Fug File: feathers

Royal Fugs

I just really wish I could be present when people decide what they’re going to wear, sometimes:

I mean I, like most normal — okay, “normal” — people, often stand in front of my full-length mirror and say things to myself like, “does this sweater make my legs look short?” or “is this too much gold lame? Wait: IS THERE SUCH A THING?”  But I feel like Marcia Gay Harden here must have asked a variety of hilarious questions when trying this on, all of which I wish I could have weighed in upon, and which surely must have included: “Is it obvious that I am reusing this year’s Halloween costume? I don’t think anyone coming tonight was also at my Edgar Allen Poe party. Maybe if I just make sure not to use the word ‘nevermore’?” or “Are those BIRD EYEBALLS in my wristlets?” and “Do you think the Endora-From-Bewitched-Going-to-a-Witch-Funeral look is played out?” and “Do you think Elton John will be pissed that I stole this from him?” The answer to all of those questions, if you’re keeping score at home, is YES.

[Photo: Getty]


Selita EFugs

Dude, I get it:

We’re ALL excited for the new Muppets movie. It doesn’t mean you have to DRESS LIKE ONE.

[Photo: Getty]


Well Played, Camilla Belle

I was all set to put this particular look up for a vote, but then I ended up talking myself into loving it:

I think the bottom is a little weird — the beading is amazing, so the ruffles feel superfluous, and also kind of make the dress look hairy, which is not GENERALLY the way you want your dress to look, unless you’re going to a birthday party for Chewbacca — but on this whole I think this is, as Victoria Beckham would say, if we were friends, which we are in my head, MAJOR.


Well Played, Uma Thurman

Uma Thurman is one of those celebrities that you didn’t really realize you missed until she showed up somewhere (in this case, Cannes) looking AWESOME and then you were all, “oh, RIGHT. She can turn it on when she has to. I wish she’d make a good movie again.” It’s been a while, Ums — can I call you Ums? Seriously. Kill Bill, Vol 2 was 2004 — that’s the year we STARTED this blog.

Damn, now I feel old. Onto the slideshow.


The Fug Team

Because when you are in the midst of the world’s most long-expected break-up, what ELSE do you feel like doing other than moping at home, watching a Pretty Little Liars marathon? Listen, Biel, I know that when you’ve been on the sofa in sweats for eight hours and your bleary eyes finally focus on the TV screen and you see a pretty young thing wearing a giant feather in her ear as a prelude to running off and making out with her dreamy but age-inappropriate English teacher, it seems like maybe A FEATHER might solve all your problems, too. But what in fact it actually does is prompt several GFY readers to email us and say, “Dude, have you seen Jessica Biel? She’s decided she’s Aria from Pretty Little Liars! NICE TRY.”

On the other hand, though, if we’re talking about Your Feather, then we’re not talking about Your Break-Up and perhaps that is mission accomplished, eh? Maybe you’re wilier than I thought, Biel. GAME ON.

[Photo by: Splash]


Oscars Fab or Bored Carpet: Hilary Swank

So, I feel like this is OSTENSIBLY very PRETTY:

I mean, it is. It is pretty. Of course it is. But it also feels, to me, like it’s been done a hundred times before, like it’s the dress version of a teen girl on a nighttime soap falling in love with her teacher (hello, Pretty Little Liars [although I deeply love you], Make It or Break It [ditto], Life Unexpected [said plot twist is what made me quit you], Big Love [which is unwatchable this season but I'm sticking it out to the last even though every episode makes me want to punch Bill in the face and then go on a killing spree] and Gossip Girl [which at least did us the honor of sending the dude to jail for sleeping with Serena before he actually did it]). Like: I get why it works and I see why you’re doing it, but haven’t you got something BETTER for me?

What do you think?