“Hello, I’m Mama Shailene.”
“You just sit your tushie on down and relax and maybe bake up some kale chips while I find some peyote.”
I don’t even know if we’re removing fug, so much as trying to create more fab.
I can’t decide how I feel about the pattern, exactly, but I so appreciate that she wore one that I’m basically happy with it. But somehow the sleeve, though helpful for warmth, pushes it into Way Too Much territory for me. So I’d maybe kill that sucker and then replace the shoes that scream I GIVE UP with something more fun — like, how about a gray, even, or a gray-blue that plays off the subtler colors in the dress? Kat Dennings wore some kind of grey pump in one of her outfits, I think, so they’re certainly out there. Just SOMETHING to lighten up the mood down there. And since she’s petite, I almost might bring this above the knee. I don’t know. Help me, Fug Nation. Or do I not need help, because it should stay as-is? Do I need help for other reasons? I’m so tired. What day is it?
First Rooney Mara wore navy, and now Jennifer Aniston is wearing color too. MULTIPLE colors. IN A FLORAL PATTERN. In other news, Satan just put on some Uggs, and reached for the optimistic blanket Kathie Lee Gifford gave him for Christmas.
Here’s the whole can’t-win problem, though: Is this too twee? It’s CUTE, but the white underlay might be shoving it into “precious” territory. Does it belong at the Teen Choice Awards on one of the few actual teen attendees? Should this be in the Nickelodeon closet and not hers? Or should we all just be freaking relieved that she’s doing something NEW (for her) and that it’s neither naked nor desperate, and leave it at that? I’m tempted, Fug Nation. I’m tempted.
After coming to last year’s Met Ball as a hideous Versace throw-pillow, Sarah Jessica Parker had kind of a rough year for the fug. So perhaps getting to go full-on awesomely costumey this year will hit SJP’s reset button.
It’s not super elaborate, but the pattern is striking, the hit of turquoise is really pretty, and it’s flattering — it makes her look tall, which we all know that even in heels she is not. The twin cuffs might be a touch too much, but basically, I think this is a good example of her simply picking a really, really nice dress and looking really, really nice in it. There doesn’t always have to be a statement any louder than that.
Apparently Kim had a tough time finding a dress to wear because of how she’s pregnant, which… y’all, her uterine occupancy level is not a secret at this point. If the people creating gowns for her aren’t making proper allowances for the fact that pregnant ladies’ wombs have the audacity to keep growing throughout the entire gestation period, then they are jerks. But also, she switched into this one at the last minute and then her stylist made them add sleeves because of her arms, or something…? And so on the one side, Kim reportedly has Kanye all mad that she was messing with his friend Ricardo Tichi’s piece of art, and on the other, she has a new stylist who supposedly fat-shamed her pregnant ARMS to the point where they wallpapered them. I want to hug her. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, even temporarily, I am on Team Kim Kardashian and I want to take her out for lunch and be like, “All those jerkwads can suck it, MOST ESPECIALLY for not stopping you from wearing that hideous floral carpet in the first place. JUST STAY HOME and crack wise at the live feed like the rest of us. Way more fun.”
So, you know how we’re always saying, “Nice slinky dress, Kristen, but would it KILL YOU to wear a COLOR?”
I think she may be flipping us off here.