My Fugshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard


Dear Lord,

Please let this mean that Kelis has been cast in a re-boot of Clarissa Explains It All. (Kelis Explains It All is VERY catchy.) I think America — and Canada! — needs that now more than ever.  And when Kelis begins to explain things, I hope the very first item on her list — the idea, by the way, of having a list titled “ALL” makes me happy/terrified — is, “WTF is going on with my ankles.”

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Comments (26):

  1. Lina
    0

    Yowch. It’s the combined worst of 1983, 84 & 85. Of all the fashion travesties of the last 30 years, why revive THESE??

  2. Sajorina
    0

    Two words… EW & NO!!!

    What is wrong with this woman? I just saw her as a judge on the last episode of “Top Chef Masters” because she happens to be a trained chef! Yeah! She looked absolutely fine and I barely recognized her; she was well dressed and her hair and makeup were well done, so why can’t she do that all the time?

  3. Bella
    0

    I don’t know who this is. Is it a man or a woman?

  4. foo
    0

    I thought the things on her ankles were Happy Bunny ankle scrunchies. ha. I liked the outfit a little better before I realized they weren’t. :(

  5. Willow
    0

    Velvet arm tights, beaded shin ribbons and a horseshoe belt buckle, JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

    This outfit is everything I never wanted.

  6. Jill
    0

    How did Kelis avoid Fug Madness? Has she ever been a contender? She doesn’t go out much, but when she does, she has the power to stand up to 6 Nicki Minaj’s.

  7. Willow
    0

    OMG! Where was she for Fug Madness? Remeber the pink latex catsuit with the hoof shoes, weird crown and grey braid that made her look like a shaved unicorn? It was diabolical and would have made her a contender on its own :|

  8. Jill
    0

    You should have SEEN what she wore on Top Chef Masters last night. EXCRUCIATING.

  9. Willow
    0

    Oh bugger, I just looked the Shaved Unicorn Outfit was worn in january 2010 so wouldn’t have qualified this year.

  10. Geemee
    0

    iCan’t.

  11. vandalfan
    0

    Huh? This makes me tip my head like RCA’s His Master’s Voice dog. The contestants on RuPauls’ Drag Race looked more feminine than this individual.

  12. Amy
    0

    I think she’s jealous of Niki Minaj’s success and is trying to horn in on some of the action. What an eyesore!

  13. corriner
    0

    Thank you for mentioning Canada! We’re just as addicted to Fug Madness as our Southern friends! :)

  14. kate
    0

    it looks like cute pink plastic explosives strapped to her ankles.

  15. Kate
    0

    Ummm….@Jill, why was KELIS on Top Chef Masters???

  16. yeahandalso
    0

    how was she not in fug madness? next year bring it

  17. BAnjeeB
    0

    No…just…no

  18. Jael Paris
    0

    All of your Kelis posts are titled after the same song. She has other songs. I recommend “Bossy” because it’s sort of hilarious.

  19. K.
    0

    @Kate: apparently she’s a trained chef. She was judging the quickfire. I think the chefs thought she was bullshit, though.

  20. Chris
    0

    Dear Kelis:

    As I told Solange, PLEASE GO OUT MORE OFTEN. We need you to show all them fakers (Gaga, Minaj, et. al.) HOW IT’S DONE.

    Also, I loved you since “Caught Out There.” Especially the fried blonde/pink hairdo from that video.

  21. Anne B
    0

    I really, reeeeaaallly wanted those to be tiny pink animals strapped to her ankles. They are not, and I’m lost on a vast dark sea of disappointment.

  22. Caitlin
    0

    Yikes. I thought this was Ms J from America’s Next Top Model — and somehow that was less frightening.

  23. Floortje
    0

    For a second there, I thought this was Miss J.

  24. marshmallory
    0

    …is it weird that I kind of like this? Minus whatever is going on at the ankles, of course. Other than that, I’d probably rock this whole ensemble. #aintscared

  25. amy t.
    0

    Um… I was wondering why this had the title it has, because I totally thought that was Miss Jay Alexander from ANTM. True story.

  26. Chris
    0

    It probably IS Miss J.

    I mean, think about it – have you EVER seen Kelis and Miss J in the same place at the same time?