Fug File: ENOUGH ALREADY

VMAs Fug Carpet: Amber Rose


It’s already been pointed out that Amber Rose appears to have been channeling Rose McGowan at the 1998 VMA.

Amber Rose In Strings at VMAs 2014

Seriously, “Amber Rose McGowan” feels like an answer on Wheel of Fortune that neither Pat Sajak nor Vanna White would fully understand. To be fair to Amber, McGowan’s was see-through in front — her thong was leopard, her nipples were not (does that make Wiz Khalifa the Marilyn Manson in this scenario?)(wow, suddenly I want to see that quadrangle out to dinner somewhere; I think Marilyn would be miserable). But RMG being more naked does not make Amber’s any less absurd. It’s like Princess Leia came out of Jabba’s lair and decided to empower herself through fashion.

It’s also not the first time Amber has worn strings (Kanye West may have singlehandedly guided her to her Fug Madness crown). I don’t even know if it’s the worst time Amber has worn strings. You BET I am going to make you vote on which is worse, the spandex jail or the cage of sparkle. But before I do that, I want you to contemplate two things: 1) Amber’s hubby Wiz wore a shirt with suicide hotline information on it, which is a nice idea and very important, and TOTALLY got overshadowed by his wife’s metal floss, so maybe he needs to learn to pick his moments better; 2) is it an ACTUAL crime against the universe if she and Kim Kardashian did not run into each other in the bathroom line? I think it is.

Which of Amber Rose's strings is worse?

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[Photo: AKM-GSI]

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What The Fug: Chrissy Teigen in I Can’t Even


Granny panties, a see-through skirt, and a poorly draped top that puts the “ow” in luau?

Chrissy Teigen (1)

Looks like someone has a raging case of the Kimyes. Beyonce was right to skip the wedding, they clearly don’t have a vaccine for this yet.

anyone want to see the back?

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What the Fug: Maitland Ward


I know Maitland Ward from being on The Bold and The Beautiful a whopping 20 years ago, but she also apparently starred in Boy Meets World – which I never watched, because I chose my Savage, and it was Fred.  Many of you, however, will only know her as The High Priestess of Underboob And Chief Executive Crotchicer of No:

I feel like this is how another Exorcist sequel will start.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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WTFug: Lily Allen


I feel like I just stumbled back in time and into someone’s misguided LSD-fueled seance:

I mean, if you told me she was two seconds away from twirling and then singing “I Got You, Babe,” to a tree, I’d believe you.

And if you’re wondering whether this is as naked if she’s not lifting her arms:

warning: it is

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Grammy Party Naked-Off: Lady Victoria Hervey vs. Joanna Krupa


Victoria (whom you may remember from the Globes, and if you didn’t, I’m very sorry that I just harshed your innocence) is a British socialite — basically who I imagine Paris Hilton would like to be, a.k.a., dubiously employed but unquestionably titled — and Joanna is a model who is also on one of the Real Housewives shows. Both of them would like you to look at them, it seems. Be careful what you wish for, ladies.

First up: Lady V.

For one bone-chilling moment, I thought that was Stacy Keibler, and I feel like Intern George may have gotten some e-mails this morning as well from well-meaning friends who wrote, “George, she’s OFF THE RAILS, pull her back on.” Fortunately, it’s not Stacy; just a supremely bronzed person wearing a slow-dying bubble bath.

And in the other corner, we have Ms. Krupa, in a knockoff of the dress that Jaimie Alexander may wish she’d never worn because it is forever linked with her name:

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Casual Fuggerday: Paris Hilton


Somebody wants to get back in The Conversation.

Right now, Jaimie Alexander should be composing a thank-you note that reads, “Dear Paris: I didn’t think anything could make my naked dress seem less bad, but you really stepped up and achieved the impossible. You are the Albert Einstein of tacky. Love, Jaimie.”

Whatever is happening on her pelvic bone is weird — it LOOKS blurred, but these photo services don’t do that (and many of them prefer MORE salacious to LESS, anyway), so I’m guessing it’s the light bouncing strangely off whatever mesh is there, but it’s drawing a huge amount of attention to The Bernude-a Triangle and I wish it would stop.

But since we’re there: Let’s decide which view is more horrifying. This one, or the one from the side:

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