Scrolldown Fug: Miley Cyrus


It’s drastic, sure, but I actually think she’s making it work.

When the rest of her doesn’t look like she rolled out of a discount brothel, she carries this nicely. Although I do still enjoy imagining her and Liam Hemsworth re-enacting a bunch of Roxette videos in their spare time.

But what happens when we factor in the rest of the outfit?

It’s not as bad as you probably feared. But it’s still a problem. Because I believe she wants to look nice here, and thinks she’s added some really pleasant edge, yet it’s thudding for me. If those really are stray threads, then she probably tailored the turtleneck herself with a pair of scissors. The shiny skirt may make her look long and lean, and that’s great, but it also looks like it cost $14.99 from the Tin Man’s new line at Kohl’s. Which is fine if it actually DID, but methinks not; there are few things weirder to me than spending a lot of money to make it look like you spent very little. And… listen, I get logo-wear from the standpoint of an actual fun or iconic symbol, like Chanel’s, or even Tory Burch’s medallion. But there should be some style to it. Stringing the word MOSCHINO across your stomach… there’s no flair there. It’s just a word. It’s human Wheel of Fortune. I hope they paid her for the billboard.

Still, on the whole… as much as I am ragging on the outfit, this could have gone in twenty scarier directions and for THAT I am grateful. So maybe it’s more of a… scrolldown meh.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (76):

  1. Jules
    0

    It drives me nuts when people show their midriff without showing their belly button…it makes them look like Barbies, and not in a good way.

    • Acoker
      0

      I have the complete opposite reaction. It bothers me when people show their belly button in a midriff shirt.. it’s kind of the I Dream of Jeannie line of thought where it’s just too much skin. All though, after reading your comment I might only see Barbie dolls. :)

      • Kit
        0

        I am a big fan of not seeing belly buttons because they creep me out.

        (Probably some kind of post-traumatic birth thing. lol)

  2. Kristan
    0

    Completely agree with your assessment: The idea was better than the execution, but the execution could have been so, so much worse.

    Also, I don’t think those are loose threads, but rather her tattoos peeking out. Right…?

    • qwertygirl
      0

      I think you’re right about the “threads.” Just a tiny bit of tat.

      • mary lou bethune
        0

        TINY bit of tat? She looks like a cheap you know what. What is wrong with her? She is cute, talented enough, and above all, rich. I guess we just have to endure tacky, not terribly talented people cluttering up our consciousness. what fun!

        • vandalfan
          0

          yep. Tattoos and bizarre elderly hair (HellO K. Osborn) are signs of self-hatred in young women, and parent issues. I don’t know about the cute or talented part, either.

  3. holly
    0

    Oh, Miley! Gwen Stefani you are NOT.

    • Clarence Beeks
      0

      right? and I hate this hair on her. The blonde is awful, and she is just not pretty enough to pull off such short hair.

      • Popcouver
        0

        I feel like if she’d stuck with the longer, blonde hair, or stayed brunette and hacked it off, it’d be cool. Blonde and short is just too much on her.

    • S
      0

      YES. So channelling gwen stefani

      • ML
        0

        See, I was totally thinking “Belinda Carlisle: Go-Go’s during the ‘Talk Show’ days” with the hair.

      • yeahandalso
        0

        The difference being that Gwen is more than twice Miley’s age. Am I the only one who thinks this new hair is really, really aging her? She looks like a 30-something contestant on a Bravo show, like if you told me she was a single mother of three who owned a salon that Tabitha took over I’d believe you and think she looked great for her age. But she is only 19

  4. Maria
    0

    I’m pretty sure those are her tattoos….

  5. Sonya
    0

    I still don’t like the hair, so I can’t get past that. That said, I don’t think I would like the outfit if I did like the hair. That shirt is a turtleneck sports bra, ugh!

  6. Dazie
    0

    Bargain basement P!nk. :-/

    • Conchobara
      0

      Yep, I thought ‘Why is she trying to be Pink? We already have a Pink, and she’s great.’

  7. Jessie
    0

    *Cue scene from Clueless where they cut Tai’s shirt while playing the, “I’m Gonna be a Supermodel” song.*

  8. Billie
    0

    This is almost working. The hair is cute, and those shoes are pretty fab with this. That shirt, though, I don’t know. I think it were full length, as it were, it might look too serious for the event. Maybe lower it an inch or two, so just a bit of midriff is showing.

  9. Miss Tee
    0

    I think she is totally rocking that hair – I actually love it on her. (AGAIN, DISCLAIMER: I think everyone should go platinum at least once in their lives! It’s so liberating!)

    And yes, the outfit is pretty blech, but I get what she was trying to do. She just needs a little guidance. She’s still a kid.

    • Clarence Beeks
      0

      I disagree. There are too many people who should never, ever ever EVER be blonde, let alone platinum, who do it. And it just looks horrible.

  10. pantsonfire
    0

    I am in complete agreement with Heather’s analysis. Not a bad idea in theory, at all, but the execution is a bit shoddy.

    I actually will go on the record as saying I really like this idea, and this outfit was very close to being great, if it had only been executed properly. I know this puts me in the minority here, but I really don’t have a problem with crop tops on people with the body for them; of course, everything depends on exact execution. Anyway, my bones tell me that crop tops are on their way, so maybe it’s best to make peace with them.

    • Jenny
      0

      I agree- it is not terrible on her. I quite like the skirt, actually. And on her, the crop top is OK (a bit short, but the idea isn’t bad). While the return of the crop top may be inescapeable, I am comforted in the knowledge that I am of the age and level of fitness to avoid the trend.

  11. ZombieD
    0

    Yeah, those aren’t strings-those are tattoos

  12. Sarah
    0

    Didn’t Tony Micelli do a commercial for Mochismo? Or am I misspelling? If she’s (albeit incorrectly) giving a shout out to that, then I’m on board…

  13. Stefanie
    0

    I literally (and I mean literally, not like Rachael Zoe “lit-er-aLLY”), rolled my eyes as I was scrolling down.

  14. Caity
    0

    I too enjoy crop tops on people with the body for them (i.e. Miley). I think this one needs to be a little longer, so it covers her tattoos and removes the illusion of hanging threads. Switch out the skirt color for a jewel tone and the belt for a simple skinny one, and I am all over this look.

  15. Kit
    0

    I still really love her hair – it makes her look much prettier than all of her various brown incarnations, although there was one Globes/Academy Awards red carpet look when she was quite young – 16 or maybe 17, where she looked really, really pretty. Otherwise, this blonde look is cute and young and on her, quite fresh (although it seems like the cut is a direct copy of Pink.)

    As for the look… well – I’m never going to be a fan of crop tops and I *really* don’t like this silver leather skirt (although the shape of it is awesome on her); but seriously – when you consider the fug madnosity of her usual garb – this is super fantastico!

  16. PB
    0

    I am willing to give her a pass on this. She’s young, rich, and apparently about as smart as a sack of doorknobs. It’s all appropriate.

    • Art Eclectic
      0

      I give her a pass, too. I think “smart as a sack of doorknobs” would have been generous when describing me at her age. Thankfully, most of attain some wisdom with age even if we don’t learn to dress any better.

  17. Allyn
    0

    She always makes me feel… stabby, but I’m trying to look at it objectively.
    All I can see though now though is Sonya’s turtleneck sports bra.

  18. Jabba
    0

    This totally reminds me of susan powter… STOP THE INSANITY! She just needs the butt crack leotard to complete the look. : )

  19. Jen
    0

    WHAT.

  20. Katharine
    0

    Oo. Hello there, 1991, without either editing or irony.

  21. amys
    0

    She looks unintentionally retro.

    • pantsonfire
      0

      Interesting. I was getting a very strongly intended retro vibe. That’s what intrigues me about the idea–that it feels a little self-aware. Maybe I’m giving Miley too much credit. But I don’t think this is an accident.

  22. Elle
    0

    Well, at least she’s not wearing her boob necklace…

  23. Donna
    0

    I JUST saw that belt at the thrift store.

  24. Jen S 2.0
    0

    I have unnatural love for shiny things, so I don’t hate the skirt. I think the top is too short and the skirt is just a hair too long. And kill that belt. No, now.

    I also agree with whoever said above that she is just not quite pretty enough for that hair. Not that she isn’t reasonably attractive, but this cut is for someone who can showcase their features or their bone structure or whatever … which she can’t. It’s also too light and washing her out.

  25. Christin
    0

    ……I like it. ~slurks away~

  26. maryse
    0

    i don’t care for the comment about her not being pretty enough for hair that short. i think short hair can work on almost any face. she’s got beautiful eyes, a well shaped head, and a great hairstylist.

  27. Miranda
    0

    Add sleeves to the top and it’s what I used to wear under cheer uniforms. Not a good start. The finish is bad too. Cute skirt, cute shoes, but not together. Does anyone else think this girl is headed for breakdown city a la Brit Brit? Talk about an abrupt shift in persona.

  28. Mongerel
    0

    Love 90% of this: hair, makeup, top, skirt, shoes. I would have waded in here with defenses blazing, BUT! She had to wear that stupid screaming trailertrash logo belt.

  29. kk
    0

    YOU GUYS!!!

    that top is totally a sheer turtle neck that Miley folded up to cover her boobs. You can see in these pics:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2207021/iHeartRadio-Music-Festival-Miley-Cyrus-shows-toned-taut-tum-skimpy-crop-top.html

    that it’s folded, folded unevenly, and becomes unfolded for nip slip. THAT TOP IS WORSE THAN YOU THOUGHT.

    • Sajorina
      0

      Oh, eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • PB
      0

      Thank you. I could have definitely lived without seeing that tongue-out picture with Jon BonJovi. She seems to have an unnaturally long tongue. Like she might be able to lick her own eyebrows.

    • Miss Tee
      0

      Oh…..nooooo……

    • Sonya
      0

      OMG that makes it SO much worse.

    • Helen
      0

      Wow, that really is even worse.

      I love the confused look on Gwen Stefani. Gracious, as always, and willing to smile and take the picture, but I can almost hear her thinking, “Is this kid trying to be me, or is she trying to be P!nk?”

  30. philippa
    0

    Gods help me, I think she looks like Justin Bieber in drag.

  31. Eric Jaffa
    0

    The nose-ring is my main objection to the outfit. I don’t like nose-rings.

  32. Melissa
    0

    She is so not getting married.

  33. Sajorina
    0

    ♫♪”Nanananana…. Nanananana…. Nanananananana… She’s got the look”♪♫ And that look belongs to P!nk, who did it 1st & BETTER!!! This girl is delusional if she thinks I’m going to buy this new persona she’s trying to sell us by shoving FUG down our throat and quietly screaming “I’m a REBEL, damn it! Take me seriously!” The skirt is nice, though… I ♥ SILVER!

  34. Joey
    0

    “It’s not as bad as you probably feared. But it’s still a problem.” It’s like you’re in my head. I got worried when “Miley” and “Scrolldown Fug” were used in the same heading. I almost didn’t scroll down due to the stress. But I don’t mind this. She looks so much nicer with this short hair. If she was wearing this outfit with her old hair (the long, fake hair) I would be out. I want good things for Miley. A good outfit is next on my list for her. This is “meh”

  35. Shanti
    0

    Could have been so much worse…

  36. Pamb
    0

    I believe that belt is vintage. I’m an old crone who remembers when that belt was available in stores… mid 90′s, perhaps?

    And, yes, Miley, that hair looks better on someone with a real attitude… like Pink. I know you think you’re edgy and all, but why did you copy Pink’s signature ‘do?

  37. Ladyblahblah
    0

    I owned that exact skirt and top in 1986, and it had a matching blazer. (I think I probably thought it was an appropriate interview suit.) Even the skanky little rocker chick that I was in ’86 didn’t wear it without the blazer.

    • Rebekah
      0

      Yeah I would have totally worn this when I was 17… in 1987! I had the hair too.
      I just think this doesn’t suit her “vibe”, she’s more country/all-American/pop-rock. But she is certainly pretty enough to carry off the hairstyle. i just don’t think she should.

  38. jenny
    0

    NO. No. no.

  39. Jessica
    0

    I’ll take a cue from my sorority days (GO BRUINS!!) and do this pro/con/pro…..

    Pro: She looks really happy!

    Con: She is trying so hard to morph into Pink and it. is. not. working. Period.

    Pro: She is obviously in great shape. Those abs!

  40. Amanda
    0

    Add sunglasses and she looks like Max Headroom…

  41. chickadee
    0

    I think maybe she discovered too late that the shirt was see-through and came up with a way to remedy it? I think this is much more an “un-fug it up” than a scrolldown fug. And her hair looks cute. Yes, Pink has this hair, but A. the chick from Roxette DID have it first, and no one complains that Pink stole it from her, and B. who among us has not imitated a person’s style that we liked? Just because she’s famous doesn’t mean she doesn’t get to be a human teenage girl.

  42. Eurydice
    0

    I don’t know, there’s something dumpy about that skirt, kind of :Lois Lane wears Kasper to the office Xmas party.” Should it be a hair shorter? Or maybe the top should have been longer and tucked in? Or maybe her heels should have been higher?

  43. ok
    0

    I’m envious of this girl’s body, but lord, does she not know how to dress herself.

    You can’t buy an innate sense of style, but you CAN buy a stylist.

  44. gryt
    0

    She bugs.

  45. smick
    0

    Feel like i am viewing some sort of niche child cross-dressing porn0graphy, and i can’t get on board with that.

  46. Anna Maria Cárcamo
    0

    why does she keep trying to bring back this waful 90s bare belly style..it looks tacky. Only hookers should try this.. and the skirt is waful too, really does look cheap! The shoes are the only nice thng yet they don’t match at all!

  47. deb
    0

    She looks like Brigid Nelson. This is better for Miley, but actually not a good direction in general.

  48. deb
    0

    Brigid Nelson redux. Better than the usual Miley, worse than most everyone else! It almost achy-breaks my eyes.

    • mary lou bethune
      0

      That was good…. redux indeed and that is not a road anyone wants to venture down…

  49. e
    0

    I feel like I have never seen someone work so hard to look so AVERAGE at best, ever.