NICOLE: So nice to be at the Oscars!

KEITH: No, honey, this is the Grammys.

NICOLE: Wait, that doesn’t sound right either.

KEITH: The DGAs?

NICOLE: Are we maybe just… out to dinner, where people happen to be in bleachers?

KEITH: I have no idea.  I am so tired.

NICOLE: I am delirious.

KEITH: Thank God we told people about our new baby.

NICOLE: Yes! This way they’ll understand our pain.

KEITH: They’ll totally give you a pass for this outfit because they will assume you are blind with exhaustion.

NICOLE: Is it really that bad?

KEITH: SAG!

NICOLE: THAT was uncalled for, I think.

KEITH: No, I mean, we’re at the SAG Awards.

NICOLE: Oh! Yes. Also, way to change the subject so that we’re not talking about this terrible dress.

KEITH: No problem. I’m a professional.

NICOLE: I mean… tell me: Did I hot-glue gun this while I was up for a 3 a.m. feeding?

KEITH: Let’s just tell people yes.

NICOLE: Good plan.

KEITH: Again, I’m a professional.