Fug File: amfAR

What The Fug: Sarah Jessica Parker in Schiaparelli Couture


“Someday,” she thought, “my prince will come.”

Sarah Jessica Parker at amfAR Inspiration Gala

“And when he does, he’ll be so GLAD I bought that pastel stamp set and made a chastity garment that protects the rare virtue of my elbows and upper forearm. And when we marry I shall be known as Princess Ulna, and on our wedding night I’ll sing, Let it ‘bow, let it ‘bow, can’t hold it back anymore; let it ‘bow, let it ‘bow, slice the cloth and slam the door // and see it bend // my joint foreplay // it’s been hiding for so long //  a lady’s crook should be saved for her wedding day. I mean, right?!?”

well, is it?

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amfAR in Cannes: Fugs and Fabs, Part 2


I would like to point out that — in a feat that rarely, if ever, happens — I correctly called this. However, the caveat is that I think I tried to call almost all those dresses for Heidi Klum, and that dilutes my success here somewhat.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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amfAR in Cannes: Fugs and Fabs, Part 1


Sorry, Dior, but for this Prom she picked McQueen.

[Photos: Getty]

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amfAR Fug Carpet at Cannes: Sharon Stone in Roberto Cavalli


This dress is freaking me out a little. Her head looks great, the color is nice on her, and it MIGHT have been fine with adjustments…

… but the belt is freaking me out, in part because I can’t actually TELL if it is a belt. I don’t THINK her body is really shaped like that, so it would make SENSE that it’s a belt with weird fake-flesh panels, but…. it also looks sometimes like skin, and if it IS skin, WHERE IS HER BELLY BUTTON? Doesn’t that seem like it’s the wrong size to be obscuring it? I just… where did it go?

join the hunt

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amfAR Fugs and Fabs: Everyone Else


There were a LOT of rando models at this thing. Shouldn’t they all have been home last night with a face mask on, drinking a pressed juice and preparing for the rigors of Fashion Week? That’s what I did. (Read, “I had a glass of wine and a pot of beef beef bourguignon and then watched TV while eating a cake pop.”)

[Photos: Getty]

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amfAR Fugs and Fabs: White Gowns


I guess everyone is feeling inspired by the snow?

[Photos: Getty]

 

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