I’m not sure Kirsten Dunst has ever looked non-cracked out at the Met Ball. Remember her wacky flapper outfit? Or her bad pseudo-Mirren? Or Boots McWhat? Or, most recently, Dirty Dancing: Baja Fresh?

So I was understandably torn when she walked the carpet in this:

Part of me applauded that she looked like a fancy-dress aviatrix, or an actress in a straight-to-the-film-shelf noir, The Beltese Falcon, in which Bogart returns to hunt down treasure hidden in a famous accessory. But the rest of me, perhaps with a small amount of head-hanging and lip-chewing, thinks she might look great in it and that if SWINTON wore it we’d be applauding until our palms chapped. Please tell me which part to listen to, Fug Nation, because I’m tired of hearing myself yap.

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[Photo: Getty]