Fug File: formal shorts

Teen Choice Awards Fug Carpet: Chloe Grace Moretz

This is an entire outfit from the Valentino Resort show, except for the shoes – and I think we can ALL agree that it’s a blessing she picked the Stuart Weitzmans, even if we’re sick of that style.

Chloe Grace Moretz in Valentino, Teen Choice Awards

The rest of it is a whole lot of pretty fabric, reconceived as a whole lot of Sassy Matador Groupie Who Hangs Out At A Dive Called The Bull Horns Drinking Dos Equis And Starting Fights With People Who Just Don’t Get It. Seriously, whatever the bullfighting equivalent of drag racing is, she’s the one out there waving the flag, waiting for the plucky winner to claim her heart.

[Photo: Splash]


Fug Wolf: Holland Roden in Paper London

Well, it starts well, and it finishes fine.

But then somewhere in the middle, those hideous formal shorts give her a case of the Vagina Buttocks, and it all goes to hell.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]


Who Fugged ‘Em More: Elisabeth Moss vs. January Jones

The first news is that Elisabeth Moss has scrapped the blonde.

I actually miss it, although I suspect it’s because Peggy Olsen has not yet discovered peroxide. But maybe what’s holding her back here, for me, is the fact that her makeup seems to belong with a totally different outfit. As do her shorts, which are so nondescript and tiresome. She’s, like, jazz hands on the top and gym rat on the bottom. I wish I could’ve seen the blazer and bright shirt with a skinny pant, or stylized tuxedo trouser. But if she had her heart set on formal shorts, I think she needed more interesting shoes with them. You need to SELL those suckers. To put this in terms Peggy would appreciate, those shorts are baked beans. You need to trick people into thinking they’re a delicious idea.

January Jones also went with formal shorts:

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Fugsica Chastain

I forgot to post this last week (or whatever), but apparently Jessica wore this on Live With Kelly, and then out house-hunting in Manhattan.

To say those shorts are not super flattering is an understatement. It looks like she poked her legs through a duffel bag.

[Photo: INFdaily.com]


Oscars Fug or Fab Carpet, Plus Independent Spirit WTF Carpet: Michelle Williams PLUS Well Played Busy Philipps (phew)

I do love that Michelle Williams and Busy Philipps are best friends. It makes sense to me that Michelle is taking Busy with her to all these events. If you’re not seriously dating someone, why not bring your best friend to the Oscars with you? You know you’ll be able to roll your eyes at her during appropo moments and if you start crying in the car on the way home, she’ll just pat you on the arm and turn up the Kelly Clarkson and never speak of it again. It’s also a relief to see that Busy has bounced back from that crackpot hippie dress she wore to the SAGs and looks fantastic. But what of Michelle?

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Fug Time

First of all, we came perilously close to buttcheeks with this outfit:

Perilously Close to Buttcheeks is the name of my next novel.

Let’s look at the front:

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