Met Ball Fug Carpet: Zooey Deschanel


It’s not even that I don’t LIKE this, necessarily…

… just that, what party did anyone think this WAS? I get that it’s Tommy Hilfiger, and he’s the baron of preppy yachting-chic attire, but the Met Ball is not on a boat. It’s not even boat-adjacent, unless you count everything going on at the piers on the West side of Manhattan, which surely Anna Wintour does not. It’s also not on a beach, at the Hamptons, at someone’s back patio wedding, or in a Land’s End formalwear catalog. So punk theme or not, I’m a little confused about lavender seersucker at the Met Ball, period. I’m ALSO really not sure what I think about ZD without her signature bangs — something that I’m sure she feels a little stuck with now, as most people do with things that inadvertently became their signatures (see also: The Rachel, and possibly Tom Selleck or Victor Newman and their ‘staches) — so let’s just vote on all of it even though I’m vehement in my conclusion that this dress REALLY does not belong here. VEHEMENT, I TELL YOU.

First, dress:

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Then bangs:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (58):

  1.  Corriner
    +7

    I wish there was a ‘I only kind of like this’ option, because…. please someone hem this!

  2. LoriK
    +25

    If you hadn’t told me who this was I never would have guessed. I also would never have guessed that getting rid of the bangs would make that much of a difference. She looks far less twee and annoying without them.

    • Helen
      +3

      I think she looks like Bebe Neuwirth without them.

      This is a good thing. But IMO the bangs do suit her, too.

    • Courtney
      +11

      Same here, I did not recognize her at all. Even after reading the title, I thought for sure it was a mistake. Is she wearing less eye makeup as well? Even though I hate the dress, I think she looks very pretty

      She’s always pretty costumey to begin with though, so I’m kind of getting the vibe that she did this so she could still stand out among everyone else who did go all out with their punk inspired outfits. Which I guess is punk of her, but mostly it’s just kind of needy. Why does she always have to be so special? This is why she has haters. Just play along once in a while, Zooey. It’s not all about you.

    • A.J.
      +5

      Had no idea who that was. Kept looking, still unsure who that was. She looks older in that pic. Sorry, Zooey.

    • lilywise
      +2

      I love that her bangs are not dripping into her eyes. Above all I love that SHE IS HOLDING HER HEAD STRAIGHT.
      I do think she looks older without the bangs, but that’s a good thing. She doesn’t look so desperately girlish or twee or head-tilty. It’s ok to be a grown-up, Zooey.

    • Alice
      +3

      I keep scrolling back up to make sure I/TFG didn’t make some sort of mistake in identifying this person. This person does not in any way match up with who I see as Zooey. My brain is confused by it. However, I think it also has to do with the fact that she seems to be in the middle of talking in this picture, instead of her normal smile. I just completely forgot how long her face is without bangs. It looks lovely, though!

  3. Jessica
    +1

    I guess…it’s…80s?

  4. Mina
    +11

    Did she get lost on the way home from the Kentucky Derby?

  5. Mary
    +4

    Wow… That doesn’t even look like her. I literally googled met ball pics to see if that was someone else. No punk in that dress. Pretty dress but wrong theme. As Heather said… not even boat-adjacent.

  6. Kelsey
    +6

    what has she DONE to herself to make her this unrecognizable? is it something she does to herself on a regular basis or…? i’m at a loss as to how this is the same zooey d. i have always been looking at.

  7. Noreen
    +6

    Are you sure that’s Zooey? It doesn’t look like her AT ALL.

  8. JennH
    +16

    I put my finger over her forehead and STILL don’t believe this is her. This is a Jennifer Grey level of transformation.

    • Squirrel!
      +1

      After clicking on the link Jessica provided, I was just about to say the very same thing about putting my finger over Zooey’s forehead, but by golly, your comment was the next thing I saw! It’s like you read my mind.

      • Edith
        0

        I think it’s that she also did her eye makeup very differently?

        • cc
          +1

          If you look at other pictures of her, its more obvious that her face makeup is reallllly super pale, I feel like that’s a big contributor to making her look different.

          • Edith
            +1

            She usually has a heavy brow, thick eyeliner on top lid, false eyelash thing going, right? And all that is missing here. It’s kind of an amazing transformation. If only it hadn’t been in service of a Hilfiger seersucker misfire.

  9. Sarah
    +10

    I see the label, but I can’t seem to make my brain see Zooey in this person. Isn’t her face rounder? Isn’t her posture entirely different? That doesn’t even look like her sister. I’m so confused.

  10. Helen
    +1

    It does need hemming, Corriner’s right, but I like this, I like it on her, and I like it anywhere. Hey, if you’re going to not go with a theme, at least wear something pretty, right?

    I don’t like the cutesy clutch though, or the colored-paper Wite-Out nail polish.

  11. Mary
    +4

    wow. no bangs, dark tights OR head tilt and hunch? good lord, she looks like an adult! I suppose if you’re going to do something major with your look, do it at a major event?

    anyway, she looks way older this way (possibly make-up related), and it’s going to take a little while to adjust. i hope she sticks with it, though, so we have time to move from knee jerk to thoughtful!

  12. RebeccaAnd
    0

    Zooey Deschanel is the Talking Heads of punk.

  13. ringthing
    +4

    I am glad to see her take a break from the bangs since she must get tired of them, but I’m sad that Zooey failed to embrace the Punk theme, because she could have looked so great. I can just see her in some ripped fishnets and a studded collar. You’d think that all these actresses would have had fun creating a character for the occasion and dressing accordingly.Seems like a missed opportunity.

  14. Tiffany
    +3

    Did I call it when her InStyle cover came out and I said she was trying to un-quirk-ify herself? This is the next step. I feel like her forehead must be saying “Sweet Freedom!!!” as it finally gets to feel the breeze.

  15. Kat
    +3

    I mostly like this because there are no black tights (visible anyways, it wouldn’t surprise me if she had them on under the dress).

    I just can’t believe that so many people completely missed the whole punk thing so completely, I would’ve thought it was an easy theme. I suppose it’s easy to go down the very literal tartan/chains/spikes route, but Madonna did and no one ragged on her for it

  16. ortenzia
    0

    so is not having bangs her idea of being punk because it’s so anti-zd-image? she’s requiring a lot of thought for us to get her to punk. fail.

    it’s too bad because new girl is sooo good right now and i feel like she could have offered way more than this. especially when kirsten dunst and the other ingenue ladies were rocking it.

  17. mepe
    0

    Seriously!? That’s your review of this outfit. If there was any take away from last night’s event it was that Punk was the theme of the event but definitely not the theme of most of the attendee’s attire. Half the women put on an earcuff (or nose ring) and called it punk. In the same vein Zooey here put a safety pin on her clutch as her nod to punk. But she looks fine – though I do miss the fringe. And I think this would be a great dress for an East Coast beach wedding.

  18. maryse
    0

    so she was on Live with Kelly and Michael — with the bangs but no black tights — and she said she wore this dress on purpose. i guess to be anti-punk? anyway, i think she looks lovely, but yeah weird without the bangs.

  19. Cat
    +1

    I know it’s been verified as Zooey, but wow… without the bangs I don’t recognize her at all. I actually think the dress is cute, but totally totally wrong for the Met Ball.

  20. amys
    +3

    Her forehead has been liberated. Breathe forehead, breathe!

  21. Candice
    +2

    BANGS BE GONE. She looks so twee and too cutesy with them. She’s 33, which isn’t old at all, but like… I think the mature hair is better.

  22. Stefanie
    0

    It reminds me of an episode of Say Yes to The Dress. A bride ordered a seersucker dress. It looked alot like this.

  23. Julia
    0

    I never would have recognized her. Wow. And like everyone else… the dress does not belong at this Met Ball. But neither did most of the rest of the dresses there, so…

  24. Loramir
    0

    Maybe she got the Met Ball confused with Derby Day? I didn’t even recognize her without the bangs and tights.

  25. Bailey
    +8

    Saying ‘it’s so anti-punk it’s punk’ is like giving credit to the guy who shows up at your door on halloween in normal clothes and says ‘haha I went as myself.”

  26. Nina
    +1

    I thought that was Moira Kelly at first. Had no idea it was Zooey.

    That dress is like a blank canvas, and it desperately needs something, but I can’t put my finger on what. Color? Texture?

  27. Rachel
    +2

    No seersucker before Memorial Day!

  28. Spider
    0

    I thought this was Vera Farmiga, or some as-yet-unknown Farmiga sister.

    • Spider
      +2

      Looking at her face in closeup, I’m still having a hard time believing this is Zooey Deschanel! Her face looks completely different. Imma need to see a DNA sample or something…

  29. Kara K
    +1

    Man, I just got bangs (after six months of wanting to get them), one reason for this desire was that the girls on New Girl had cute bangs, and now she’s grown/growing them out?

    I was always into her now, I guess former look and it basically would have suited the punk theme better than what she’s doing now. This is decidedly unpunk.

  30. june
    +2

    the theme was ‘punk’. most people had a half-hearted, let’s-add-some-dark-nail-polish-and-dark-eyeliner look, but this isn’t even trying to be in the same ballpark as punk. it’s not even in the same country.

  31. Lori
    +1

    I just can’t get over how different she looks without the bangs.

  32. Gigi
    0

    Does anyone else remember the ‘punk-prep connection’ mentioned in 1980′s The Preppy Handbook. Full circle. Golf clap, Zooey. Well done. Maybe I woulda added some of those ridiculous, narrow sunglasses with corner wings or the bigger ones with built-in plantation shutters, for tiny nod to AW’s theme.

    Madonna for the win, though.

  33. Christina
    +1

    The words Seersucker and Ballgown should never be in the same sentence let alone the same dress!

  34. CC
    0

    I didn’t even recognize her. I thought perhaps the label at the top was a mistake until I started reading! Amazing how a little bit of forehead can make such a huge difference.

    I actually love this dress, and it fits really well, but it’s more garden party than Met Ball, even if the theme were different. She gave a nod to the theme with the purse, but it seemed an afterthought and didn’t really go with the dress.

  35. Jenz
    0

    I completely didn’t recognize her…

  36. Shanti
    +2

    Forget the bangs…I didn’t recognize her without that patented glassy-eyed marionette pose!