OMGly Played, Bai Ling

Not long ago, Jessica accidentally posted a piece without deleting her place-holder text, “WORDS.” But I almost published this one written that way on purpose, because… WORDS.

Of all the times we’ve thought Bai Ling was swerving toward normalcy like a drunk driver on the freeway, this is the BIGGEST swerve toward the MOST normalcy. Case in point: I’m looking at her face more than anything else. Has that ever happened before with Bai “Nipples” Ling? So, yes: WORDS. I have some. They are muddled and weak — they are the Scoundrels of words — but they are floating through my head in a confusingly complimentary haze and I can’t tell if I’m ever supposed to feel this way or if I should be begging Bai to go out tonight in a sequined dickie with hot pants made of Ruffles (not ruffles — Ruffles) and a fur face mask.

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Comments (92):

  1. Gigi

    And yet, the blue fingernail polish and airing-out-the-polterwang stance keep it all very Bai. Phew.

  2. Kate

    Are we sure this isn’t just Bai’s incredibly fashionable evil twin – Ai Sting?

  3. elaine

    I looked at that picture and thought, “Huh, that cute little Asian girl looks a bit like Bai Ling!”

    I’m shocked that it’s really her.

  4. Em

    I frigging love her shoes. I would have voted a “yes” just for that.

  5. Andrew S.

    I swear, I am legit tearing up at this! she looks AMAZING! beautiful, gorgeous, all those nice things. And yet, it still seems like her as well. it’s not this out of control glamour moment, but instead just more refined Bai.


  6. Suzy

    WOW, she looks amazing! My favorite part is the beautiful black-on-white print. And Bai is one of the few people who can really, truly pull off the one-shoulder look. This particular dress does it so gracefully!

  7. pippa

    I have to keep scrolling up again to make sure it’s her. In that dress. I am confused. Are we sure this isn’t photoshopped?

  8. andrea

    I think both choices 1 and 3 are true: I think she looks great, AND I want her to bring back the crazy. Seriously.

  9. maggie

    I’m in shock – it’s flattering, interesting, and even the shoes are right!

  10. Cathy

    Oh, come on… show us the back! Surely there’s something weird back there!

    (I think she looks great! Who knew?)

  11. Maggie

    Andrea – if it’s at all soothing, there’s no picture from the back so there’s still hope she’s bringing the crazy in the form of ass cut-outs or something equally appaling!

  12. Lori

    Astonishingly tasteful, but her stance reminds me of a stallion passing water.

  13. M.Amanda

    I’m with Cathy. She looks too good. Surely another angle will reveal a super high slit up the back showing off neon pink panties spelling out “P*RN STAR” in sequins.

    Or has the world flipped upside down? Today, Bai Ling looking practically classy; tomorrow, Helen Mirren wearing mesh over just a bra?

  14. Allison

    Now I know why she dresses crazy. She just looks like an average pretty Asian lady without all the neon feathers and other adornments.

  15. Allison

    Now I know why she dresses crazy. She just looks like an average pretty Asian lady without all the neon feathers and other adornments.

  16. Mark

    I am downright awe-stricken.

    New stylist? New shopping buddy? WHO KNOWS, BUT I LIKE IT.

    I have never seen Bai Ling look this graceful, elegant, and ladylike. And if you’d told me even ten minutes ago those were words I’d associate with Bai Ling, I’d have laughed so hard my lashes would have curled all by themselves.

  17. Blanche

    Thanks to Bai Ling’s drunken swerve, crashing in a heretofore unthinkable way into the realm of beauty, simple beauty, the moment of Kantian enthusiasm has arrived in our era at last. Anything is now possible.

  18. Share

    Great. The Seventh Sign of the Apocalypse.

  19. laura

    well…here come the flying pigs!

  20. Jen

    I’m just loving the shoes that are subtlely black/white to go with the top of the dress.

    Wait. I just used “subtlely” to describe something bai ling is wearing.

    What’s next? “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!”

  21. Jessica

    I don’t think one could be in the presense of The Helen Mirren and not have some of her awesomeness rub off. Maybe this is just the prelude to a new, “legitimate actress” Bai Ling….I predict a People Magazine cover story about how all those crazy outfits were the byproduct of the drugs she was forced to take by an ex-boyfriend ala the inmates in Bridget Jones 2: the not good movie.

  22. Ann

    This is the proverbial exception that proves a rule. Bai Ling can dress well if she wants to. Let’s hope it’s just a phase.

  23. Tabitha

    Gigi took the words right out of my mouth. For all those concerned, take heart; that stance doesn’t lie. It promises that Ms. Ling will bring crazy back.

  24. Sandra

    Yeah, I’m on the “why the hell does she stand like that?” team. The clothes are really rather pretty and sophisticated, but sane people stand up straight.

  25. The Other Molly

    Okay, now I get why there was an earthquake in my backyard last week.
    What’s next?
    Swinton with the same look.

  26. Amy

    Am I the only one who thinks there is something very Posh Spice about this? The hair, the stance, the bitty-itty waist, the facial expression?

    Or maybe Posh is kind of like purple elephants: you see one, and then you start seeing them EVERYWHERE.

  27. Kris

    And her HAIR looks so nice! It took me a while to figure out why she looked SO different besides the oufit.

  28. SaraK

    Oh Bai, you look so lovely in this charming little dress, it’s like a cool, refreshing palate cleanser between rich courses of crazy.

  29. Sherri

    The backs of her legs HAVE to be covered in Band-Aids of Truth or something.

    I sort of get the stance. She’s not accustomed to that much fabric actually touching her skin. She’s feeling a bit…constrained. Constricted. Underneath that calm, fashionable, downright lovely exterior is a little crazed Nipple Nymph straining to get out.

  30. yvetterene

    She looks amazing. Funny pose though.

  31. BlahBlahBrilliant

    She looks pretty good, but does she always have to stand like that?

  32. Kirsti

    This pic is messing with my head. I keep thinking, “She’s very pretty”. It’s the end of the world as we know it.

    Huge props to Jen(9:08am) for the Ghostbusters reference. Listen. Do you smell something?

  33. Cecily

    Gigi, LOL, exactly! Dress: remarkably cute, pose: hilarious.

  34. Elianne

    OMG I didn’t know Bai Ling was so damn amazingly pretty! She looks awesome and I did not even recognize her at first. I am in shock. More of that please Bai, I want you to look that good forever and always!

  35. Eliza Bennett

    I actually squealed and seal clapped when I saw this. Bai Bai, crazy! Hello, Ms. Ling! She’s wearing clothes and her hair looks good and I don’t hate the shoes and….YES.

    And she does look a bit like the Posh.
    Re:Stance– does it look a bit like she’s trying to do the vanity fair “boys of world cup” cover? I looked at it and thought “jockstrap.”

  36. Zulkey

    She looks like Asian Paris Hilton here so…way to go? (I think she’d look much cuter without the pose and attitude-face)

  37. Crouttie

    Her hair really makes the difference. I was always bothered by her bangs.

  38. Debs

    Swear to God, didn’t know it was her. Had to double and then triple check the name and then had to deny it a couple of times before I grudgingly acknowledged it was her. She looks amazing, and not even in an ‘Amazing for Bai Ling’ way, just very nice.

  39. silverin

    Photoshop. It has to be. Bai’s head on a (mostly) sane person’s body. And poorly done, too, because the PSer forgot the band-aids.

    It’s surreal, and now my head feels funny.

  40. Camille

    Still, it looks like she’s wearing a wig…which got me thinking. I checked for an adam’s apple and she comes clean, but this reminds me of a trannie’s interpretation of Posh spice.

  41. Carolina Girl

    Don’t act so surprised, Fug Nation. Check the archives and see that every once in a while she can actually dress like a real human being.
    And as further proof that it is really her, note that she almost always stands this way and her bangs are the same.

  42. Mjx

    Tsk. For this one, you really needed an ‘Oh, whatever.’ option to vote on.

  43. amy Ressing

    That scared me.

  44. Sajorina

    I can’t belive I am plesantly surprised by Bai Ling’s look! She looks normal!!!

  45. vandalfan

    I adore Bai, even plain vanilla Bai- do you know, this gal is well over 40? Posh Spice could take some lessons from our dear Bai.

  46. Teen!

    So the girl can pull it together???
    Why was she pissing us off like that for sooo long?

  47. Suzy

    Because she knew that we secretly loved it!

  48. Anonymous

    I think the pose is sort of Bond Girl. I keep wondering when and from where she’s going to whip out a gun.

    But this is a really cute and nice dress.

  49. Jane

    She is pretty, wow.

  50. Grace

    Are you SURE it isn’t backless?

  51. Audrey

    I love the way you write, Heather. It’s my favorite part of this website.

  52. Az

    The outfit is lovely. But why does she have the same expression on her face that I used to have when I was 12 and my mother made me wear the little girl dresses and patent-leather Mary Janes when, clearly, what I was supposed to be wearing was Sandy’s final outfit in Grease?

  53. elle

    Az, Maybe Mama Ling finally found something shiny enough to distract Bai while she dressed her in something other than leather and bare nipples.

    Also, I have those shoes. Usually when a celeb wears something I have, it’s exciting, this time I’m just confused.

  54. jen310

    I view this as a palate cleanser. It is so refreshing. When she goes back to bringing the sartorial crazy I will be able to sup on its deliciousness with such delight. Well done, Bai, well done, indeed.

  55. buttercup

    She truly looks lovely. I think we all knew this was lurking somewhere beneath. Now for that stance…but baby steps, baby steps.

  56. iminozz

    Those shoes are Awesome! Her stance says..F U Fugnation! I pee on your comments! Bai Ling looking put toghther, classy..hell has frozen over. Good for her.

  57. L

    Oh, Bai. I love you even more now. Let’s be besties and share shoes (because those shoes you have on are awesome).

  58. Emma Power

    Doesn’t she look a little sad? I fear she’s missing her usual wacked out look. On the Bai topic though, I actually saw one of her “movies” at my local video store last weekend!! I was so thrilled to see one of GFY’s all-time favourite fuggers actually “working”. It was only her on the cover, holding some sort of weapon. And her name was the only “star” mentioned. I almost rented it.. except I didn’t. Next week, surely, P-squared?

  59. Maryscott O'Connor

    People who dress as insanely as Bai Ling ordinarily does — and are as gorgeous as Bai Ling is, and have as much access to fabulous fashion as Bai Ling does, and are as thin as she is… et cetera… obviously are not completely sans clue. The woman has been making her fashion choices deliberately. Perhaps she and La Mirren have had some heart to heart talks?

    Let us not forget, Dame Mirren used to dress quite freakishly herself, back in her younger days. You can look up the photographs yourself — she had a long, bizarre flirtation with garish fashion. Not quite as grotesque as Ms. Ling, but certainly her sartorial outings did her injustices on a par with, say, the tamer escapades of Lady Thomas Jane-Arquette. She simply did not know how to dress to suit her body back in the day. Ample bosom, short waist… She felt ill at ease with herself, so she put it all out there, went with too much instead of subtle and tasteful.

    At any rate, I, for one, would not miss the “Look at me! Look at ME!” version of Bai Ling, should she have had a Mirrenesque revelation. There are far more than enough of those in the world, thank you. If she should turn out to be someone with exquisite taste, I’d love being bowled over for a few years; the 180 degree turnaround alone would take that long to digest and enjoy.

  60. chicsinger simone

    HA!!! @IMINOZZ : I pee on your comments! I have been laughing for the last three minutes at that.

    I only wish her face were the same color as her body, though. Otherwise? Win.

  61. Jackie


  62. Dana

    I think with Gaga and the like upping the crazy this was the most out there thing Bai could do. She is probably getting tons of photos posted all over the net thus more press for her. She looks beautiful and I really love the hair. Well played, Bai.

  63. Karina

    Would someone please buy this woman a double cheesburger and fries? She looks like she hasn’t eaten since the 4th of July picnic, where she had three carrot sticks…

  64. Jaime in the Burgh

    I love it. She looks beautiful, her body looks fantastic. Her hair is very cute.

    There is only one thing I’d change…the lipstick. She should have worn a subtle, medium toned cherry or something…I hate the silvery blue frostbitten look, it washes her face out a little, which is unfortunate.

  65. Janellionaire

    This is blowing my mind. Why would she do this? Has she been playing us all along? Was she acting like a crazy person just to get us all looking, only to come out as a classy, well dressed lady? Her pose suggests that she knows exactly what she is doing here, which is freaking everyone out in the only way left available to her. OMGly played, for sure.

  66. Stav

    Oh Bai, why did you have to go and ruin your crazy ass dressing streak? Now we’ll be forever in two minds about you. I’m so sad right now…

  67. Narie

    Wowsa, Awesome. If only she would dress this serious all the time, maybe she’d be taken more seriously too.

  68. Magda

    Her expression reflects my feelings about this outfit — bored and pissed off.

    She looks nice, but I don’t come here for nice.

    On the other hand entirely, it is a surprise.

    I’ve decided it’s okay, as long as it doesn’t continue along this vein.

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