KATY PERRY: Hee! Get it? I’m married now! So this ticket only admits one person!
RUSSELL BRAND: And I am that one.
KATY: Whee!
RUSSELL: I am the touched soul granted entrance to the Pleasuredome. I have ripped my ticket and from it exploded my glee.
KATY: Right!
RUSSELL: I walked among mortals once, but now with passage into the vaunted kingdom of flesh, I am demi-god.
KATY: Uh-huh. Sure. Are we done?
RUSSELL: I have the card-key that lifts the bar to the parking garage.
KATY: So, what, you think my dress is kind of dumb, is that what this is about?
RUSSELL: My wand is brandished and willing, waiting only for me to claim my place at Lovewarts School of Magic.
KATY: “Lovewarts”!?!?? Did you think about that one before you said it out loud?
RUSSELL: My ticket comes with backstage access.
KATY: Okay, okay, THAT’S ENOUGH, we’re going inside and I am changing.
