My Fugshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard

Dear Lord,

Please let this mean that Kelis has been cast in a re-boot of Clarissa Explains It All. (Kelis Explains It All is VERY catchy.) I think America — and Canada! — needs that now more than ever.  And when Kelis begins to explain things, I hope the very first item on her list — the idea, by the way, of having a list titled “ALL” makes me happy/terrified — is, “WTF is going on with my ankles.”

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Comments (26):

  1. Lina

    Yowch. It’s the combined worst of 1983, 84 & 85. Of all the fashion travesties of the last 30 years, why revive THESE??

  2. Sajorina

    Two words… EW & NO!!!

    What is wrong with this woman? I just saw her as a judge on the last episode of “Top Chef Masters” because she happens to be a trained chef! Yeah! She looked absolutely fine and I barely recognized her; she was well dressed and her hair and makeup were well done, so why can’t she do that all the time?

  3. Bella

    I don’t know who this is. Is it a man or a woman?

  4. foo

    I thought the things on her ankles were Happy Bunny ankle scrunchies. ha. I liked the outfit a little better before I realized they weren’t. :(

  5. Willow

    Velvet arm tights, beaded shin ribbons and a horseshoe belt buckle, JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

    This outfit is everything I never wanted.

  6. Jill

    How did Kelis avoid Fug Madness? Has she ever been a contender? She doesn’t go out much, but when she does, she has the power to stand up to 6 Nicki Minaj’s.

  7. Willow

    OMG! Where was she for Fug Madness? Remeber the pink latex catsuit with the hoof shoes, weird crown and grey braid that made her look like a shaved unicorn? It was diabolical and would have made her a contender on its own :|

  8. Jill

    You should have SEEN what she wore on Top Chef Masters last night. EXCRUCIATING.

  9. Willow

    Oh bugger, I just looked the Shaved Unicorn Outfit was worn in january 2010 so wouldn’t have qualified this year.

  10. Geemee


  11. vandalfan

    Huh? This makes me tip my head like RCA’s His Master’s Voice dog. The contestants on RuPauls’ Drag Race looked more feminine than this individual.

  12. Amy

    I think she’s jealous of Niki Minaj’s success and is trying to horn in on some of the action. What an eyesore!

  13. corriner

    Thank you for mentioning Canada! We’re just as addicted to Fug Madness as our Southern friends! :)

  14. kate

    it looks like cute pink plastic explosives strapped to her ankles.

  15. Kate

    Ummm….@Jill, why was KELIS on Top Chef Masters???

  16. yeahandalso

    how was she not in fug madness? next year bring it

  17. BAnjeeB


  18. Jael Paris

    All of your Kelis posts are titled after the same song. She has other songs. I recommend “Bossy” because it’s sort of hilarious.

  19. K.

    @Kate: apparently she’s a trained chef. She was judging the quickfire. I think the chefs thought she was bullshit, though.

  20. Chris

    Dear Kelis:

    As I told Solange, PLEASE GO OUT MORE OFTEN. We need you to show all them fakers (Gaga, Minaj, et. al.) HOW IT’S DONE.

    Also, I loved you since “Caught Out There.” Especially the fried blonde/pink hairdo from that video.

  21. Anne B

    I really, reeeeaaallly wanted those to be tiny pink animals strapped to her ankles. They are not, and I’m lost on a vast dark sea of disappointment.

  22. Caitlin

    Yikes. I thought this was Ms J from America’s Next Top Model — and somehow that was less frightening.

  23. Floortje

    For a second there, I thought this was Miss J.

  24. marshmallory

    …is it weird that I kind of like this? Minus whatever is going on at the ankles, of course. Other than that, I’d probably rock this whole ensemble. #aintscared

  25. amy t.

    Um… I was wondering why this had the title it has, because I totally thought that was Miss Jay Alexander from ANTM. True story.

  26. Chris

    It probably IS Miss J.

    I mean, think about it – have you EVER seen Kelis and Miss J in the same place at the same time?