Nancy Fugvell/Fugiola Beracasa

Once we’d seen shredded ones and pairs with kneepads, I really thought there was nowhere else to go with leggings. I am so, so naive.  Why must I be such an innocent? But seriously, did you expect anyone to come up with THIS variant?

I’m sure Macca’s new lady-friend Nancy Shevell is a very nice woman, but she just willingly, knowingly went out in public wearing leggings that might be made out of Miss Piggy.

And she’s not the only one:


I am speechless. Apparently this is the week where I scream, “Really? There was NOTHING ELSE?” Because, listen, we’ve all had it happen where we stand in front of our open closet and pull out item after item, discarding them all as “too ugly” or “too blousy” or “too embarassing,” and wondering why the hell we have spent all this money on clothes when they are all AWFUL and HIDEOUS and MY ASS IS HUGE and WHY GOD WHY. But never, in all the times that has happened to me, have I solved the problem with a tank top, half a pair of Spanx, sequined leggings, and the head waiter’s jacket. I mean, it’s basically the business-casual version of that infamous spangled nude bodysuit Britney wore on MTV when she sang “Toxic.” Except Fabiola here is a socialite at a museum event, not writhing around humping a stage — well, as far as we know, since we weren’t there. Maybe she had an elaborate performance-art routine based on getting jiggy with a dinosaur skeleton. But I’m pretty sure one doesn’t wear a white blazer for that. Think of the stains.