Unfug It Up: Olivia Munn in Balmain


unfug-it-up

Balmain certainly has done worse.

Olivia Munn

But Balmain could also have done better. I’d have made the top a plain halter, perhaps, instead of designing it to resemble two crossed neckties over a tube top. I’d also have lined the skirt and taken away the strip of midriff. And fit it properly. The only thing here that’s correctly sized to her figure is the footwear, made all the more obvious by the fact that we JUST saw Kate Beckinsale in a visually questionable midriff-baring dress that still perfectly tailored. It can be done, Balmain. Please look up from the Kardashian Instagram feeds long enough to make it happen.

[Photo: Getty]

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Cannes Well Played: Kirsten Dunst in Gucci and Dior


well-played

I thought Kiki was Cate Blanchett when I saw her frock for the opening gala. That is a compliment. And, even, better, she is on the Cannes jury this year, which means we are going to get MAXIMUM KIRSTEN for the next week or so. I am here for it.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty Images]

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Fugs and Fines: Chloe Sevigny and Kate Beckinsale


These two should always do movies together. They are the BEST red-carpet contrast.

[Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty]

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If I Fug: Chloe Grace Moretz


IT CONTINUES:

Chloe Grace Moretz Leaving The Bowery Hotel

There is no person in this wide world who loves a Ribbon Round The Old Neck Tree more than Chloe Grace Moretz. I am being to wonder if maybe her neck is being held on by something other than just…you know, muscles and sinew and skin. Shouldn’t the National Enquirer really be working on this? What if she’s some kind of neckularly-challenged immortal and this is the only symptom? On the other hand, there’s something sort of charming in the knowledge that CGM has flowered separates that she has chosen NOT to wear together. Sure, her head might not be fully attached to her body, but, in some ways, she IS just like us.

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WTF: Kate Moss


Kate Moss has great legs. She has carte blanche to wear a mini for as long as she can zip one up.

Saks Fifth Avenue Canada And Decorte Welcome Kate Moss

But I don’t care how great your legs are. If you can’t sit down without YOUR ENTIRE BUM coming into contact with the seat of your chair, you are wearing a Standing Up Only dress. Period. Be advised.

[Photo: Getty]

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Well Played, Mia Wasikowska in Prada


well-played

I am not wild about her hair choices here — I get it, but it feels a little Low Flow Shower Head in practice — but I’m never going to complain about something this simple and appealing:

"Alice Through The Looking Glass" - European Film Premiere - Red Carpet Arrivals

Is it burnt velvet? Tweed? Is it snakeskin? Is it…tweedskin? I need to know more.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift in Monique Lhuillier


fug-or-fab

So, right before I saw this photo, I had found one in which a different photo service mis-identified Ivana Trump — IVANA, not Ivanka — as Gigi Hadid. This is important because it establishes that I was already in a “WHAT IS GOING ON???” frame of mind when I saw this photo thumbnail and thought, “Dear GOD, and now they’ve mistaken Ashlee Simpson for Taylor Swift.” Observe:

Taylor Swift

In fairness, that IS a leap a person could make, if it were, say, 2007. That thumbnail says, “My extremely famous sister Jessica is wearing Daisy Dukes with wedges all over town and I’m stuck in burnout velvet and chokers because my dad told me I’m alternative.”

let’s blow it up

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