This doesn’t fit. I mean, I’d tell Miley to stand up straight — but I worry that if she did, her boobs would pop right of her top, and we’ve all gone through enough this year without having to live through a Miley Cyrus Wardrobe Malfunction, and at the Oscars no less. Speaking of wardrobe malfunctions, though, this bodice is not meant to be worn on the outside. It’s just not. It’s part of some kind of long-line girdle shenanigans — that mother is attached to some Spanx under there. Which is great. When it’s UNDER THE REST OF YOUR DRESS.