Oscars Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel

Various news reports claimed that Zooey here cut her hair, but I’m pretty sure this is just a faux bob — it’s curled up and pinned, right? Regardless, it’s very cute on her. Unlike this dress, which is from the Valentino line I like to call WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAB ME Spring ’13.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (61):

  1. Erin

    You’re right about it being pinned – it’s definitely not cut. She mentioned it on Twitter.

  2. Jill

    I like that her bangs aren’t covering her eyebrows like they usually do. I think the dress would be prettier maybe if it was tighter or something? Like it seems dowdy to me.

  3. Mary

    I’m 52 and this would be perfect on me. I have no idea why a gorgous young thing would want to wear it, though.

  4. stephanie

    who is her date?!

  5. Marie Phillips

    Oh that is grim. Is it any wonder Anne Hathaway decided against Valentino at the last minute? He probably wanted to dress her as the ghost of a moldy shower curtain.

  6. Lisa

    Oh boy I hate this. Looks like a bridesmaid dress from 1973.

  7. Kat

    She legit looks like one of those creepy porcelain dolls my aunt collects. She’s already pretty pale, so she needs a bit of colour (like that Prada dress she wore last year which I loved). I think sometimes she tries too hard to fit the “quirky” mold she got shoved into

  8. Amy

    When my great-grandmother died 40 years ago, I got one of her little hankies as a keepsake. It was made of that same exact see through material with pastel flowers on it. That is all I think of every time I see the dresses from this line.

  9. Mair Mair

    Jessica, if that’s the dress you hate LEAST, I can’t even imagine what the others look like. Seriously, I see something like this and I start to think there’s something to the “fashion designers actually hate women” theory.

  10. deee

    Looks like she is wearing my gunne sax prom dress from 1979.

  11. Cucina49

    More than anything else, the dress just isn’t her. She looks great in more color and that floor-length cut does her figure no favors. The hair is great, though.

    • qwertygirl

      Spot on. This isn’t her style, her color, her anything. Why???

  12. Tamburlaine

    The close-up shot shows how pretty the embroidery is, but the shape of the dress is so very blah. It might have worked better on someone not so pale-skinned (the colour, anyway), though I can’t imagine it would look flattering on anyone. Maybe if the sleeves were removed it would look a little edgier and less antique doll’s dress.

  13. tigers4us

    LOL! The “why don’t you just stab me” line! Zooey looks very pretty, but that dress looks like a 10 year-old’s formal or flower-girl dress.

  14. TonyG

    Here she looks like she could be Katy Perry’s sister, or at least 1st cousin. That is, her face looks like she could be, not her outfit.

  15. Carrie

    Zooey so sad! Did some big mean pewson take away youw dowwy?

  16. lilywise

    Does she unfortunately weak neck muscles?
    Is her head freakishly heavy?
    Does she have strong magnets implanted on her shoulder and ear?
    If the answer to those questions is “no,” then Zooey, Hold Your Head Up.

    • Jules

      Maybe she’s hoping to land the lead role in a biopic of the Nipper the gramophone dog.

    • catfarmer

      i think that if you cock your head a lot the muscles in your neck shorten and it sticks that way? bc i have that /o\

    • me

      Thank you! Her perpetual floppy head, practiced awkward stance and that little girl lost eye thing she does just annoy the heck out of me!

  17. Ellelake

    nerd chic

  18. bex

    Miss Havisham. The end.

  19. Anne B

    The whole look is like an unfortunate mash-up by The Carpenters.

    Her dress keeps singing “We’ve Only Just Begun,” but her face is like, “RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS, y’all.”

  20. Cat

    She looks comsumptive, or maybe just tired and sad. But seriously, this dress is awful and totally washes her out. Hate.

  21. Tiffany

    I am so tired by her shtick. She knows she is being photographed, why in the world is she POUTING? :(

    • Sandala

      she’s too ‘cool’ to appear to enjoy an event at which she has to wear a $7,000 (?) dress and be photographed. So over her.

  22. na

    That is not Zooey Deschanel. That is her creepy, annoyed ghost.

  23. Squirrel!

    She looks so gorgeous from the neck up.

  24. Alma

    “Ghost of a moldy shower curtain” is fantastic, high-five Marie Phillips!

  25. una

    I declare this Oscars the year of the wedding gown! I have never seen so many gowns at an award show that could also be a wedding gown! Its gorgeous but I am so bored with her 50′s look.

  26. rindacat

    pastel froot loops on tulle
    but she looks sweet and adorable

  27. Miranda

    This is what happens when people who are NOT Valentino Garavani design for Valentino. The brand has really suffered since he retired.

  28. karacocoa

    Oh for chrissake girl, you’re in your thirties. Please stop with the twee nonsense. And the dress is terrible.

  29. MeMo

    I just can’t like her or anything she wears, simply because she tries SO. HARD. Yech.

  30. Sandra

    She has such a pretty face and gorgeous hair. So she’s got that going for her. The dress is hideous and she really needs to quit the “quirky girl” schtick.

  31. Tracy L

    I wonder if “in person” this dress would be better? When I zoomed in on it, it certainly looked better than the smaller picture.
    Sometimes i wear things because they feel nice or have a certain feeling or connotation about them, and then when I see a photo of myself i am like what the hell was i thinking?

  32. Eli

    She looks a lot like Alexis Bledel in the face picture.

  33. Allan K

    Also: He is wearing loafers with a Tux. I know its only a party, but really, he should know better.

  34. philippa

    I want to like Zooey because I ‘ve had a girl-crush on her sister Emily for years. Zooey is a beautiful woman too, but she doesn’t seem to have a real personality beyond the manufactured adorkability that she turns on for her show. In photos like this, she looks like someone forgot to change her batteries before they took her out of the box she lives in between public appearances. The Valentino does nothing for her, but I can’t imagine any gown could cancel out her total lack of animation.

  35. mepe

    I loved this Valentino line…I like the romantic vintage feel and I think it really suits Zooey w/out being overtly twee. The floral beading is really gorgeous and her hair & make-up match perfectly. I think it’s great that she never feels the need to skank it up on the red carpet. However, I don’t love her boring satin bag.

  36. CJ

    I really think she needs to stop it with the cutesy hipster-granny-vintage vibe. This look is so twee and annoying. As much as I dislike her, she IS a pretty girl. I’d like to see her in something more va-va-voom.

  37. Poppy

    The embroidery is so beautiful, but that colour just does her no favours. Also, her false eyelashes never seem to fit her eyes properly (which is odd, since every time I see her she’s wearing them, even on her show).

  38. Bailey

    She always goes for this mournfully-pretty schtick, and she hasn’t realized it isn’t cute.

  39. Nancy

    Between the unflattering and unattractive dress and the facial expressions, he overplays the twee thing (Yes – redundant) that I can’t understand why anyone would give her a pass with this.

  40. fritanga

    I’d expect something this grandma-curtainy on Lena Dunham (ironically worn, of course), but I thought Deschanel had graduated from Mamie Eisenhower Couture long ago. Guess not. This is horrible on her and she’s wearing it as if she knows it.

  41. Scanderoon

    Hate the dress, love her lipstick colour.

  42. Lilac

    Have to disagree on the general Valentino-bashing; I looked at the show photos of the last shows from Valentino in Paris 2013 (on vogue.com for example) and I think the are gorgeous. However, I agree that not many of the designs scream “Oscar Gown” in that glamorous way, but that just means they were not optimal for that occasion, not terrible in general.

  43. Vandalfan

    Shorter, and on a Fanning. Or sleeveless, on Zooey.

  44. Cynthia

    For the record, I’d like to state that with all the Hathaway-hate that is on the internet, people need to remember that Zooey Deschanel still exists. Therefore Hathaway is no where near the most annoying actress in Hollywood. As for the dress, first put it on someone else, then hack off the entire arms/ clavicle area to make it strapless. Then, cut it to tea length and tailor it in so it actually fits. That might help… otherwise just toss it in the trash and find an available ODLR.

  45. Chris P

    …so I’m guessing consumption is what’s hot for spring 2013?

  46. CJG

    We have seen this style repeated in 3? 4? shows by the new designers at Valentino. I just don’t get it. Anne Hathaway, SJP and others have all worn these moldy looking tea and pastel-colored “hostess dresses” and I don’t think it has flattered anyone.

    On a positive note, the beading is probably gorgeous in person. It’s just so unfortunate someone had to go blind beading such an unflattering dress.

  47. Moa

    I actually like the detailing, I think it’s very beautiful, but I’m not sure I like the sleeves. I think they should be a bit shorter or non-existent, and I don’t think beige is her colour at all. She needs something more.

  48. Sajorina

    It’s not terrible, it’s just FINE! I love her hair & makeup!

  49. ThaliaM

    Poor Zooey. She looks like she finally stepped out of her usual twee-box (not that this isn’t twee, but it’s definitely a different type of twee than what she usually prefers) and found that the world is cold and scary out there.

    I *really* don’t care for her hair that way. Maybe she doesn’t either. Sometimes those bad hair days can be enough to make you feel as sad and/or cranky as she appears.