Scrolldown Fug: Sarah Jessica Parker

These pictures have been floating around for a while now, but with all the hullabaloo with the Grammys and the BAFTAs and trying to shake out all our winter clothing so we don’t freeze and die at Fashion Week, we hadn’t been able to get to them yet.

For those who aren’t aware: What looks like just a regular photo of Sarah Jessica Parker out running errands in New York…

[Photo: Splash News]

… turns into a Mephistophelian nightmare.

Let’s go in for a close-up:

[Photo: Splash News]

Behold: cloven hooves, with heels fashioned from cork that doubtless used to plug a cask of Lucifer’s finest vintage Blood Of The Innocents. Why would anyone WEAR these? I mean, granted, I hate anything between my toes like that — I won’t even wear flip-flops, I hate it so much (September’s Fashion Week being the lone foot-throbbing, subway-hopping exception, although it is excruciating). But camel-toe boots? Really? Are they so comfortable that they overcome being fairly hideous? SJP has spent a lot of time over the years insisting she’s not that into fashion — trying to distance herself from the excesses of Carrie Bradshaw, presumably, even as she hits up the Met Ball and gets upset about wearing dresses that have touched other human flesh before — so it’s amusing to me that she’s sporting these, because I can’t imagine anyone thinking they’re attractive except for someone who’s trying to enslave herself to some trend or other.

Perhaps this was out of her hands. Maybe the Prince of Darkness is making a play for global domination, starting from the pavement up because he figures no one will be paying attention to anything happening down there until it’s much too late. Well, pooh to THAT, Satan. You clearly don’t respect the mighty Scrolldown.