Fug File: ew

What the Fug: “Lady” Victoria Hervey

Happy Halloween. Prepare to be terrified.

Lady Victoria Hervey

Oddly, though, as afraid as this made me that this divinely subtle blossom was about to bud in front of our eyes, the reality was not as spine-tingling.

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What The EVER-LIVING FUG: Rumer Willis

This is going to be SO embarrassing for Kensington Pubis — er, I mean, Palace…

… because Kate Middleton had just picked this out for her last day in Australia.

[Photo: Getty]


What the Fug: Maitland Ward

I know Maitland Ward from being on The Bold and The Beautiful a whopping 20 years ago, but she also apparently starred in Boy Meets World – which I never watched, because I chose my Savage, and it was Fred.  Many of you, however, will only know her as The High Priestess of Underboob And Chief Executive Crotchicer of No:

I feel like this is how another Exorcist sequel will start.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]


WTFug: Lily Allen

I feel like I just stumbled back in time and into someone’s misguided LSD-fueled seance:

I mean, if you told me she was two seconds away from twirling and then singing “I Got You, Babe,” to a tree, I’d believe you.

And if you’re wondering whether this is as naked if she’s not lifting her arms:

warning: it is


Casual Fuggerday: Paris Hilton

Somebody wants to get back in The Conversation.

Right now, Jaimie Alexander should be composing a thank-you note that reads, “Dear Paris: I didn’t think anything could make my naked dress seem less bad, but you really stepped up and achieved the impossible. You are the Albert Einstein of tacky. Love, Jaimie.”

Whatever is happening on her pelvic bone is weird — it LOOKS blurred, but these photo services don’t do that (and many of them prefer MORE salacious to LESS, anyway), so I’m guessing it’s the light bouncing strangely off whatever mesh is there, but it’s drawing a huge amount of attention to The Bernude-a Triangle and I wish it would stop.

But since we’re there: Let’s decide which view is more horrifying. This one, or the one from the side:

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Fugly Gaga

Lady Gaga has been back on the radar for, like, an hour, and I’m ALREADY OVER HER again.

And I was JUST thinking to myself how nice it is that she’d been doing some photos and whatnot looking more like her natural self. I was referring mostly to her FACE. I did not mean that I needed to see ALL OF HER NATURAL SELF. BEDAZZLED BODY CONDOMS ARE NOT CLOTHES.

It gets worse, and please know that this is probably not safe for work.

le sigh


Fuglor Momfug

For a while, when they were coming up, I would confuse Bridge to Terabithia‘s AnnaSophia Robb and Taylor Momsen. They look very, very similar to me. And so my theory on Josh Schwartz’s new Carrie Diaries pilot, in which Robb takes on the Carrie Bradshaw role, is that perhaps the part would’ve been Taylor Momsen’s to lose if she hadn’t, you know, gone all Taylor Momsen on us.

Although let’s be frank: This is actually better than everything she wore during her Fug Madness 2011 run.

Oh, Rapunzel. Go back to your tower. Am I the only one who’d LOVE to see her with a choppy bob, or  maybe a pixie?

But hey, the rest of her is not pervy or naked, at least, and somebody finally suggested to her that if she’s hell-bent (pun intended, thanks to her shirt) on using coal like it’s kohl, a lighter lip will suffice. However, we need to talk about the latest thing I’m afraid of with her. Specifically, that she will — like so many young, pretty, and heavily made-up starlets before her, start dating this fellow event attendee:

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