Fug File: ENOUGH ALREADY

What the Fug: Maitland Ward


I know Maitland Ward from being on The Bold and The Beautiful a whopping 20 years ago, but she also apparently starred in Boy Meets World – which I never watched, because I chose my Savage, and it was Fred.  Many of you, however, will only know her as The High Priestess of Underboob And Chief Executive Crotchicer of No:

I feel like this is how another Exorcist sequel will start.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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WTFug: Lily Allen


I feel like I just stumbled back in time and into someone’s misguided LSD-fueled seance:

I mean, if you told me she was two seconds away from twirling and then singing “I Got You, Babe,” to a tree, I’d believe you.

And if you’re wondering whether this is as naked if she’s not lifting her arms:

warning: it is

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Grammy Party Naked-Off: Lady Victoria Hervey vs. Joanna Krupa


Victoria (whom you may remember from the Globes, and if you didn’t, I’m very sorry that I just harshed your innocence) is a British socialite — basically who I imagine Paris Hilton would like to be, a.k.a., dubiously employed but unquestionably titled — and Joanna is a model who is also on one of the Real Housewives shows. Both of them would like you to look at them, it seems. Be careful what you wish for, ladies.

First up: Lady V.

For one bone-chilling moment, I thought that was Stacy Keibler, and I feel like Intern George may have gotten some e-mails this morning as well from well-meaning friends who wrote, “George, she’s OFF THE RAILS, pull her back on.” Fortunately, it’s not Stacy; just a supremely bronzed person wearing a slow-dying bubble bath.

And in the other corner, we have Ms. Krupa, in a knockoff of the dress that Jaimie Alexander may wish she’d never worn because it is forever linked with her name:

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Casual Fuggerday: Paris Hilton


Somebody wants to get back in The Conversation.

Right now, Jaimie Alexander should be composing a thank-you note that reads, “Dear Paris: I didn’t think anything could make my naked dress seem less bad, but you really stepped up and achieved the impossible. You are the Albert Einstein of tacky. Love, Jaimie.”

Whatever is happening on her pelvic bone is weird — it LOOKS blurred, but these photo services don’t do that (and many of them prefer MORE salacious to LESS, anyway), so I’m guessing it’s the light bouncing strangely off whatever mesh is there, but it’s drawing a huge amount of attention to The Bernude-a Triangle and I wish it would stop.

But since we’re there: Let’s decide which view is more horrifying. This one, or the one from the side:

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What the Fug: Adrienne Bailon


Sweet holy hellfire.

Put down the varnish, kid. YOU’RE NOT A TABLE.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugly Gaga


Lady Gaga has been back on the radar for, like, an hour, and I’m ALREADY OVER HER again.

And I was JUST thinking to myself how nice it is that she’d been doing some photos and whatnot looking more like her natural self. I was referring mostly to her FACE. I did not mean that I needed to see ALL OF HER NATURAL SELF. BEDAZZLED BODY CONDOMS ARE NOT CLOTHES.

It gets worse, and please know that this is probably not safe for work.

le sigh

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