Nearly NSFWly Played: Adrienne Bailon

Well, I’d like to thank Adrienne “I Once Went Basically Bottomless” Bailon for reminding me that we have an “unauthorized nips” category:

Although I think this near-nip was TOTALLY authorized:

Yeah. The sad thing is, if that dress hadn’t had its chest cracked for better nip exposure, it actually would have been really cute. But that wouldn’t have been nearly as MEMORABLE. Look, maybe it’s just a salute to the time Elaine sent out a Christmas card with her nipple showing. If this is all just a subtle Seinfeld reference, Adrienne, then we’re ALL GOOD.

[Photos: WENN]

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Comments (37):

  1. Annie E

    That is so awful, and yet, it is possibly losing the competition with her CARTOON MAKEUP for attention. I’m scared.

  2. TonyG

    Perhaps she’s trying to distract us from those hideous shoes? Okay, maybe not.

  3. Karen

    That dress is SO not made for a girl with girls the size of her girls.

  4. TaraMisu

    What the ………….

    And yeah those shoes are fug.

  5. gryt

    Ballroom dancing makeup/tan. All that’s missing is the glitter.

  6. Reg

    she looks like a adult slasher movie victim

  7. Anita

    I had no idea who this person is, so I looked it up. I now have a vague clue (I’ve never seen a single thing she’s been in) and I’ve lost five minutes of my life.

    That said, put. it. away.

  8. Stefanie

    It would have been really cute if it hadnt been hacked up. Im really having a hard time figuring out if she’s always been this trashy and I just didnt know it or if the day she went bottomless was just a life changer for her.

    • Sajorina

      She got so much attention that time that she probably thought “Let’s do it again, but with another part of the body… People need variety”!

  9. Rayna


    Not desperate at all.

  10. ringthing

    The way her boobs seem to be at two different heights is a reference to George Bluth’s secretary, Kitty.

  11. Mrs. Ditter

    What is WRONG with people? And that is a serious question. There’s a psychological study waiting to be done here here, folks. *sigh*

    • Sajorina

      This could be a case of “Histrionic Personality Disorder”: “For these people, their self-esteem depends on the approval of others and does not arise from a true feeling of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed, and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention” (see Aubrey O’Day) or “Attention-Seeking Personality Disorder” (See any D-List “Celebrity”), but you can call her attention-whore or fame-whore… It all works!

      • Hima

        Argh. I hate that diagnosis. Just like I hate the word hysterical. It is all associated with the idea that women parts make women crazy. Sorry, just have an issue with any negative words with the root “hystera.”

        That being said, “fame-whore” seems totally appropriate. :)

  12. Alicia

    Seems like she thought she wasn’t getting enough press lately and had to step it up a notch. Sad.

  13. Sylvia

    Someone is gunning for a top seed in Fug Madness.

  14. Sajorina

    1) A Drag Queen did her makeup & he is a PRO!
    2) I’m REALLY not interested in seeing anybody’s areola!
    3) Why did someone have to stab that dress to death?
    4) Black booties? With this Carnavale ensemble?
    5) Ugh………. FUG!!!!!!! I call Fug Madness Top Seed!

  15. Zulkey

    Yikes. Where’s a RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant when you need one to teach her about makeup blending?

  16. mwk

    It looks like a bunch of cut-offs that have been tacked together.

  17. Stplaz

    At very first glance I thought it was another “meat dress” like gaga’s.

  18. Vandalfan

    It seems to be a nice, normal halter top that she untied it behind her neck and tacked Righty’s strap to her left shoulder. This is very nice lace overlay on pink lining fabric, and the skirt is perfectly fine.

  19. Joemama

    “Stella Nina Mccartney! Have you been at it again?”
    “At what, again?” I ain’t done nothin’!”
    “Have you been slashing up dresses in the most unflattering way possible? AGAIN?”
    “NO MA’AM! That weren’t ME! I’da put some, what’sit, some fancy lace or somethin’ in those holes. I ain’t never even seen this dress. It weren’t me!”
    “Well, alright then. You are free to go.”

    Aaaannnd, SCENE.

    (Because for some reason I imagine Stella Mccartney speaking in an accent like the Catherine Tate character Lauren…)

  20. Maureen

    It doesn’t count unless you saw nipple.

  21. Trace

    Who is this girl??

  22. Elizabeth in SF

    Oh honey, no.

    I am more than willing to be her “Get A Grip Internet Acquaintance” if it will result in this not happening again.

  23. la di da

    She had to know that half her nipple was out. There’s no way lace fabric could be bisecting your nipple without you feeling it. I’m thinking this was definitely not an unauthorized near-nip, this is a plain old nip-show. Ick. There’s a time and place for letting your nipples be free, and anywhere in public is not it.

    • buttercup

      I concur. The fabric looks like it’s pulled over because it isn’t sitting the way it should. I call intention.

  24. Alicia

    *Near* nip? I think we can count areola as ACTUAL nip for slip purposes.

  25. Pamb

    I guess it’s been too long since my girls were up so high… I can’t figure out how her areola is positioned correctly! Doesn’t it look like her areola is too high… or is it just me?

  26. Memo

    Yikes, breasts should not sit so high on someone’s chest. That said, I wouldn’t MIND this dress if it wasn’t for that stupid cut out.

  27. Jane

    Her mother must be SO proud!

  28. Art Eclectic

    Check out the construction of this fine piece of apparel. Look closely at the stitching around the waist and on the piece tacked up at the shoulder. Total sewing class “creativity project.”

  29. Ladyblahblah

    I always wondered what the red carpet at the1947 Adult Movie Awards was like.

  30. Chris P

    Dear Adrienne,

    I swear to God we didn’t forget your fug from the beginning of the last Fug Madness cycle! (I was going to nominate you anyway!) But thanks for reminding us!

    This is definitely some dark-horse Phoebe Price-level fuggery, though. Except our girl Phoebs doesn’t leave the house anymore, and Adrienne hardly leaves it to begin with.

  31. Emma

    “Are my nipples concealed” is only the second most important question celebrities should ask themselves before hitting the red carpet. The first is “is this dress ugly?”