Party Fug


I seriously just looked at a photo set entitled, “Elizabeth Hurley Leaves The Optometrist.” If people are still going to the optometrist instead of wearing cracked-out stuff by the time we get to Fashion Week, there is going to be a Heather-shaped hole in the wall, through which I will have hurled myself in a Miller High Life-induced tizzy (if I’m not drinking Champagne, why not the Champagne of beers? Better that than the beer of Champagnes).

That said, I’m always happy to see Lizzy Caplan out and about, because she’s usually either a great thing about a good project (Mean Girls, Party Down), or the best thing about a bad one (I was not a fan of Tru Calling 0r — awesome name aside – Hot Tub Time Machine). But I’m not sure even her innate Lizzy Caplanness can save this dress from being underwhelming. We are operating at a deficit already because I’m sick of bodices that look like bras. Indeed, I feel like the whole undergarment industry is just that: for underneath your garments. So when they BECOME the garment, it’s like… the student becoming the teacher… except in a really terrible school where they torture metaphors like this one with inferior diet soda. Whatever. Ignore that. The point is, I don’t like it when people wear stuff that looks like it’s missing what goes over it. That is a very nice slip that one could wear while sitting in front of one’s vanity, powder-puffing one’s shoulders and singing with Annie about going to the movies. But for being worn out into the world, it is severely lacking, and for me is sentenced to certain doom by being paired with terrible shoes.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (29):

  1. Sandra
    0

    That TOTALLY looks like what a 1950′s bride would have worn under her wedding dress. People should not be wearing my mother’s lingerie out in public.

  2. Frances
    0

    I’m just glad she no longer has those horribly unflattering super-short bangs. Anything is better than that!

  3. Stefanie
    0

    I wish it was the color of Kirsten Dunst’s trench coat dress. A color change would have me on board.

    • Jasmine
      0

      I totally agree. I love the flowy fitted shape of this, I just… am not a fan of the colour.

  4. TaraMisu
    0

    WHAT is going on with the shoes??? LOL! It’s like her feet are square and the shoe soles are triangles….

    And the dress is awful. I so agree with Sandra ^ looks like my moms slip….

    • Anna Svahn
      0

      Seriously, the shoes! Why doesn’t she or her stylist check for things like that before actually wearing them? Looks terrible. But I kind of like the dress in a 90s lingerie showing kind of way.

  5. Helen
    0

    Absolutely, bridal slip.

    The spare, simple shoes, I don’t think are horrid in and of themselves, necessarily, but they commit the cardinal sin of managing not to fit in any way at all. They are both too narrow and too long. Which beats too narrow and too short, but not by much. I look at this and think, “Ow.” And also, “If it were me, not only would my feet hurt, but I would trip, too.”

    But here’s the worst thing, for me: What happened to her hair and face? Caplan is a beautiful girl! Her makeup/hair stylist(s) should be tortured with lash curlers, given ’80s perms, and made to eat carbs for this crime against nature!

  6. Blair's Head Band
    0

    Remember that time she was dating and possibly still is dating Chandler?

    • Dyanna
      0

      No way. I just googled her because somehow that relationship completely flew past my radar. They’ve been dating since 2006!

      • Blair's Head Band
        0

        TWO THOUSAND AND SIX holy cow I somehow thought it was a “within the last 2 years” situation

        • Dyanna
          0

          I met my husband in 2006. They’re like the opposite of most hollywood couples who meet and get married 2 months later.

          Also, he’s 13 years older than her.

  7. Siobhán
    0

    This is exactly what I’d buy to wear under my imaginary Edwardian wedding gown to my imaginary wedding.
    Something like this: http://vintagetextile.com/new_page_6.htm
    The length would match perfectly!

  8. Kat
    0

    I HATE it when people wear open-toe shoes that are not shaped like their feet. It just looks weird, like putting your pants on backwards.

  9. Shoeniverse
    0

    I liked it from the hips up, looked cute, just needed to end in a pencil skirt at knee level and the YSL mirror heels or something – would have smashed it.

    http://www.shoeniverse.info/

  10. Tiffany
    0

    I don’t mind the top part at all. I think it looks cute. Where it goes wrong for me is below her waist. I don’t like how sheer it looks at the waist, and I think the area over her hips makes them look a lot wider than they really are. The way this dress is shaped it kind of creates saddlebags.

    • pantsonfire
      0

      Yep. My thoughts exactly. The top *is* cute and flattering; I also think it works with her personality, if that means anything. But my eyes were drawn like laser beams to the hips. There is some bad voodoo going on right here, and I’m positive it is an optical illusion. I think I’m with Shoeniverse in that a pencil skirt (in something other than white) would be good with that top part. The skirt and tops should be separates rather than a dress to avoid veering into foundational undergarment territory.

  11. Sonya
    0

    The shoes are terrible and the dress stumpifies her. At least her makeup is bold so that she doesn’t look washed out. Also, I watched Annie last weekend. Let’s go to the movies!

  12. Art Eclectic
    0

    This is exactly what I would wear. If I needed something to swan around the house in on a “honey, make me late for work wink, wink, nudge, nudge” kind of morning.

  13. vandalfan
    0

    Your rant about clothing pretending to be racy, old timey underwear is perfect. I’m not on board with her unkempt, dripping wet hairdo or ill fitting footwear, either.

    My Gal Pal Val and I made it through college on Miller, the champagne of bottled beer. NO CANS! And we still enjoy it 34 years later.

  14. anny
    0

    Heather, you made me think of John Spencer: “I just love that he leaves a Sam-Seaborn-shaped hole in the wall.”

  15. Mahastee
    0

    It’s a scrolldown feh for me. Love the fit and colour on her, can live with the bra detailing, the way it falls is lovely, but the length is too in-betweeny and the shoes are… on the wrong feet?

  16. jessbuurman
    0

    Big fan of this color. Such a nice dress and wonderful purse in hand. Look pretty in this.

  17. Neil
    0

    That dress makes her look like she has really low hips and therefore stumpy legs, which I’m sure she hasn’t. And those shoes are so wrong – could she not see how weird they look on her feet when she was putting them on? She looks so good usually when she’s on TV and seems cool, so it’s a shame to see her dressed like this. Nice clutch though.

  18. Juanita
    0

    For God’s sake – just sack the stylist! What on the earth were they doing when they suggested those shoes? They do NOT fit and there are som very many more options! Go and FIRE them NOW!!!

  19. Katie
    0

    From the mid-thigh up, I think she looks gorgeous! I think this should have been an UnFug… Definitely should have stayed form fitting down to JUST below the knee. Then simply add a colorful shoe.

  20. Amanda in Austin
    0

    Well played “Annie” reference. Well played.