Hollywood Film Awards Fug Carpet: Janelle Monae


We all know Colonel Sanders makes a mean crispy breading.

Janelle Monae

But we didn’t know he’d be so generous with his wardrobe in a Walk of Shame situation. Chicken and clothes? He’s a catch.

[Photo: Getty]

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Hollywood Film Awards Fug or Fab: Reese Witherspoon in J. Mendel


I feel like Reese’s head belongs to a different dress here.

Reese Witherspoon

It’s the lipstick. Pearly peachy pink is a really strange choice for that outfit, like somebody turned to the wrong page in the R. Witherspoon: November 2014 head-styling binder, or all the alternate lipstick melted in transit when she was coming back from that Cabo film fest. I really LIKE the outfit, it just… maybe EVERYONE has a cold. Maybe Reese and Angie got the same crud that’s going around and they hung out backstage going, “Ugh, I KNOW, I’m out of Zicam and I’m totally getting a rebound effect from my nasal spray and it’s THE WORST and I just want to go home and watch something by Shonda Rhimes.” Reese would watch How To Get Away With Murder, and clearly Angelina would pick Crossroads.

Which Shonda joint is this, for you?

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[Photo: Splash]

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Hollywood Film Awards Fug Carpet: Felicity Jones in Alexander McQueen


Felicity Jones loves a black dress.

Felicity Jones

She seems suspicious of THIS black dress, and I think it’s because Felicity Jones is not a Booty Shorts person. Which is fine. MOST people should not be Booty Shorts people. As pretty as that top is, the rest of the gown fails her; like her fellow sweet-faced Brit Carey Mulligan, I’d love to see Felicity shake it up and enliven things on the style front, but hot pants is not what I had in mind. And I’ll wager neither did she.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Hollywood Film Awards Well Played: Shailene Woodley in Valentino


Let’s first and foremost be grateful that she lined this, given its runway look. (I really did think it was going to end up on Keira.)

18th Annual Hollywood Film Awards - Press Room

Second: While that bodice looks Extra Low on someone who isn’t a model, and therefore I wonder if maybe we’d all be better off with like…20% less sternum,  I do continue to think this dress is completely lovely. VERY Floaty Fairytale, and therefore a nice treat on a Monday. Thank you, Shailene.

[Photo: INF]

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Fug the Show: Scandal recap, season 4, episode 8, “The Last Supper”


Just for fun — as an experiment — I’ve decided to do this recap as a ranking, somewhat a la The Good Wife. In this case, it’s a Suck Index, although that’s rather blunt so maybe it’s just a Worst of the Week scale. Because everyone is bad, but who is just meh, and who is SINCERELY THE WORST? Let me tell you, it was a tough call. I may have punted.

15. Mellie

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Mellie is not as rotten-to-the-core as she’s been in previous seasons — although she’s a bit put-upon for someone who has authored some of her own personal demise, like faking a miscarriage for PR reasons — and this week, she is Taking Action, as you can see by her power-red outfits. They are red like her beating heart and the heat of her lust. Mellie is going to SEX YOU UP. If you replace the word “you” with “Jon Tenney.”

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See, Jon here was finishing up at a function when his car blew up, which the government suspects to be the West Angola Liberation Front (not to be confused with the Liberation Front of West Angola, which prefers to threaten people with uncomfortably long hugs and a relentless stream of clickbait titled things like, “Someone Told This West Angolan That He Couldn’t Sing. His Reaction Will Make You Applaud”). Mellie was so scared that he’d been blown to unhumpable smithereens that she had to run to see for herself — and then she clears the room and jumps his relatively intact bones.

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Later, right when you think he’s going to tell her it’s Too Late, or Not A Good Idea, Mellie tells him that she pulled away from him because he chose the vice-presidency over her — I believe this refers to him dumping her at Fitz’s douchey behest — and then when Jerry died she recoiled from everything and everyone. She tells him that she’s experienced losing someone prematurely,without getting to say and feel and do everything you want to, and that it sucks. “When that bomb went off, I woke up. My body woke up,” she says. Translation: She wants to reap the veep. And I for one think Mellie deserves a harvest.

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Hollywood Film Awards Fugs and Fabs: The Dudes


Let’s eyeball some dudes in suits.

 

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