People’s Choice Awards Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift


fug-or-fab

TAYLOR SWIFT: Hi, Zac.

ZAC EFRON: Hi, Taylor. You seem blue.

TAYLOR: Haven’t you heard? I just broke up with Jake Gyllenhaal. We were truly in love. We, like, drank coffee together. It was beautiful. So now I’m all wan and trying to cheer myself up with red lipstick.

ZEFRON: I feel you. I just broke up with Vanessa Hudgens. I had to cut my hair to deal with the heartbreak of being a Mature Single Man.

TAYLOR: Wait, who? Vanessa Minnillo?

ZEF: No, Hudgens.

TAY: Huh?

ZEF: Brunette? High School Musical?

TAY: … Nope, sorry.

ZEF: Naked pics on the Internet one?

TAY: YES. I know her. She should write a song about it.

ZEF: Maybe you could write it for her.

TAY: I’m too busy writing the one about how Jake was my love earthquake until I found out it was all fake and now I think he’s a rake. It’s going to win me three dozen Grammys and probably an Oscar.

ZEF: Well, congrats. I hope you get over the heartbreak. Let me know if I can help.

TAY: Wait… maybe… do you want to DATE ME for a while? We could write a DUET about how it all ended gracefully and with mutual respect, right before I write the B-side about how you are a filthy rotten liar.

ZEF: Tempting, but I’ll pass. Besides, I need to step aside so people can talk about your outfit.

TAY: Oh, right, okay.  You JACKHOLE. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS LYRICALLY.

ZEF: Good luck with that.

The Zef told us to talk about the outfit, and so we should do as he says.

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Also, what IS her portmanteau with Zac Efron?

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[Photos: Getty and WENN.com]

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Comments (75):

  1. Kathleen Trail
    0

    Eff-wit maybe?

  2. Leslie
    0

    Zaylor!

  3. SaraK
    0

    I was going to post “Zaylor”as in “Hellloooo, Zaylor!” but Kathleen Trail’s suggestion is WAY better.

  4. Joan Manriquez
    0

    Zefty!

  5. Ari
    0

    Wait, isn’t that the dress Natalie Portman wore on that terribe Vogue cover, with the funny, floating, illusion-netting shoulder?

  6. vandalfan
    0

    I like what she’s done with her hair, for a change, but the dress, no. The color is great, but the asymmetry of the neckline looks like a mistake, as if she needs to hoik up the left side and tie it behind her neck. Also, her lady-pillows look like two pitiful fried eggs on a plate. She needs something to give her a little support under there. Finally: illusion netting. Say no more.

  7. TJ
    0

    That’s the same dress Natalie Portman just wore on the cover of Vogue.

  8. scott
    0

    Tay-Z, perhaps?

  9. Lazza
    0

    Why does her head seem disproportionately large?

  10. kat
    0

    Zwiffter (Wet Jet)

  11. CC
    0

    I was just going to make the same comment as TJ & Ari. It is the SAME dress as Portman’s Vogue. Bad stylist faux pas. Very bad.

  12. C-No
    0

    This advice from a fellow tall girl: STAND UP STRAIGHT OH MY GOD.

  13. Susan
    0

    If dresses could talk: no, no, don’t take me out there. Who, TAYLOR SWIFT! Noooooooooo.

  14. Jill
    0

    That’s so not flattering on her. And I’m all for not matching makeup and the outfit, but that lipstick is just garish with that dress.

    And I’m surprised and a teensy bit disappointed that there wasn’t a world’s most boring figure skating costume line thrown in there. I guess we’re going to see a whole lot of this because of Black Swan, huh?

  15. judgy mcjudgerton
    0

    Dear Taylor -
    Please eat something. Or shrink your head. It’s no wonder her posture is so bad trying to hold up that melon on a toothpick.

    Twitfron

  16. atz
    0

    I also recognized this dress from the Portman Vogue cover! I get 100% of my celebrity news from this site, by the way.

    I think this dress makes people’s boobs look uneven, and it makes Taylor look slouchier than she really is. Also, the illusion netting really makes the back of the dress un-sexy. There’s nothing like bony shoulder blades making a tent out of thin beige fabric.

    However, I do love the color of the non-transparent parts of the dress.

  17. kerry
    0

    actually her song about Jake Gyylllllnnnhaaaal shall be called “Brokeback”: “i was jack twist to your ennis del mar/you said you didn’t want me/but i know you don’t know how to quit me neither!”

  18. toasty
    0

    Tack!

  19. Axis
    0

    I can’t decide if it’s the dress or that she’s slouching, but something about this whole look gives her a very bobble-headed appearance.

  20. cjporter
    0

    swiftron! (emphasis on the “tron” naturally)

  21. vandalfan
    0

    I was sure I’d seen the dress somewhere before. Didn’t like it on Vogue, either.

  22. Kristina
    0

    Taylon! Watch out, that duo has claws!!

  23. k
    0

    I just want to say that I think her shoes are adorable and I’d wear them in a heartbeat, and probably for, like, ten days in a row until my toes started to bleed. SO. CUTE. (The shoes. The rest…well, La Portman already wore it, so it definitely doesn’t feel as fresh as it might have.)

  24. The Other Molly
    0

    I’m so bored with her and him.
    And with all the Gossip Girl creatures.
    I wish we were discussing Valerie Bertinelli’s wedding dress.

  25. Shnaggi
    0

    Blame the Black Swan, as for the parade of bones very gawky fugly duckling dahling.

  26. Lynne
    0

    Taylor’s cute and all but I always get a “little girl playing dress up” vibe from her. Maybe because she slightly resembles a newborn foal when navigating high heels (although you’re right k, they’re adorable). That said, I’m not sold on the weird off-kilter bodice on this dress.

    Also, question: Is Taylor really tall? Or is Zac a bit on the short side? If she is tall, it would explain her posture (another thing that makes her look very young).

  27. bdaiss
    0

    Swifron…too much like SWINTON.

    Like the skirt, hate the top. And yes, Natalie Portman redo. And illusion netting, no, no, no.

  28. kkhh
    0

    I actually think she looks way better in this than Natalie Portman did… somehow the “illusion” seems like an actual illusion and matches her skin pretty well. And while I’d slam her for always wearing her hair the same way…. it DOES look good that way. Can’t blame the girl for knowing her strengths, I guess.

  29. Mallory
    0

    insuffron

  30. JK
    0

    This picture looks like it was taken in a funhouse mirror. It’s not a great outfit, but it isn’t helped at all by an angle that makes her head really look two sizes too large for her body.

  31. Gretchen
    0

    I agree with Axis, above. Her head looks HUGE here!

    She also has a slight Nicole Kidman thing going on, what with the reddish tinge in her hair, the pale mostly-immobile features, the red lips and the dress that makes her ivory skin seem almost transluscent. I think she’s pretty, but damn, girl, get some sun and smile for heaven’s sake!

  32. vista
    0

    ZacTay

  33. roser
    0

    Girlfriend needs to EAT something. Also, the netting is terrible, the color makes her look washed out, and the red lipstick is just glaring with it. Argh.

  34. Pottery
    0

    Fronswi.

    Winner, this one!

  35. melanie
    0

    Stand up straight!

  36. yeahandalso
    0

    the dress looks much better on somebody with Natalie Portman’s coloring. The tan skin and dark hair make it look pretty ethereal. But it just washes Taylor out.

    Zac (I really wish he spelled it with an ‘h’) is looking much better without Beiber hair and fake tan.

  37. Lynnie
    0

    Tayzac.

  38. Katie
    0

    Zefflor.

  39. Gina
    0

    Is it me, or is this shades of Tom & Nicole? Vague faced brunette pretty boy, willowy thing with reddish hair slumped to make him look less short.

  40. Lina
    0

    oh dear lord, would it kill her to stand up straight? And eat a sandwich? She’s on the verge of emaciated. I know it’s awards season and everyone’s doing their annual purge/cleanse spa treatments and stuff, but she looks unhealthy.

    It would be nice to see her be single and happy in her own skin for a while. Mgmt-contrived publicity dates are so boring.

  41. ariel
    0

    SWIFTRON

  42. witjunkie
    0

    Can’t it just be eff-her?

  43. heather
    0

    I just want to know WHY she looks like such a bobblehead in that outfit. It’s creepy.

  44. Rayna
    0

    Cruise ‘n’ Kidman 2.0? Weird, but IKWYM.

    Didn’t like dress on Portman, no better on Swift. And while I don’t hate on her for being tall and skinny (I’m neither one, sigh) I don’t think this dress, or a dress this short is a flattering fashion choice. She looked great in those long, slinky, Old Hollywood dresses, who’s with me?

    I like Tack. Liking Tayzac, too, though it sounds like something you’d take for arthritis or depresseion.

  45. Fuh Ugh
    0

    Team TayZac – it sounds like a pill to relieve depression. Or heartburn. Or depression and heartburn! And perhaps lower your cholesterol while it’s at it…

  46. Chrissy
    0

    I know she’s fairly young and tall, and I know, from personal experience, that tall girls tend to be pretty thin when they are young, but she didn’t used to be this thin. Please, go have a nice meal, I don’t care with whom; you look kinda sickly.

  47. JJ
    0

    The dress is ok. But what is up with her giant head? It looks seriously gigantic on top of her tiny body. It freaks me out. And the hair on top lookdoes not help.

  48. Sara L.
    0

    What the heck happened to Zac Effron? That haircut is atrocious. Fix it please, so I can continue having a completely inappropriate crush on him. Please?

  49. Hedstan
    0

    TayZac – could also be an antidepressant or a brand name for tasers.

  50. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    What a weird pic. They both have such big heads.

    And BTW, for some strange reason I LIKE what Raven was wearing in the previous pic. Although somehow if I saw her in the flesh I might not be so impressed. She’s tiny isn’t she? It’s more of a look for a tall gal. And THANK GOD she’s not standing with her legs crossed. So refreshing!

  51. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I’m with Hedstan. Tayzac.

  52. Kristin
    0

    Re: Zac’s hair — he cut it short for a movie role playing some sort of soldier.

    This is not a terribly flattering photo of him; dude is way HOT.

  53. Tee Cee
    0

    I am so sick of Miss Swift & her slouchy cat-eyed smugness, I can’t help but hate the dress on her.

  54. KK
    0

    Zac looks like he is trying so hard to be as tall as her! Bahaha! He is hot, but he is wee.

    Slouching is doing poor Tay Tay no good at all…

  55. maria
    0

    That is a girl who needs to eat a sandwich. I am loathe to opine on the outfit without knowing what it would look like on someone with mass.

  56. The Other Molly
    0

    Yes Tee Cee!!! Yes!!!
    Slouchy cat-eyed smugness.
    That is THE definition of Taylor Swift.

  57. EP
    0

    TayZor

  58. Anne B
    0

    You know, I get what it is about this girl now.

    My niece just turned four, and she has all these princess Barbies (two Belles, two Tianas, a Cinderella, a Snow White … I could go on). They live together in her giant dollhouse, have adventures, switch clothes. And princes.

    The dresses go on and come off. The princes come and go. The princesses (and their bodies) stay exactly the same.

    Rock on, Princess Taylor. Who will you touch with your wand next? And what stupid little nothing breakaway thing, in fairy magic pink or whatever, will you pick to wear?

    Swiftron FTW. I’ll take a scrip of 50 mg tablets, 90x, please.

  59. Sara
    0

    Doesn’t anyone just despise anything on Taylor Swift because it’s on Taylor Swift and everything she does is exactly the same? Especially her hair (which she did do that bang once, but it was probably a little too wild for her so she had to go back to the original. I imagine that she has The Jetson’s hair-doing machine or a wig. Because it looks exactly the same EVERY DAY). Can’t we just plain Fug her for being safe and predictable ALWAYS please? And keep her away from all the good bachelors. I don’t even know if I respect Gyllenhaal anymore.

  60. Nellie
    0

    I have never understood why Taylor ends up on any best dressed list. She continually wears things that are saggy and unflattering or tight beyond reason. This particular dress also illustrates that she really needs to wear a bra.
    Now her heavy black mascara drawn waaay past her eyes, and unflattering orangy red lipstick have earned her a covergirl contract
    I don’t get it

  61. NYCGirl
    0

    Like the dress, hate the combined-names trend.

  62. Hammy
    0

    Taylor needs a couple of good meals and a walk in the sunshine. Seriously, I know we’re not supposed to be a tanning culture anymore, but I just want her to look like she’s seen the sun. At some point. Ever.

  63. MegRIz
    0

    Tay-Zacs obviously….lol

  64. papillon
    0

    It’s gotta be SWIFTRON

  65. Lr
    0

    Teffron

  66. Emi
    0

    Above all, I take issue with how darn skinny she is. I mean, she’s always been slim, and that’s fine. But now? She’s got bones sticking out everywhere, and this barely-there dress doesn’t help.

    When you go on endless coffee dates with Zac Efron, please, order some whipped cream on your drinks. Thanks doll.

  67. Moi
    0

    I can’t comment on the clothing because I’m incapable of tearing my eyes away from BOTH of their abnormally GINORMOUS heads! Did someone Photo Chop this or is the angle just really, really bad? If it’s the angle, that photographer should be fired.

  68. ohGAWD
    0

    Well, duh, TAYZAC is the drug we’ll all chow down on when these toads insist on fake-dating for the media.

  69. r
    0

    that dress reminds me of j. grey’s in dirty dancing.

  70. bex
    0

    I think she needed color on her to keep her from being washed out. And that red lipstick is terrible. Also, she is a very skinny girl, and I think this dress made her look even thinner. She’s 21 – start wearing things that make you look womanly. Or you could eat something so that your body will actually grow. One of the two.

    Overall Taylor Swift gives me a headache. All that whining about boys – write a song about chocolate or the environment or how you love your shoes. At this point everyone knows boys aren’t all that intelligent. Especially when they look like man candy – you can’t have brains AND the body of a Greek god.

  71. Courtney
    0

    Granted, I’m not a T-Swifty fan in the first place, but it’s a shame for her she picked the dress Natalie Portman wore on this month’s Vogue cover. Good dress or not, Tay will never compare.

  72. Anna
    0

    WHY do all these celebrities have MASSIVE heads and really tiny bodies?

  73. JayBee
    0

    I’m with all the commenters who’ve said that it’s impossible to give the dress a positive critique because of whose wearing it. Man alive, she’s annoying.

  74. mollly
    0

    My vote is for “effft” mostly because that is the noise I make when I see her. It is the sound of “whatever”.

  75. ME:)
    0

    To the person who said taylor should eat something… I agree. Maybe some rat poison would be fitting? …I don’t have a ‘cute name’ for them because i can’t stand the little tramp and if Zac Efron dates her i’ll lose all respect for him.