“Have I been in the back pages of Us Weekly lately?” Sarah Silverman wondered. “I don’t think so. Shit, dude. If I’m not out there mugging for the cameras, HOW WILL I KNOW I’M ALIVE?!?”
Fug File: ENOUGH ALREADY
Okay, dude. Enough is enough.
If I were any event organizer inviting Thomas Jane to my party, I would litter the floor with debris — splinters, thumbtacks — so as to teach the man the lesson that SHOES ARE FOR WHEN YOU ARE OUT IN THE WORLD.
Okay, look, Hiltons:
You have GOT to realize that it’s incredibly creepy when you persist in posing as though you are joined at the pelvis. ESPECIALLY when I think I can see 90 percent of Paris’s boob. I can’t believe you are making me say this out loud, but: Please stop rubbing your sister-groins all over each other. Think of the children.