Fug File: athletes

Well Played, Jubilant Men In Beards: The Pittsburgh Penguins Win the Stanley Cup


It’s the most wonderful time of the year (note: except for all the other times I say that), made better because for the third time in five years, a team I love has won the Cup, the first two being the Kings; one might suggest my third team, the Calgary Flames, are now due, but one might be laughed at cruelly for saying such a thing about my beloved perennial bubble team. Anyway, I don’t even need to CHECK to know that it’s been seven long years since the Penguins hoisted Lord Stanley’s goblet. That’s because I watched them take down the Red Wings in seven games while seven months pregnant — that’s a LOT of sevens in this posts — with my Pittsburgh-native hubby over in Hawaii on a job, both of us blissfully unaware that we were 11 days away from becoming parents. That same year the Steelers won the Super Bowl, by the way, so the beans in utero were REALLY GOOD sports luck.

Also, the Pens won the cup after firing the head coach mid-season and replacing them with Mike Sullivan, a guy who whipped them into shape — only the sixth time that’s happened, two others being Dan Bylsma in Pittsburgh in 2009 and the Kings in 2012 with Darryl Sutter. I LOVE a factoid, y’all. Congrats to Mike Sullivan, who ought to get a meaty bonus.

Enough nattering. TO THE BEARDS, which we shall chronicle in order from feral to least-furry.

[Photos: Getty]

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Your Afternoon Man: Nathan Adrian


Yesterday, I spent like 20 minutes of my First Thing In The Morning Scroll Through Instagram just…fixated on this. I might have watched it several times. (Mouse over the photo to get the option to play it.)

Big news! I’m the newest menswear ambassador for @TommyHilfiger

A video posted by Nathan Adrian (@nathangadrian) on

It felt mean not to share.

[Via Instagram]

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WTF: Serena Williams, But Also Well Played


First of all, I am a huge fan of Serena, and I am delighted that she was named Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year.  She is an exceptional athlete — she could easily be named Sportsperson of the Decade — and she had an amazing year, even without the Grand Slam. She also looks awesome on the cover, even though I have no idea what sport you play in a formal leotard and heels:

serena-williams-sportsperson-si

Actually, Serena could probably easy play tennis in a formal leotard and heels, now that I think about it. So that answers that. But I would ALSO like her to explain to me what she is wearing to the event celebrating said honor:

2015 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson Of The Year Ceremony

As far as I can tell, it’s the lingerie Rachel wore that time she thought she was going to seduce Josh-you-a, but she was actually meeting his parents, as accessorized with a tearaway skirt. But that can’t be right.

[Photos: Getty, Sports Illustrated]

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Fug.S. Open: Maria Sharapova


Presumably, Maria has a lot to worry about this week – like her U.S. Open draw, and whether she’s going to thwart Serena’s run at a Grand Slam.

maria sharapova rally on the river

She maybe could have channeled some of that stress into some retail therapy, instead of wearing the embodiment of bleak stress: tangled, dark, shapeless, consuming. Maybe it seemed edgy and Fashion-With-A-Capital-F on the hanger, but in practice the pants are dumpy and the top is funereal. There isn’t really a sense of fun to the proceedings. Will that foretell her U.S. Open run? Time will tell. Insert ominous music cue here.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Various Recent Tennis Events


The US Open is on the horizon — Heather and I had a long conversation last night (post-wine) about how we’re VERY NERVOUS FOR SERENA — and ergo, New York is aflush with tennis fever: Tommy Hilfger launched his new campaign with Rafa by having a faux tennis match in Bryant Park (this is VERY TOMMY; last Fashion Week, he turned the Park Avenue Armory into a football field [honestly, it was AWESOME]), and Nike finagled a variety of stars to come play tennis in the street, surely as a promotional event for the Open. Let’s eyeball everyone. Bonus shirtlessness and cute tennis outfits abound.

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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Fugs and Fabs and WTFs: Serena Williams at the US Open


We’re LIMPING toward the VMAs, so I actually decided to take advantage of a curated photo album, and present to you: Things Serena Has Worn To Flushing Meadows In The Aughts. Very few of them are worthy of her.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: The Women of the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Sports Awards


I guess Nickelodeon thought, “well. While all these people are in town for the ESPYs, let’s throw another awards show!”

[Photos: Getty, Fame/Flynet]

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