SHIRLEY: Hello, Ma.
MERYL: No, dearest, it’s not your mother, it’s Meryl.
SHIRLEY: I know that, you crackpot, I’m not senile. I was talking to Half-Pint’s mother.
MERYL: Do you need some medication, sweetheart?
SHIRLEY: Can it, Easy Streep, I’m as sane as a balloon.
MERYL: Which is…?
SHIRLEY: CLEARLY, you are not simply Meryl Streep. CLEARLY, you wear the baggage of your past lives like a celestial cloak made of lace and the tears of prairie folk. And CLEARLY you are the reincarnation of Ma Ingalls.
MERYL: Okay, dear. If you say so.
SHIRLEY: Don’t tweak my craw, Grim Streeper. Reincarnation is my game. Cross me here, and I’ll smite you sometime in 2079.
MERYL: Fair enough.
[Photo: Getty]
