Predictably Played: Kim Kardashian in Givenchy

I mean, it’s self-parody at this point, right?

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]


What the Fug: Kim Kardashian

She did this before she was pregnant, and in ripening she is the same as she ever was:

Pregnant Kim Kardashian Leaving A Medical Building

I think this outfit has finally provided an exception to the “Everyone looks hotter in sunglasses” rule. Also: Kim. KIM. ARE YOU NOT AT LEAST BORED?

[Photo: Getty]


Met Gala Naked WTFs: Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lopez

To quote myself on Twitter: If this affair was about “perceptions” of China in the western world, then what I’m getting is that everyone perceives China as super naked. Beyonce is in Givenchy, Kim Kardashian picked Roberto Cavalli, and Jennifer Lopez is in Versace — and EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM decided that “China: Through The Looking Glass” really meant “China: Whatever, Just Look At My Ass.”

[Photos: Getty]


WTF: Kris Jenner in Chanel at Couture Week

To those of you who will say, “Please stop featuring these people,” my response of choice for TODAY is: I cannot deprive Fug Nation of the chance to laugh at the unintended amusements of this person together. Because COME ON.

kris jenner see-through pants Chanel

I mean, congratulations on having those legs as a mom of six, but YOU ARE OFF YOUR TREE, YOU ABSURD PERSON. She looks like a caricature of Kim rolled in a crunchy Lagerfeldian coating and drizzled in delusion. It’s so unintentionally hilarious. What would one call the cartoon that is Kris, I wonder? I had a truly offensive Family Circle joke percolating that I won’t use, so right now I’m torn betweeen Barfield, For Jenner or For Worse, Goonsbury, or Obnoxtrot.

[Photo: Splash]


American Music Awards WTF ENOUGH ALREADY Tragical Carpet of Desperation: Bleona Qereti

Another music awards show, another outfit chiefly composed of mesh and an Ab Roller. Tell me this: Have you ever even heard of “singer” Bleona Qereti?

Bleona Qereti


and that is the Mildly Safe For Work version; this is not


What The Fug: Alessandra Ambrosio at amfAR Inspiration LA Gala

Between this and the annual Cannes event, what IS it about amfAR that makes people think, “Yes! FINALLY, a place where I can really air out my crevices”?

Alessandra Ambrosio

Of course, from the front, it’s mostly a Codpiece Gone Wild. I feel like I’m looking at an anaconda having lunch, but from above.

The back will not surprise you, but it may alarm:

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VMAs Fug Carpet: Amber Rose

It’s already been pointed out that Amber Rose appears to have been channeling Rose McGowan at the 1998 VMA.

Amber Rose In Strings at VMAs 2014

Seriously, “Amber Rose McGowan” feels like an answer on Wheel of Fortune that neither Pat Sajak nor Vanna White would fully understand. To be fair to Amber, McGowan’s was see-through in front — her thong was leopard, her nipples were not (does that make Wiz Khalifa the Marilyn Manson in this scenario?)(wow, suddenly I want to see that quadrangle out to dinner somewhere; I think Marilyn would be miserable). But RMG being more naked does not make Amber’s any less absurd. It’s like Princess Leia came out of Jabba’s lair and decided to empower herself through fashion.

It’s also not the first time Amber has worn strings (Kanye West may have singlehandedly guided her to her Fug Madness crown). I don’t even know if it’s the worst time Amber has worn strings. You BET I am going to make you vote on which is worse, the spandex jail or the cage of sparkle. But before I do that, I want you to contemplate two things: 1) Amber’s hubby Wiz wore a shirt with suicide hotline information on it, which is a nice idea and very important, and TOTALLY got overshadowed by his wife’s metal floss, so maybe he needs to learn to pick his moments better; 2) is it an ACTUAL crime against the universe if she and Kim Kardashian did not run into each other in the bathroom line? I think it is.

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[Photo: AKM-GSI]