merits of Nipples vs. Nethers in the play-in game. Or whether Zosia Mamet’s grouchy hipster fug was worse than Chloe Sevigny’s more smiley variety; which nearly nude model, Jessica White or Heidi Klum, was the bigger fashion disaster; whether Lena Dunham’s wardrobe was more depressing than Lindsay Lohan’s; and whether K.Stew or Ke$ha committed the bigger crimes against themselves. It was a¬†particularly grueling spate of match-ups — even the ones that didn’t end up close in the votes somehow still felt like impossible choices.

By yesterday’s final it had come down to Kim Kardashian, the grasping fame-obsessed climber who got herself to A-list name recognition even as she clung to D-list tastes, versus Justin Bieber, the bieberly bieb who biebed himself into bieberly bieberdom.

Whom did you choose? Was this the second time the aura of Kanye West propelled his ladyfriend to a Fug Madness crown, or did a teen twerp’s pantalunacy make him Fug Madness’s first male champion?

whose fug reigned supreme?


Fug Madness 2013: THE FINAL GAME



Are you ready to cast your final vote in this year’s Fug Madness? Will it be for Justin Bieber — the first man to ever advance to the final game, having defeated the otherwise unstoppable Rihanna, and the seemingly unbeatable Lindsay Lohan, not to mention Lady Gaga, who actually emerged from an inflatable vagina this year and STILL lost? Or will you use your civil might to advance, at last, Kim Kardashian, who took down Kristen Stewart’s Cavalcade of Sheer before destroying her brother’s ex, Rita Ora, who (never forget) once wore a florescent pelvic harness.

I suspect both of these people spend more time thinking about Kanye than they’d like to admit.

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Fug Madness 2013, Final Four, Game Two: Bjork Bracket vs Charo Bracket


Remember, it’s not about the good things they wore. It’s not about whether they’re performing or not (in part because these two don’t dress that differently between sidewalk and stage, but also: We declared stage outfits eligible, so eligible they are). It’s JUST about which one you think committed worse crimes against themselves, and thus, us. Or, to put it another way, it’s about perusing the slideshow and their archives (Rihanna, Bieber) to find the answer to our favorite Fug Madness question:

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Fug Madness 2013, The Final Four: Cher vs. Madonna Brackets

In which a woman who dated Rob Kardashian takes on the sister of Rob Kardashian. How is it possible that this entire match hinges on Rob freaking Kardashian?

Archives: Rita Ora, Kim Kardashian

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Fug Madness 2013, Elite Eight: Madonna Bracket


A clash of two transparency titans. Kanye clearly wishes we’d keep him out of it. Sorry, sir. Should’ve thought of that. RECONSIDER.

Archives: Kristen Stewart, Kim Kardashian


Fug Madness 2013, Elite Eight: Bjork Bracket


This matchup is like two wrecked-but-moving trains careening toward each other. I’m almost surprised it hasn’t happened in real life yet — both in terms of each of them being totally incompetent and stupid behind the wheel of a car, and on a dating level. Can you IMAGINE. I just went blind and yet I see.

Archives: Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan