Fug File: bad shoes

Fug or Fab: Jessica Simpson


J Simp’s desperate need for a real stylist to help her out is depressing me too much to write this as a proper fug. I just couldn’t do it. She…could look worse, right?

Except in half the pictures she’s doing this weird ass pose:

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Golden Globes Red Carpet Fug/Art Gala Fug


One of the perks of having it rain buckets on Globes Day is that we got so many pictures of celebrity dudes holding umbrellas for celebrity ladies:

Obviously, nothing will top the charm of this photo, but Stephen Moyer does look like he’s amused by this turn of events. I have to say, the rain was almost a PR blessing in a weird way for a lot of these people. It was sort of like a global Stars: They’re Just Like Us, in that half of them showed up looking a wee bit damp and slightly the worse for wear. Not in an unattractive way, just in a way where they all looked sort of human, which is appealing. (Did you hear that, Heidi Montag? LOOKING HUMAN IS APPEALING.)

Not appealing? Anna Paquin’s cloven hooves. On one hand, they appear to have enough of a platform that she definitely didn’t get her tootsies wet. On the other, THEY ARE HIDEOUS. (I do rather like the dress, though. So shiny!)

Also a curious fashion choice from A. Paq:

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Golden Globes Unfug It Up Party: Leslie Bibb


The other day, I got an email from one of the many many many many lifestyle/clothing/beauty companies that have my email address, and it opened with something like, “you love bibb lettuce. You remember that actress Leslie Bibb. Now, buy yourself a bib necklace.” And I thought to myself, “hey, I DO remember that actress Leslie Bibb. Wonder what she’s up to.” Well, she came to the Globes InStyle party, if nothing else:

I don’t hate the dress — in fact, it reminds me of many an early 90s prom dress, which makes me feel cozily nostalgic for my youth — despite the fact that it’s got a LOT of BUSINESS with the belt and the ruffles and those spotty hose and the kind of not very flattering shoes (shoes being one thing that ought to ALWAYS flatter) and the one-shoulder and the THIS:
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Golden Globes Fug Party: Morena Baccarin


Remember a couple of months ago, where we were all excited about V and how cute Bailey Salinger still looked and how Morena Baccarin really pulled off this haircut? And then we saw a few episodes and it was boooooooooooooooring? I mean, Morris Chestnut is so hot I’d totally have his baby even if he were an alien in real life and not just on the show, but Morris Chestnut, Bailey, and Morena Baccarin’s haircut can’t carry an entire show. And then V got yanked and I don’t think it’s ever coming back. So that’s the bad news for Morena Baccarin.

Further bad news is that she appears to be wearing some kind of dress that front-bustles. In case you are wondering, a front-bustle is NEVER a success. The good news, though, is that she is still totally pulling off that haircut. No small victory, that.

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Hollyfugs


Ms Emma Rigby here is on the Brit soap Hollyoaks, and may or may not be dating a footballer — I’m sure our friends at Kickette could answer this question for me, since Wikipedia has failed me — and she certainly is very, very pretty:

And I have decided that she’s wearing a blue sequined Hammer-panted jumpsuit with beige heels as some kind of Method acting prep for her job. What storyline this could possibly play into, I have no idea, but her character has already: had an eating disorder, almost died in a fire, escaped from a drug dealer in an ice cream truck, been in a coma, had a friend die after her parachute was tampered with, almost died in a motorcycle crash, and accidentally married someone while she was drunk and then refused to divorce him. IT COULD BE ANYTHING.

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The Fug List


In high school I had a friend who one night forgot he was wearing these slippers, and showed up at a party without changing his shoes. I have a sneaking suspicion something similar happened to Elizabeth Reaser:

Of course, she’s also accidentally wearing a dress in a pattern I think was on sale at Limited Express in 1992, except it was a skort. Let us thank heaven for the small mercy that this one does not appear to be. But the real issue is why Elizabeth left on the fur-lined clogs that she clearly only owns to be worn in secret, say, around the house when her feet are cold and/or she’s catching up on FLASHFORWARD (which I am incapable of uttering without whispering slightly and doing jazz hands) on her DVR with a bag of Doritos before running out to put the garbage cans by the curb. If this were Kristen Stewart, we’d be inundated with e-mails from angry Twilight fans arguing that clogging is so hot right now and insisting that if you have ever stood within four feet of anyone who is on his or her feet all day for a living — like a food-service professional, or a nurse, or a really unpopular hooker — then your feet will hurt so badly in sympathy that you TOO will wear shoes like this all over town. But since Elizabeth Reaser is in the lesser category of Twilight stars — the ones where you go, “Oh, RIGHT, I forgot about him/her,” kind of like with Peter “Mr. Kelly Taylor” Facinelli — then I think maybe a couple of them will just worry that she banged her head on an open kitchen cabinet and maybe start writing a concerned e-mail to her agent that they will forget to finish.

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