Fug File: CFDA

CFDA Mostly Well Played: Solange


Reach back to, say, the poncho cloud. Did you ever envision a time when Solange consistently would be more right than fright? And yet here we are.

[Photos: Getty]

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CFDA Awards Fug Carpet: Jessica Chastain


… aaaaaand, after a disarmingly triumphant Cannes run, we’re back to hinky business-as-usual.

She just looks like the guardian angel of Panty Raids. While I’m sure some fraternity yahoos are grateful for her protection, I think most of their collegiate prey are like, “Awesome, yes, please, take ALL my crappy old Second Skin Satin bras and sell them on eBay as ‘vintage.’  The beer money has to come from somewhere.”

[Photo: Getty]

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CFDA Awards Unfug It Up: Zoe Saldana


Zoe Saldana looks a lot better in this than she has a right to, given that she’s wearing more netting than a hockey goal.

But in general this is expending a whole lot of energy for not that grand an effect. It’s one part something I’ve seen a thousand times and don’t wish to revisit (the see-through skirt; ARE WE DONE YET, FASHION INDUSTRY?) and then it trots out pointless elbow windows in an effort to either surprise us, or make us paranoid about whether we’re moisturizing our joints enough and/or have to cut all the middles out of our shirt sleeves. What would you tweak, Fug Nation? Solid sleeves? Solid skirt? Scrap the full-length and make it a respectable cocktail frock, but keep the Wonder Woman cuffs? Sew a matching lasso of truth to her knickers? I wrote “knockers” first by accident, but I suppose that’s an option as well.

[Photo: Getty]

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CFDA Awards Olsen Carpet: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen


You guys, MARY-KATE WENT BRUNETTE MY GOD THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN WHAT DOES THIS PORTEND? Or, in other words: thanks for making it extra easy for us to tell the two of you apart when you’re wearing sunglasses, kid. Also, NICE CAFTAN, other one.

[Photos: Getty]

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CFDA Awards Fug Carpet: Chloe Sevigny


Oh, Sevigny.

I always wondered what would happen if Yvette from Clue had a baby with Lady Gaga, and they sent her to some obscure European boarding school where they awarded her prizes in sneering and snark and taught all the students how to wear weird shoes that look like denuded sleep masks attached to clogs and kind of pull them off. NOW WE KNOW.

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CFDA Fug or Fab Carpet: Kirsten Dunst


Heather and I were talking about this yesterday, and she said, “I don’ t know how to feel.” And I was like, “tell me about it”:

I feel jealous, because I can never find cigarette pants that fit me that well. (Not the fault of the World’s Pants Supply, I fear, as much as this is the fault of my legs.) I’m perplexed, because I feel like this might have worked beautifully with a different shirt. I’m thirsty, because I want to ask her to bring me a Sloe Gin Fizz from the hotel bar at which she works. I’m pleased, because I really like Kiki and I’m glad she’s back out on the scene. I’m jealous again because I like her nail polish and I can’t have a manicure without soon looking as though I stuck my fingers through a fax machine. In short:

Just tell me how to feel:

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