Fug File: Met Ball

Met Gala Well Played, Diane Kruger and Pacey


It’s possible I’ve been beaten into submission by the sheer trend, yet I think this version kind of works. But before we get into that, we need to discuss this, which Josh Jackson himself tweeted yesterday. Never change, Pacey.

[Photos: Getty]

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Met Ball Whatever Carpet: Alexa Chung


Sigh.

If Chloe Sevigny did it better than this last year and hers had ACTUAL MIRRORS, then you need to go home and re-evaluate.

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Fug or Fab: Rita Ora


I actually quite like this.

It’s slouchy, it’s cool, it’s got a style to it without feeling like it needs to write a treatise called STYLE AND WHY I HAVE IT which it will then use to smack me upside the head. But if she wore this shopping on Robertson Boulevard I wouldn’t bat an eyelash, which makes me wonder if all its fanciness is in the fabric, which we can’t see in photos, or if she really should’ve kicked up the glam and left this for one of those days where she wants to be spotted coming out of Whole Foods with lots of juices and, like, two cashews.

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[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Fugs and Fabs: Models at the Met


I might want Coco Rocha to seize Renee Zellweger by the bun and teach her a few things about the wild side, and how to walk there.

[Photo: Getty]

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Met Ball Well Played Carpet: Jennifer Lopez


“HOLA LOVERS.”

“I do not have time for one-night themes. My whole life is a theme. The theme of how I cannot be tamed. Not by music mogul, not by backup dancer who I only married because I thought he was one of the Judds and not just a Judd, not by Beardfleck, not by vampire, not by whatever it is that I am dating now, and not by some invitation to a thingy the Mets are doing about punk. So I come here with the eyeliner and the hair that is bigger than Marc, and I am animalistic and naked and sheery, like the jungle cat you pay to see on safari and secretly hope will eat Nicki Minaj, and I will somehow still seem like I am being punk even though I am not. It is because of my MAGIC. I am like that Harry Potter but without the sad bits and all the pointy sticks and pets (although, lovers, I do think I have four houses). My secret power is that you will love me even when I am ignoring the rules. The Lopez does not bend to the world; the world bends to the Lopez.”

[Photo: Getty]

 

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Met Ball Well Played: Maggie Gyllenhaal


I know the dog collar feels like something of a paltry ode to costume punk.

But you know what? This is great on her, and yes, I say that even knowing she’s got a little sideboob poking out. Maggie looks sexy and confident in it, which is a refreshing change for her lately, and the pixie cut is utterly perfect with it. Maybe she’s getting lucky and I’m just too exhausted from everybody else to raise a strenuous objection, or maybe I’m grading on a curve based on her last couple outfits. But I’m going to stand by myself here. And then maybe give myself a shoulder rub, because damn, those suckers are starting to burn.

[Photo: Getty]

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