Fug File: Met Ball

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Karolina Kurkova


Mary Katrantzou burst onto the scene — well, for me, anyway — with Elizabeth Banks’ insane patchwork of Dear God No at last year’s Met Ball, and has followed it up this time with one of the most confusingly hideous dresses of the night.

Feel the pride positively seeping from her every pore as she stands next to her creation, mercifully modeled by a professional clothes-wearer. Be warmed to the very depths of your soul by her excitement at the prospect of us all gazing upon this, then noticing… whatever is happening on Karolina Kurkova’s left side. Be charmed by her giddy glee as she watches the world wonder if… I mean, it appears to be bulging somehow, and it has… breast-like structure, it seems, and… why is it all the way down there? The physics of Karolina Kurkova’s body, plus the fact that we’ve seen her in plenty of gowns that back this up, would seem to make it impossible that her ENTIRE breast is located at the bottom of her ribcage. Surely it’s a trick of the pattern…?

Read More

react:

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Elizabeth Banks


I’m actually not sure I buy that people chickened out of punk purely to avoid ridicule or looking overly costumey. Because plenty of people still looked costumey and ridiculous; just in the wrong way, which suggests that a lot of them already knew what larger-than-life silliness they wanted to wear (or in the designers’ case, what they wanted to showcase) and just didn’t care if it fit. For example, if the theme of the Met Ball had been “Cocktail and Cocktail Pajamas,” then this would’ve felt apt:

It’s ’80s, it’s insanely decadent, it feels like something an adult would wear to a party thrown by Prince that promises lots of pillow fights and maybe a tiger in a cage suspended over the center of the room, and I’m not entirely convinced it isn’t also a bathing-suit cover-up. But punk? Not to me., unless you consider that a show called Punky Brewster was on during that decade. That’s some pretty tenuous connective thread though — almost as thin as the Hefty shards creating the car washes on her feet.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Met Ball Well Playeds and Hmms and Zzzs: More Celebs Who Look Perfectly Fine, Mostly, But Also Seriously Could Be Absolutely Anywhere Else


So, there is acreage between “catering to your dramatic whims” and “looking like a crazypants naked and/or upholstered crackpot,” and the whole point of the Met Ball is the former, even if you fall on your face doing it (which leads to the latter, and outfits like that are exactly why Anna’s annual gala is such a hilarious good time and must never, ever change, even when we get capsy over people’s insane choices). Don’t we think it’s about time, say, Renee Zellweger had some semblance of a dramatic whim again? She is operating at a severe dramatic whimsy deficit. Her last one was Kenny Chesney, I think, and although that didn’t turn out so well for her, it was a VERY exciting time for all of us looky-loos. ALWAYS THINK OF THE LOOKY-LOOS. If we’re stuck with a stupid term like that to describe what we’re doing, then at least please make sure we’re having fun doing it.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Met Ball SIGH Carpet: Gisele Bundchen


Oh, COME ON:

You’re supposed to be Gisele Bundchen, not Erin Wasson. Or does this mean you’re worried that they’re becoming the same thing?

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Met Ball Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel


It’s not even that I don’t LIKE this, necessarily…

… just that, what party did anyone think this WAS? I get that it’s Tommy Hilfiger, and he’s the baron of preppy yachting-chic attire, but the Met Ball is not on a boat. It’s not even boat-adjacent, unless you count everything going on at the piers on the West side of Manhattan, which surely Anna Wintour does not. It’s also not on a beach, at the Hamptons, at someone’s back patio wedding, or in a Land’s End formalwear catalog. So punk theme or not, I’m a little confused about lavender seersucker at the Met Ball, period. I’m ALSO really not sure what I think about ZD without her signature bangs — something that I’m sure she feels a little stuck with now, as most people do with things that inadvertently became their signatures (see also: The Rachel, and possibly Tom Selleck or Victor Newman and their ‘staches) — so let’s just vote on all of it even though I’m vehement in my conclusion that this dress REALLY does not belong here. VEHEMENT, I TELL YOU.

First, dress:

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Then bangs:

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Met Ball Fug Carpet: More Olde-Tymey Melodrama


If Linda Evangelista looked like the cover of a book about Lady Jane Grey, fictionalizing that she lived and was whisked away to grow up in hiding in Scotland, or something, so she could come back and claim the throne from a position of strength, then several other people are apparently supporting players in that story. Was there a memo?

[Photos: Getty]

react: