Fug File: All Points Fuggetin

Taylor Badfug


Y’all, it’s happening. We must issue an All Points Fuggetin for Zach Braff’s girlfriend, Taylor Bagley, for doing something no sentient being has yet dared.

She has been inspired by Vanessa Hudgens’ pants. No matter how hard suspect’s boyfriend Zach Braff is trying to distract us with his man-nipples, the lure of the lace pants over spankies will prove too strong for onlookers to resist; we must therefore consider Suspect to be armed with a weapon of mad construction, and/or infected with a fuggotoxin that is more pervasive than previously thought. The public is urged to look anywhere but at her — including Mr. Braff’s areolae, should the safety net be there — for fear of mass contagion. Be strong out there, Fug Nation. Be safe. Or, go home take cover, because the fugpocalypse might be nigh, and we could be ten minutes fro it raining locusts in lucite leggings and bullfrogs in peplum hammer pants.

[Photo:  Splash]

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