Oscars Fug/Fab Face-Off: Shailene Woodley vs. Herself


Well, I should hope she changed before this party — a girl can’t mangle some crudite if she’s worried the evidence will sully her white Valentino.

We liked the Valentino, however controversial that opinion might have been (don’t y’all ever like it when we surprise you?); me, I worried she’d have gone full Hailee Steinfeld and picked a princessy pink sparkly thing that was as safe as a bank and about as boisterous. So I like that she took a chance with something sophisticated that stood out and said something, even if that something was, “Team Leia.”

As for THIS, well, this is vivid in a different way. This is Team Birdcage. (You can be on both teams. They almost never play each other.) You can see the slip poking out the bottom, so obviously it’s fully lined, even though it WANTS you to squint at it and see if you can find a nipple amid the fireworks. Which you wouldn’t have anyway:

Those are some pretty strategically placed weeds. It’s as if they embroidered them right onto the bodystocking as she wore it. Anyway, switching from white to a chartreuse explosion is a drastic change, and again, credit to her for having the guts. It gives me a headache, but in almost a pleasant way, like back when I was in college and didn’t mind getting hangovers because I had such a good time earning them. However, it’s possible I just want to like it because I can’t believe Shailene Woodley, of all people, was one of only a handful of attendees — good and bad (Emma and Gwyneth and Chastain and J.Lo) — who stared down Oscar night and chose Go Big over Go Home. SHAILENE. SECRET LIFE. FEARLESS. I KNOW. I kind of want to shake her hand, before asking if she’s ever met Dick Button, and if so, what does he think of her spins?

But should she have changed? Did you hate the white so much that you’re thrilled to see her encased in any alternative at all? Are you upset that she changed into something you dislike even MORE? Did you love the white, and feel like this is what you see whenever you misjudge your doorframe and conk your head because you took the corner too tightly (SHUT UP, THIS HAPPENS)? Do you think they’re both resplendent? Do you want whisk this dress away on a romantic trip where you eat fruit off a stick and do shots the color of a rainbow while dancing to some Gloria Estefan? Help me understand if this is as terrible as part of me thinks it is, or as secretly fun as the other part insists. I hate it when I fight with myself, especially when I know you’re about to yell at me in the comments.

First, do you even like this?

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Second, should she have changed?

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[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (44):

  1. Stefanie
    +1

    I loved the white and only think she should have changed because I didn’t want to see anything spilled on it. That said, I’m glad she chose this. It reminds me of something a young Blanche Deveraux would have worn.

    • Sophia Loren
      +1

      On a trip to Hawaii.

      I liked both and, same as Stefanie, only wanted her to change to avoid any accidental harm to that awesome white dress.

    • Lynn
      0

      I totally agree.

      • Lynn
        0

        Well, I guess I screwed up that reply. I meant to say that I loved the white dress, and I think she should have changed but only because I would hate to see what a party foul would do to it.

  2. Drie
    0

    whenever you misjudge your doorframe and conk your head because you took the corner too tightly (SHUT UP, THIS HAPPENS)?

    I’m laughing so hard because I JUST DID THIS before coming back to my desk to read this post! Only banged my arm (not my head) but why do we misjudge the opening of a doorway???

    • eliza
      0

      I often misjudge the length of a fork as it’s sideways and the amount of time it will take to steer it into my mouth, and ending with sideways fork tines poking my cheek. This is why I like little forks.

      • aphy
        +1

        eliza: OMG, i thought i was the only one who does that! I only eat w/ little forks too. Friends/hubby tease me because, apparently, the little forks are to be used for dessert. Now I don’t feel like such a dork (unless you made the little fork thing up and then, well, I guess I am a dork.)

        Oh, yeah, I hate the second dress. I hate HATE that color and I detest those shoes.

  3. Katharine
    0

    Embroidered body stocking? OH HONEY NO.

    I’m in favour of the colour of this, which is lovely on her, but the boring t-shirt shape, and the fact that it is in fact A POLYESTER BODY STOCKING (seriously, does she have investments in Secret Prescription Strength?) makes it a no.

  4. Mair Mair
    0

    I liked the white dress, but am of the opinion that it was Too Mature for sweet Shailene. As for this one, I kinda like the fabric. It might make a cute skirt, for example. However, as thusly deployed, I cannot support.

  5. Ginger
    0

    I ALWAYS hit my head on the door frame because I’ve misjudged the distance and then worry that I’ve just had a slight stroke, because it doesn’t seem like something that happens to other people. But I’m glad to know I am NOT alone. :)

    I loved both her dresses. Because they were different from anything else I saw and she took some risks.

    • Sandra
      0

      Yeah, what Amy said. When I run the world, any sightings of illusion netting outside the confines of an ice rink will result in the wearer being taken into protective custody and provided intense therapy.

  6. Amy
    0

    I liked the white for the formal Oscars, and this for the less formal party…but I like this from a distance, not close up….and it would have been better if the sheer parts were a solid pale pink or something, which is what it sort of looks like from far away. I love chartreuse.

    • vandalfan
      0

      This. Exactly. The beige background (and her hair) should be changed. Oh, but nix with the white polyester.

  7. Deborah
    +1

    Good for her! It’s cute, distinctive and age appropriate. And she carries the color and pattern very well…no easy feat. In my books she just hit the same daring color stratoshphere as Nicole Kidman in her chartreuse and Michelle Williams in her saffron.

  8. Katie
    +1

    I spent this whole awards season face-palming myself and asking “Why Shailene?!”. I didn’t understand how such a young, fresh faced sort of starlet couldn’t get it right, since she no doubt had oodles of designer gowns to choose from. It wasn’t I until I saw her Oscar on the red carpet that I finally realized “Oh…well she’s a bit of a weirdo, isn’t she?”. Meaning she was never going to pick the average first-time-at-the-Oscars gown, she was always going to for something a little out there (recall the Golden Globes afterparty creepy feet shoes of doom). My point is, that while both Oscars and afterparty aren’t what people expected her to wear, they both fit well, her hair make look fine, and she looks generally put together. Let’s be happy that she didn’t traipse onto the Ke$ha side of being a little out there.

  9. Rosemarie
    0

    I just looked at the white and loved it, even if I can see the point that some might consider it “matronly”. But I do love that she went with something younger for the after-party which seems appropriate, even if it feels like this pattern in these colors is going to give me a migraine.

  10. Annie E
    0

    I unreservedly love this. It’s beautiful, it’s interesting, it fits and isn’t too short, I love sleeves, etc.

  11. TonyG
    +1

    Loved both of them, but the chartreuse explosion is just wow. So much fun. Like she’s wearing a carnival (in a good way, if there can be a good way to wear a carnival).

  12. Maria
    0

    I don’t know, I think it looks like the drapes in the dining room at Del Boca Vista.

  13. sleepyhumorista
    0

    I think it’s a fun homage to Poor George’s Oscar contender.

  14. Mahastee
    0

    Sorry, I hate them both.

  15. Sara
    0

    I love those shoes so much my chest hurts.

    • carapline
      0

      I, too, am lusting after those shoes. Not that I have anything that I could wear them with, nor would I want to spend that much money. But man, that color is awesome.

  16. Kerina Pharr
    0

    she looks like a 21st century Chiquita Banana

  17. casey
    0

    Am I the only one who thinks her hair and makeup are just not right? She looks like she threw her hair up to run to the store, got in the parking lot and realized she didn’t have anything on her lips and so she grabbed the first gloss in her purse and put it on without realizing that it clashed with the rest of her makeup.

    It’s a shame, because I liked the white dress (although I’m not sure she carried it off) and I absolutely love this one – but the hair and makeup are just ruining it for me. If you’re going to wear chartreuse, you cannot wear that pink lip color and bronze eyes. Just no.

  18. Chasmosaur
    0

    Her white dress grew on me – it looked better in still photography – but that doesn’t change the fact it was too mature for her.

    This though? Blech.

  19. Crystal
    0

    “It’s as if they embroidered them right onto the bodystocking as she wore it.”

    Hmmm, I see a phantom bandeau bra underneath. And they double lined the breastplate with nude fabric, because uou can tell the difference between her shoulders and her collarbone. But like you said, you couldn’t find a nipple if you tried.

  20. cath
    0

    I like this dress. I don’t love it, but I like it. However, I think she should’ve let her hair down when she changed into it. Her ‘do is too severe for this outfit.

    The other dress, I’m on the fence about it. I like the vintage 60s feel, but it’s a bit too heavy. I kind of expect it to smell like mothballs and regret.

    • Claire L
      0

      Mothballs and Regret shall be the title of my first Country music hit……. ;)

  21. Melanie
    0

    You guys. I don’t care about her dress(es), I just had to come tell you that I had a dream that Intern George’s new contract girlfriend was Miss Shailene here. And that I knew this because I found her in his bed . . . in my house? I don’t know. But he did come up to me and put his head very close to my ear and ask me very nicely and quietly to delete any cell phone pictures I had taken of them. I told him there were none (the truth), but he never asked me not to tell anyone, so in my head I was thinking that I couldn’t wait to tell you guys (“The Fug Girls will DIE.”).

    Weirdest dream ever.

    • Sajorina
      0

      OMG, that’s weird as hell and I hope it’s not true… I couldn’t handle it!

  22. Sajorina
    +1

    YES! & YES! I love this outfit & I loved the Red Carpet one as well, but she did the right thing by changing into something that’s fun, festive and not white! I COVET THEM BOTH! And, she looks GORGEOUS! Those chartruse shoes are to die for! Plus, I loved being plesantly surprised by her!

  23. ceecee
    0

    Why did you have to show a close-up? I loved it until I realized the flesh-colored background of the print was her flesh. And if I ever start a band I’m going to call it “The Chartreuse Explosion”.

  24. Marvelous A
    0

    Those shoes are the exact same color as the asparagus soup I’m eating RIGHT NOW and I have to have them or I’ll die.

  25. mepe
    +1

    I’m glad she changed but only because I can’t imagine navigating around a party in white Valentino! Can you imagine the horror if somebody spilled some red wine on her?! This mini is much more party friendly and is probably a lot of fun to wear!

  26. Cara
    0

    Ouch.Looks like she fell into a pit of feathered fishing lures and leaves.

  27. Kat
    0

    Put that pattern on a grass green or kicky turquoise ground and we’re in business. The is-it-my-flesh-or-isn’t-it thing is obnoxious here. It usually is, and it is here. But I don’t hate you for liking it! I wish I did! It’s so close to being a really fun outfit!

  28. Anna Svahn
    +1

    Surprising myself with how much I love the second dress and the SHOES! I liked the white dress just fine and I am pleased that she thought to protect it from drunken revelers.

  29. c
    0

    I like both dresses! Funky but she makes them work. But I’m still in shock that the main girl from the secret life (or anyone from the secret life for that matter) was in an oscar-nominated movie…will wonders never cease??

  30. Cat
    0

    Er, don’t hate me, but I think this is adorable! Painted body stocking or not… I think she looks great. Which is surprising, because I loathe SLotAT. But I love the long sleeves and the mini length. I love the color, which looks great on her, it’s fun and I love it.

  31. NYCGirl
    0

    The print is just so much…maybe if it were only on the top or only on the skirt. And not in that shade of green.

  32. Bubba
    0

    Just getting her courtesy of Fug Madness and unabashedly love this dress. I would like to own it.