Playing for Fugs


The bangs are GONE. I REPEAT: WE HAVE LOST THE BANGS.

And a vast improvement it is. This face should be as uncovered as possible, because although I think she is a kind of terrible actor, she gives very good face.

She continues to give not-so-hot wardrobe, though:

One half of that dress is cute. One half of it is a caftan. Put them together, and you’ll find that the sum of the pieces add up to OH HELL NO.

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Comments (61):

  1. Lizzy
    0

    So that would make her dress a “halftan”?

  2. juliannarose
    0

    I could live with the sleeve, but the belt is just bad!

    • themis
      0

      I feel just the opposite – love the belt, the sleeve ought to go. And I don’t normally think everything should be belted.

  3. jenajkay
    0

    I would LOVE this if the blt weren’t so hideous.

  4. Art Eclectic
    0

    I’ll be contrarian and say that I love the belt and the skirt, I just wish the bodice had gone one direction or the other. This half and half thing is a trend that just needs to stop.

    • maxameliana
      0

      YES

      • pantsonfire
        0

        In this camp, except I’ll state that I like the belt and skirt portion, and the top should have gone the way of the left side (the non caftan half).

    • Frances
      0

      Totally agree. And I think I could get on board with either left OR right, just not both.

  5. Beth C.
    0

    So, I kind of like where they were going with the IDEA of this dress, it just got lost somewhere in the execution somehow. I agree with Art Eclectic that from the waist down it’s very pretty.

  6. hb
    0

    Yeah if the both sides looked like the left side and the frayed bits at the bottom of the belt were gone this would be great….love the colour!

    • Art Eclectic
      0

      Those aren’t frayed bits, look at the picture in close up. It’s beaded fringe. I’m automatically in anytime bead fringe is involved. Bead fringe, bead tassels…I think I might have been a madam in a previous life.

  7. PeggyO
    0

    It’s at least the right shape for her athletic/boy build. Too bad it took a one-way trip to uglytown on the way to getting to that shape.

    • glee
      0

      Her boy build? Are you serious? The woman has big boobs, tiny waist, and an ass that just won’t quit. There is nothing with a boy build, but this WOMYN here is all estrogen.

  8. Sarah
    0

    She could be wearing a burlap sack–I’m just so happy those terrible bangs are gone, soooo pretty. Now if we can just get Taylor Swift to follow Biel’s lead.

  9. Sandra
    0

    Why can’t anybody decide what the hell kind of bodice and sleeves they want to put on a dress? This looks like it was designed by a committee of design-school dropouts.

  10. Katty McNiley Ripley
    0

    She looks like the hostess in a fancy “Morocco Inspired – Belly Dancer – Restaurant”.

  11. Katherine
    0

    I never noticed how super low her forehead is. Bring back the bangs! (don’t kill me :P )

  12. Alicia
    0

    Chop off the sleeve and the fringe on the belt and I would love it.

  13. Stefanie
    0

    Had she lost the sleeve, the belt and went some where in the middle with the top this would be quite beautiful. The fabric is lovely. For her, Im almost willing to mark this in the success column.

    OT: I was searching for a new bathrobe yesterday and stumbled into the caftan section of Neiman Marcus…Lemme tell you: I was so transfixed by the colors that my inner Blanche Devereaux came roaring out and I literally had to be talked out of buying one by my coworker. Man, those things are hypnotic. And spendy.

  14. Vandalfan
    0

    The dress is angry about that sleeve thing and is trying to strangle the pretty lady.

    The fabric is really great, however, and our Christmas wish is answered, one less victim of heavy bangs.

  15. Mary
    0

    I have a feeling that the bangs aren’t gone… they’re just being held back and the back of her hair is moved forward to cover the clips or bobby pins…

    I thought the belt was frayed at first until I looked close up. It’s actually really pretty beading work so I’m with Art Eclectic on this one… I actually like this dress although I seem to be in the minority. I will agree that if the bodice was done differently it would be stunning.

  16. DanerKebab
    0

    If the sleeve were cut off, it would be much more structural and interesting up top, and the belt would kind of work with it… something about it would look very Cleopatra-ish to me. But with the sleeve, it just doesn’t work at all.

    That said, YAY for the demise of the bangs!

  17. Eve
    0

    Clearly she is trying to get a part in the new Star Wars movies, right? Her dress has already been pre-light-sabred to make the point.

    She is indeed a terrible actor, but Summer Catch holds a place in my so-bad-it’s-good canon, by virtue of Brittany Murphy asking Freddie Prinze for her undaweahs back. I think I need to watch it now…

  18. amys
    0

    Oh darn the bangs are gone said no one.

  19. pidget
    0

    Fire Justin (but you can stay married). He is NOT an arbiter of good taste – don’t listen to him anymore!

    I do like the bottom of the dress, and its Storm Goddess vibe. Head is good, as well. Now if only the bodice/sleeves weren’t so overwrought…

  20. Dave
    0

    On the bright side, at least there’s not illusion netting/flesh-toned fabric panel in the boobal cutout area.

  21. Barbara
    0

    Don’t shoot – I liked her better with bangs. She has a really low forehead, and her face looked more…in proportion with the bangs. Also, I don’t think the dress is that bad, we’ve definitely seen worse on her!

  22. mary lou bethune
    0

    She is so beautiful that all she should have to do is find a simple dress with color. Trying too hard and there is no reason when you have the world on a string like she does.
    Michelle Pfieffer used to wear Armani I think- just highlighted her great beauty.

  23. Rayna
    0

    Thanks to Art Eclectic. In close up cam view, the belt IS pretty.

    Actually, from the waist down, we’re OK.

    But the whole chestacular area is a hot mess. The sleeve is too 70s and the slit is too nervous making for me.

    Imagine how cute it would be with a decent scoop neck and the same spaghetti straps MINUS sleeve and slit. (straightens corset, adjusts bonnet, etc.) Harrumph.

  24. AM
    0

    See, I like the sleeve side. It is winter after all, and the non-sleeve side, I guess you’d call it, just shows a lot of skin. So I would like to remake this dress with 2 sleeves. What I don’t like is the mixed media. Either you have sleeves or you don’t! Also, and I like bangs, but I just think she does look better without them. Maybe just some wispy fringe would work, but I don’t think she has the forehead for such heavy bangs.

    • Dazie
      0

      Hear hear. I like the sleeve. The other side looks like it ripped on the way to the event and she’s trying to work it with the fix.

      I would recommend, though, that if it were two sleeved, that the sleeves were a little more form fitting. Two big floaty sleeves would put it into Renn Faire territory.

  25. Chrissy
    0

    Dress looks like a bad costume from a movie about the greek gods. She looks great without the bands though.

  26. Mara
    0

    My god, I want her face. (Not in a creepy way.)

    I don’t think this is really bad. The color is gorgeous. It’s weird, but in a kind of interesting way? Does that make sense at all?

  27. Esme
    0

    Man, WTF?

  28. Tiffany
    0

    I actually like this. I think I could have done with out the large sleeve, but maybe it would look unbalanced without it because of the cut out. Her face is so gorgeous, though, I am soooo happy about the lack of fringe! Time to grow that out!

  29. regina
    0

    What do you do with your boobs in a dress like that? The material is tissue-paper thin. SERIOUSLY ladies, I want to know.

  30. Gabby
    0

    The dress is way better looking than she is. I find her horsey-faced. Thank goodness those hideous bangs have been tucked neatly away.

  31. Jo
    0

    Ew- what is that horrid belt?!

  32. Mary Ann
    0

    I agree on two counts. She’s gorgeous and she should keep hair off her face and also that she’s really not a (remotely) good actress. When she played opposite Ed Norton a few years ago in The Illusionist it was very apparent to me that we were dealing with two very different levels of intelligence.

  33. Jeanette
    0

    I looked in vain for the slashed red Z on her bodice. Where’s the mark of Zorro? The dress looks like she was caught in a swordfight! One sleeve, shoestring strap massive gash…

    Looks like she is trying to smile, but honey I feel your pain. Growing out bangs is quite annoying… Persevere. You look Soooo much better without them!

  34. Helen
    0

    Nice to see her pretty forehead, brows, and eyes, and I love this from the waist down, including belt/sash/whatever.

    It’s just too bad about the top halves. I think both are like the terrible dwarfs blessedly excised from the Disney cast (rumored, for excessive drinking and drug use): Sleazy and Sleevy.

  35. Claire1
    0

    Get rid of the sleeve ( and yes, even leave it as just a shift style sleeveless on that side)…and I’m on board. I love the color and like the belt…her hair looks great, I would sell everything I own and maybe even the husband for that skin.

  36. openroses
    0

    My theory is that Timberlake is dressing her this way because he realizes he married a beauty and he always wants to be the prettiest one in the room.

  37. Em
    0

    Ok….so NOT pregnant? Because although this outfit has questionable zones, her recent wardrobe choices have been so tent-tastic that i was deeply convinced she must be blackmailing the whole Hollywood press corps to keep her bump a secret.

    So overall – this doesn’t offend my eyes, or make me suspect criminal activities.

  38. Emma
    0

    It looks like when a 2 years old tries putting a complicated garment on and ends up putting her head trough the sleeve or something.

  39. Lola
    0

    Did I miss a comment or is it possible that no one has mentioned her awful looking nude lips? I hope this isn’t a trend.

  40. Jacinta
    0

    I LOVE this!

  41. Aria
    0

    Count me in the camp of “Get rid of the Sleeve”. If the sleeve side matched the other side, this would be perfect. And the best she’s looked in a while.

  42. Helen
    0

    So I found another photo of this (while looking for Emma Stone, go figure), and now my only question is, so when does it become appropriate to simply bare the entire breast? ‘Cause evidently we’re getting very close:

    http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/celeb-rundown-42.jpg?w=500&h=369

  43. derpshooter
    0

    This dress looks like it was meant for Carrie Underwood, but Biel got it somehow and removed the dagger-shaped nude panel (that you know had to be there) from the bodice.

  44. derpshooter
    0

    I do appreciate that one little spaghetti strap that is preventing the left half of the dress from strangling her to death. It deserves a haiku for its heroism.

  45. OnTheCouch
    0

    Now if Lea Michelle will just get rid of her bangs, all will be right with the world.

  46. Sweetsinger
    0

    that color is sucking the life out of her.
    Jess dear, GET A STYLIST!

  47. Shaishai
    0

    I’ve seen this dress/picture about 6 times now on various sites and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I start hearing Cher singing Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves in my head. 1970′s Cher would totally rock this and I think the spirit animal of the dress is talking to me; anyone got Cher’s phone number?

  48. Cutebutnerdy
    0

    The bangs aren’t gone just tucked away.

  49. fritanga
    0

    Justin really hates her, doesn’t he? Because if he loved her, she wouldn’t be wearing a leftover Star Trek dress from Western Costume accessorized with some tinsel he ripped off of their Christmas tree.

    Ugh.