Well, Miley Cyrus HAS been taking a break from the public eye lately, and we all know nature abhors a vacuum. So along comes Noah, with an album coming out called NC-17 (for her initials and age, the year 2017, and the rating; it’s deep as a forest moon), and a ridiculous John Galliano that will make you think, “Huh. I thought the world had finished its parade of celebrity Cyrus spawn.” As best as I can tell, not much is new with this updated operating system; hearing her single, I’d have assumed it was Miley — or, Miley before the voice lessons that got her hitting those “Wrecking Ball” notes (that’s not an insult; she clearly did a lot of work there and now she has pretty impressive pipes) — had the Internet not told me otherwise. So I guess… second verse, same as the first? Time, and granny pants, will tell.

[Photo: Getty]