ZAC EFRON: Hi, Taylor. You seem blue.
TAYLOR: Haven’t you heard? I just broke up with Jake Gyllenhaal. We were truly in love. We, like, drank coffee together. It was beautiful. So now I’m all wan and trying to cheer myself up with red lipstick.
ZEFRON: I feel you. I just broke up with Vanessa Hudgens. I had to cut my hair to deal with the heartbreak of being a Mature Single Man.
TAYLOR: Wait, who? Vanessa Minnillo?
ZEF: No, Hudgens.
ZEF: Brunette? High School Musical?
TAY: … Nope, sorry.
ZEF: Naked pics on the Internet one?
TAY: YES. I know her. She should write a song about it.
ZEF: Maybe you could write it for her.
TAY: I’m too busy writing the one about how Jake was my love earthquake until I found out it was all fake and now I think he’s a rake. It’s going to win me three dozen Grammys and probably an Oscar.
ZEF: Well, congrats. I hope you get over the heartbreak. Let me know if I can help.
TAY: Wait… maybe… do you want to DATE ME for a while? We could write a DUET about how it all ended gracefully and with mutual respect, right before I write the B-side about how you are a filthy rotten liar.
ZEF: Tempting, but I’ll pass. Besides, I need to step aside so people can talk about your outfit.
TAY: Oh, right, okay. You JACKHOLE. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS LYRICALLY.
ZEF: Good luck with that.
[Photos: Getty and WENN.com]