SUSAN: Hey, Thelma.

GEENA: Hey, Louise.

SUSAN: You look… my GOD, woman, were you always this tall?

GEENA: Yep.

SUSAN: Lucky.

GEENA: I know, right? And… were you always this… doily’d?

SUSAN: Yep.

GEENA: Oh.

SUSAN: I’m just kidding. I have no idea what is happening on my body right now.

GEENA: I was going to say. Your head is outstanding, but from the neck down you look like a third-grade teacher whose class tried to trap her inside snowflakes of homicidal doom.

SUSAN: Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time.

GEENA: But… I mean, are you wearing… a garment, of some kind, that hides your Sarandon? Or is that just a long shirt with… what is happening?

SUSAN: Geena, seriously, I don’t know. I play ping-pong now.

GEENA: I see.

SUSAN: And that’s a gateway to beer pong, so basically, you’re lucky I’m not curled up inside a Solo cup right now.

GEENA: It might be a better fashion statement.

SUSAN: Whatever, Thelma. You are wearing a mud puddle.

GEENA: Have you ever gone as Susan Saran Wrap for Halloween? I just have to ask.

SUSAN: Hop in my car. I have a cliff I’d like to show you.

[Photo: Getty]