Mary Katrantzou burst onto the scene — well, for me, anyway — with Elizabeth Banks’ insane patchwork of Dear God No at last year’s Met Ball, and has followed it up this time with one of the most confusingly hideous dresses of the night.
Feel the pride positively seeping from her every pore as she stands next to her creation, mercifully modeled by a professional clothes-wearer. Be warmed to the very depths of your soul by her excitement at the prospect of us all gazing upon this, then noticing… whatever is happening on Karolina Kurkova’s left side. Be charmed by her giddy glee as she watches the world wonder if… I mean, it appears to be bulging somehow, and it has… breast-like structure, it seems, and… why is it all the way down there? The physics of Karolina Kurkova’s body, plus the fact that we’ve seen her in plenty of gowns that back this up, would seem to make it impossible that her ENTIRE breast is located at the bottom of her ribcage. Surely it’s a trick of the pattern…?