If you haven’t seen this Vulture piece on all the glorious things Helena Bonham Carter has brought to this awards season, you must — especially the video of her BAFTA acceptance speech, which includes a reference to the activities of her underskirt. Watch that and then tell me she doesn’t look like she’d be a laugh at a dive bar over some sodden pretzels and a Duvel. Although HBC did not commit any catastrophic crimes against global retinas — as she had suggested she might — she did at least bring a light dusting of crazeballs, and that’s all I really needed to cheer me up on an overall really, really boring red carpet. She sort of looks like a Shakespeare production that’s been run through a paper shredder. And that’s really what Helena is: a treasure, slightly disheveled, like she’s been buried for a while and somebody only just dug her up because the map was really hard to read and somebody — ahem, Johnny Depp — spilled rum on it.
