MESSY Monday Giveaway

We are so stoked about this giveaway.  As we mentioned in our 10,000th post, Heather and I have a new book coming out (so if you’ve been meaning to pick up the first one, Spoiled, now is a good time). The great Mindy Kaling blurbed it, and everything. We are excited:

It’s called Messy, it’s a follow-up to Spoiled (with all the usual suspects present and accounted for — Brooke, Molly, Teddy, and, obviously, Brick Berlin, given that he’s never met a sequel in which he didn’t feel the need to star), and it comes out June 5th, 2012, just in time for y’all to read it by the pool accompanied by a be-umbrellaed beverage. What is it about? Let’s take a squizz at the back cover:

Now that Brooke’s caught a taste of fame and her movie star father’s attention, she wants to launch a blog that will position her as the ultimate Hollywood insider. But between schoolwork, party-planning committee meetings, and spa treatments, she hardly has the time to write it herself…
Enter Max McCormack, an aspiring author with a terrible after-school job pushing faux meat on the macrobiotic masses of La-La Land. Max reluctantly agrees to play Brooke’s ghost-blogger for an impressive salary, and the site takes off, but how long can their lie last? In person, Brooke can’t live up to the intellectual wit of, and Max soon begins to resent hiding her genius behind a bandage dress-wearing blonde. Can the girls work together to stay on top, or will the truth come out and ruin everything they’ve built?
You will have to buy the book to find out… unless, of course, you win this giveaway. Heather and I are giving away three (3) Advanced Reading Copies this week! (You’ll even get the original cover.)
THE TASK: Please compose an acrostic of the word MESSY — as a reminder, an acrostic is a poem in which the first letter of each line spells a word when read vertically, in this case, MESSY (so the first letter of the first line would be an M). The subject of your poem is the Hollywood star who has, in your opinion, the messiest closet/personal life/car/yacht/career. Extra points for originality (in other words, unless the 75th poem about Lindsay Lohan is really, really tremendous, it will probably not win).

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on THURSDAY NIGHT. This contest is open to ALL READERS. If I have to mail this thing to Siberia, I will.

THE PRIZE: I just told you, dude. An ARC of Messy. Autographed and everything!

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Comments (195):

  1. Jenn S.

    Marilyn Monroe was a star known for being
    Exotic, beautiful and
    Sexy; but the truth of her life was
    Sad and tragic. Norma Jean was too
    Young to go.

    My first acrostic and my first time entering one of these contests! I loved “Spoiled” and I love you guys!

  2. Gigi

    You know?

  3. Kristina


    Yeah this is hard. But I cannot wait to read this book. Can one enter/post multiple times?

  4. Monica

    Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen wear so many clothes.
    Each day’s layers contain enough clothes to stock a small boutique; it’s a
    Shame that nothing fits properly.
    Stars in their childhood, long ago.
    Yet now, merely walking clothing racks.

  5. Adriana

    Madre Mia! This chica cannot be single
    Especially around dancers, young and nimble
    So lovers, now come and behold as
    She showers the random boy with toys
    You said wedding date come next fall?

  6. Jenna

    Matthew McConaughey
    Everyone loves you, but you’re
    You know it’s true

  7. Jen

    Miss Jennifer A once had it all
    Enter a siren, big lipped and tall
    She seduced Jen’s hubby, and he soon split
    String of men followed – none a good fit
    You’d never guess our “Friend” would so easily fall!

  8. Sarah P

    My heart goes out to the daughter of Paul
    Every sartorially confused Brit’s one-time
    Stella M.
    You can’t even dress yourself!

  9. katiecoops

    Methinks that Katie Cruise -
    Especially due to the craziness that is
    Scientology – has a
    Severely messy life.
    You’ve seen her overalls, right?

  10. Caitlin


  11. TonyG

    Mr. Heterosexual Male movie goer who
    Encourages his schtick, please
    Stop seeing Adam Sandler movies
    So oblivion can befall this no talent prick.
    Yes, his Neanderthal leanings make me sick.

    • Amber

      I 2nd this plea. Please, please, people, for the love of all that is good, STOP Adam Sandler.

  12. Adriele

    My favorites of the
    Soliel Moon Frye and
    Scott Baio
    Yes, I said Scott Baio.

  13. emily

    Miss Kim K’s marriage
    So sad & covered in flour
    Society wonders,

  14. Jessica

    Making so many “Client Lists,”
    Ex-boyfriends, and bad advice books
    Scarred J. Lo Hew, once so dazzling.
    She wraps her mess up in bandage dress–
    Yikes, watch out for vagazzling.

  15. Jaybee

    Mischa, my dear
    Even though you were best friends for years
    Summer alone can’t pull you out of the fashion muck, lo she wore
    Shorts of the formal variety, wading into the fore.
    Your rescue was too much for one woman.

  16. Big Hungry Shelby

    Messes abound in Posh’s wardrobe
    Even though you’d nary suspect this atrocity
    She’s terribly busy with Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper, you know
    She may even harbor refugees off the rack, but
    You’ll never know for sure

  17. Amanda

    Madness abounds in the Cruise abode because
    Everything is WRONG, WRONG! If
    Suri could only unleash her inner firestarter, then those
    Sickening fashions could burn like her Book. Holmes and
    Yang? You’re going down.

  18. Ann

    Maverick needs a life coach
    Essentially… he’s gone bonkers
    Sofa jumping?
    Yikes, Joey, run away!

    *insert image of Dawson crying here*

  19. Dazie

    Macaulay Culkin, child talent
    Ever typecast, remains silent.
    Shuns more blockbusters, is this bliss?
    Saved!, Kings, Mila Kunis,
    Young star’s career, can it be saved?

  20. Kat

    Musical queen Hudgens
    Emerged with the fug crown.
    She fought off real monsters, with her lacy pants brown.
    So come greet your kingdom, please don’t be shy, but
    You must change your pants, or Fug Nation will cry.

  21. lakefed

    strawberries –

  22. Siobhan!

    Mop-top of tightly cropped corn-silk
    Endearing tom-boy aesthetic that is
    So adorably five
    Shiloh, I am incredibly jealous of
    Your wardrobe and your life

  23. Kimberly

    My fair lady Kim K
    Earns more in a minute than I can
    Spend in a day.
    Shame on consumers for buying her bloomers,
    You must ignore her if you want her to go away.

  24. Kristina

    My mother would recount this one saga
    Every night as she cooked by the Aga:
    Sweet young girls don’t wear meat,
    Shoes like hooves on their feet
    Yes, there can only be one Lady Gaga


    My mother would tell me this tale
    Every day while out sorting the mail:
    Stay the fuck out of his frame
    Such is the harsh price of his fame:
    You’ve no idea how hard it is for Chris Bale

    RANDOM. I will know I’ve succeeded if I manage to write something coherent about Thomas Jane.

  25. coexxi

    Meet a pantless fugger
    Extraordinaire and orange
    Some hot mess
    She is indeed
    Yodel out to Christina!

  26. Kristina

    My best efforts put straight to the test
    Eking out something coherent at best
    Still it’s more than he’s got
    Such a waste of what’s hot
    Yo, T. Jane, why you such a damn mess?

    I will stop now. I have a job and I should do it at some point today.

  27. Donna

    Not quite finished on my acrostic, but Fug Girls, will you be having an actual site? You totally should!

  28. northoferie

    Model/actor/singer/starlet cast in
    Erotically charged cyber-thriller
    Starring men with chiselled abs and all involved are
    Scantily clad in a manner that makes Erin Wasson look like
    Your grandmother

  29. Anissa

    Makes you wonder who will be the next hot mess?
    Evasive of now but
    Soon to hit us like a ton of Gaga’s..
    She is the future of fug!
    Yes she’s learned from the likes of Lilo, Ke$ha, MIA, Nicki and more, so watch out world!

  30. coexxi

    My name is LeAnn
    Ever since I met
    Squinty the Other
    Skimpy Bikinis rule
    Your twitter is in tatters

  31. cab

    every single time I walk into your room
    sh*t is just tossed about
    sunglasses, tattoo ointment, red bull, and fishnets
    you best clean up your act girl or you’re out of here!!!”
    -Tish Cyrus on an extra rough Monday morning

  32. blizzybee

    Madge, Queen of:
    Everything but “twue wuv”.
    So many naked, waxed boys-
    So little of life’s other joys!
    Yet you won’t give up your crown for Gaga’s hoof-footed ploys.

  33. Breenah

    Misha Barton is so sad
    Everything she wears is just so bad
    Sometimes I wonder what she’s thinking
    Sometimes I wonder if she’s been drinking
    You know, it bothers me more than it should

  34. coexxi

    More glitter for your hoohah
    Even hapless dependent clients
    Should be listed as happy
    So good luck for Love
    Yo-Yo is no joke

  35. Serena

    Empire is built on an image of domestic perfection.
    So few would guess the embarrassing mess that is my
    Sterling thimble collection. Stay mum about my scam and you’ll forever be in my affection.
    Yours truly, Martha S.

  36. O

    Ode to Pamela Anderson

    Magician Hans Klok couldn’t banish her woes
    Even with Kid Rock, it kept coming to blows
    Slippery Rick Salomon was not meant to be
    She did learn a lesson from old Tommy Lee:
    Yesterday’s love is today’s hepatitis C

  37. foo

    Mickey may be so fine, but Nicki can bust a rhyme
    Each fashion choice in your face, loud as her
    Super Bass, Boom badda doom
    Spelled pastel Muppet hell,
    Your foes you have slayed; notched in wig inches raised

  38. The Fatling

    Morphing seamlessly from role to role
    Eliminates Tilda’s time to style and coif
    SWINTON cares not for makeup
    SWINTON cares not for the mortal realm
    Yes, androgyny is the couture of the gods

  39. Donna

    Maybe you’re just having a bad hair day
    Even though I fear that ‘do is here to stay
    So what if you leave the house
    Sweaty and maybe stoned as can be
    You’ll always be my favorite hot mess, Chloe Sevigny

  40. Jamie

    Much like Monica’s secret closet, wherein hides Richard
    Every fellow obsessive compulsive hides a
    Secret stash of junk and employees.
    So in there I keep pink Himalayan sea salt, ghost writers, and a yoga instructor.
    You think anyone will notice that Mario Batali broke into my cleanse while locked inside?

  41. Liz C.

    More time in court than a bailiff
    Even the paparazzi yawn when you exit a club
    Sorry, Lilo, you’re twice as messed up as Brooke Berlin is
    Spoiled but
    Your downward spiral isn’t fiction.

  42. Oblaadee

    Muy Bien my Lovers!
    Excited about my new young hombre, no?
    Sassy points if you can guess who I am.
    Si mi amigos
    Yo, back to Mi Vida Loca

  43. Kara K


  44. Kaitlyn

    March — I mean Fug — Madness
    Exemplified the sweet fashion badness
    So common, from Ashanti to Wasikowska
    So as the Spoiled kids might go,
    Y pick just 1? Like, you know?

  45. Sieglinde

    Meshugunahs, you
    Ecru faced celebutés!
    So close yet
    Se vigny. Too bad
    You all can’t win fug madness every day.

  46. Lexacat

    Miss Sevigny,
    Extraordinary, isn’t it, how an Aryan from Darien
    Succeeds in becoming famous for
    Sucking Vincent Gallo.
    Your parents must be so proud!

  47. Amalia

    My fond memories of “But I’m a Cheerleader!”
    Earn you a spot in my heart.
    Seems like you’re turning it around, Natasha,
    Sounds like your theater career’s taking off.
    Yet I would still not sublet to you. Sorry.

  48. Jerika Coleman

    Maria de la Paz Elizabeth Sofia Adriana de la Huerta is her given name
    Everyone knows her from the Boardwalk
    Sort of well-playedish is the best she’s ever going to get
    Somehow, she has yet to win Fug Madness
    You don’t want to know what she smells like.

  49. Danielle

    Musical talent completely forgotten when
    Eddie Whathisface came into the picture.
    Snuggies, hankies and bikinis covering a too-petite frame.
    Save yourself, LeAnn, from this path of hot-messdom.
    Your first step is to eat a sandwich.

  50. Amber

    Mr. Clooney’s closet: so full!
    Endless gowns of girlfriends past;
    Silk and lace, in colors so dull
    So, is that why these “relationships” don’t last?
    Young love is over-rated; Call me, George-no one will ever have to know we dated!

  51. Piper

    Muscles bulging grotesquely.
    Eyeliner supreme.
    Supervillian eyebrows.
    So we’re clear, Carrot Top…
    You scare me.

  52. The Other Molly

    Miley’s car…
    Egg McMuffin wrappers here and there
    Slurpee cups with half dried crud in them
    Slim Jim wrappers stuck to the dash
    Yoohoo chocolate drink bottles that smell of curdled milk

  53. EM

    Everything doesn’t need neon and
    Swirls and glitter. Multicolored wigs and
    Schtickiness. But mirrored shoulder pads?
    Yeah, you can keep those.

  54. TonyG

    Mama’s known simply as Judy, but
    Even Liza knows
    She’s matched mama, drama for drama,
    Sharing her bed with a G(u)est who’s gay
    Yelping, ever more, that life is a cabaret

  55. Emily

    Say Yay! When Kanye
    Y Does he have to speak and ruin it?

  56. Adriana

    Mapother gets what Mapother wants
    Eighties rock star? Bring the AutoTune!
    So wife takes a (um) break from the craft
    Suri complains from pain in the arch
    Yes Tommy, Xenu will make it better.

  57. Lia

    Methinks the messiest celebrity much be a Peldon.
    Everybody knows Courtney was once the Patron Saint of Fug.
    Such a messy life she leads,
    She has been trapped in her closet since early 2008.
    Yea, she is buried ‘neath piles of sequins, too-small tees, and not much else.

  58. Annar

    Messy, you say? Who comes to mind? This chick that I’ve chosen looks like she’s been dressed by the blind.
    Eccentric and quirky! Maybe charmless and smirky?
    Skin-tight and perky! Or just plain fugly and jerky?
    She didn’t make it in Fug Madness this year, a fact which I won’t even attempt to go near.
    You got it yet? I’ll let you in: Star’s with a K, and ends with an Im.

  59. Claire L

    Mayim Bialik a flower
    Entertaining and witty still
    Smart and full of mama power
    So please do my will
    You need not be fashionably restrained

  60. :paula

    Mad eyes
    Evil leer
    Staggeringly bad roles:
    Says Nic Cage,
    “You know I only buy all those castles and stuff to compensate for my hair. What the hell, hair? Why do you look like that?”

  61. Nick

    Even I, your biggest fan
    See that you, Christina Hendricks
    Should really find yourself a stylist

  62. Kathryn


  63. The Pantless Wonder

    My closet has not been designed by a vampire
    Exactly how I will find my newest Balencia, I have no idea.
    Super miniskirts keep getting lost and all my Converse are mis-matched.
    Snow White’s dwarves couldn’t undo this amount of clutter.
    Youth and beauty? Such a burden. Maybe that’s why I’m so awkward.

  64. Amanda W.

    My eyes are burning, the reigning queen of Fuggery
    Emblazoned in my mind, a haggard hot mess
    She dresses without class
    Such a cute kid; unsure what went wrong
    You guessed it–she is Lindsay Lohan.

  65. Alison

    M issing Twitter attention
    E ven Amanda Bynes
    S toops to the usual
    S henanigans of Hollywood
    Y oung ladies.

  66. Orange Clouds

    Mr Downey

  67. Rain

    Oh, I love these reading these entries. Fug nation is brilliant. Here are my attempts to keep up with the smart kids.

    Meritorious? Medicated?
    Elegantly (and obviously) vajazzled
    Sylphlike and
    Yet oddly forgettable

    My darling, oh my dear
    Easter has come here
    Silver tights you have spun
    Shiny awards you have won
    Yet everything you wear is entirely too sheer

    Meat dresses are passe
    Elbow pads have had their day
    Silver selvage on your a**
    Shirtwaist bloomers made of grass
    Yes! School uniforms! Hooray!

  68. ClaireL

    My God woman, put down the Cheetos
    Every time I remember you when you were bald, bashing a car and
    Staring at the world with sad-panda mascara-ringed eyes, I yearn for the days of your
    Schoolgirl uniform. At least you looked fresh and free of
    Yeast infections back then. Yeesh.

  69. Sarah P

    Methinks the sparkling closet on her
    Episode of cribs in 2002 was fake.
    Someone so frequently without pants
    Surely can’t be that organized.
    You know Dem Babies haven’t made it any easier.

  70. Kate

    Messiest star in Hollywood land?
    Easy. Russell Brand.
    Sexy beast with a plunging neckline beckoning the ladies in,
    So first it was love, and then came marriage,
    Yes, I’m seriously glad they didn’t make it to the baby carriage.

  71. LMG

    Macaulay Culkin, child actor
    Emancipated. Jackson factor?
    Since ‘Home Alone’ he seemed to fade, but
    ‘Saved!”…public opinion swayed
    You’re My Girl’s guy to me

  72. Anne

    May your jumpsuits stay
    Egregious, your dresses,
    Slinky (at best), your songs,
    Sultry. But dear god, Rihanna, may you dump that
    Yipping yellow-bellied yahoo!

  73. Kim Farrell

    (Kim Kardashian poem.. Hey, we share a name!)

    Mind-numbing starlet, on a Pinterest ‘bookmarklet’
    Ever so sassy, pretends to be classy, but we all know she’s a harlot
    She married a player, who now says he hates her, & she is a media target.
    Sad but it’s true, if she’ll be eating for two, Kanye West will have to jump it…
    Yes she is sad, hopefully only a fad, but I guess she’s our little strumpet!

    And ‘strumpet’ is a word! :)

  74. Eric T

    Sunflower hats

  75. Michelle

    Martin’s fair lady Gywneth, who,
    Even as she “wears” Stella McFugney, continues to
    Shimmy and sashay her detoxed
    Sylphlike frame down the red carpets. But don’t
    You wonder why it didn’t all stop with GOOP?

  76. Sarah

    Miley makes music as a post-Disney princess
    Everything isn’t broken, but it
    Sure is
    Yahoo? Yowza? Or Yikes!

  77. Michelle

    Miss Lemon Breeland, you do
    Exhaust me with your delightfully anachronistic wardrobe. I think that
    Scott Porter must be going mad,
    Surely, acting face-to-face with your sartorial smorgasbord. Although, kudos to you Lemon,
    You are never under the influence of leather formal shorts.

  78. KatKenSea

    “Major swamp ass,” Jess said it herself.
    Expelling gas 225 times daily would kill an elf.
    Skittles-eating vaginas — you know that ain’t clean.
    Simpson’s a winner, she’s a mess-lover’s dream.
    Yes, and also she said when her water breaks it’s going to be like a fire hydrant, and you don’t have to rhyme that when you’re writing a poem because it’s nuts and she said it on Kimmel.

  79. Connie

    Eight times to
    Seven different women.
    Serial matrimony!
    Yikes, Larry!

  80. dreamz

    Met ye fug girl Jessica through recaps on TWOP
    Evermore was my life changed
    Shameful clothing viewed with equal loathing and love
    Should I now mention Pacey?

  81. Connie

    Does a posthumous acrostic qualify?

    Magnificent screen legend, but…..
    Eight marriages to
    Seven different men, Elizabeth,
    Seemed an excess of

  82. Molly

    M ajestic bell bottoms of
    E gregious lace, Vanessa you
    S tarlet o ‘Disney, you
    S artorial slave,
    Y ou’re wonderful,
    never change.

  83. Michelle B.

    Expresses herself via
    Snow-cone bras and
    Sorta-maybe sexy younger men.

    Mel Gibson and Bad Choices:
    Speeches AND
    Singing Detective?
    Yeah… no.

    Ms. Jennifer Lopez:
    Excessive cleavage and ass!
    Sartorially-speaking – so much class!
    Sorry, lovers, obviously I’m kidding.
    You’ll see what I mean with her next wedding.

  84. Amanda F.

    Mrs. Hendricks, red hair like a dream
    Even from outer space thy breasts can be seen
    Such fair-skinned beauty overshadowed by
    Some incredibly poor cleavage choices; many losses and very few wins
    Yield to our plea: one’s breasts should not touch one’s chin.

  85. Connie

    Madonna, Momsen, Mischa, Miley, Minaj, Mia, McCartney….
    Each one a worthy messy closet contender! And then there’s
    Sevigny, Simpson, Sienna, Solange, and Speidi!
    Sigh. I should have gone with messy

  86. blizzybee

    Madewell, Alexa?
    Except, not so much.
    Style icon pawn or
    Sartorial disaster diva?
    You decide.

  87. understateddiva

    Madonna or whore, pathetic or fierce
    Everyone has an opinion on your style.
    Seriously, a cheerleader costume at the
    Super Bowl? No matter – age can never dull a
    Youth well spent.

  88. Catherine

    Michaels, Tammy Lynn. Once an actress, on the rise, then,
    Etheridge, and then NOT Etheridge, and then obscurity.
    Sometimes I wonder what Nicole Julian would have done, but you traded in your leather pants for mom jeans.
    Seems like just
    Yesterday that you were so Gwyneth.

  89. NumberSix

    Mildred Pierce revealed as Mommie Dearest
    Even legends get the blues
    Second-banana jealousy and feuds,
    Still you acted like a star, since
    You know what happened to Baby Jane

  90. neiges

    My name, the first month of the year
    Ever so cold like me
    Surprise! A first born, whose father I’ll never clear!
    Secrets, such as this, and a name like a frozen kiss
    You’ll see, are how your lives should be – just look at me…

    (Ah! the life and fug of January Jones… She’s the most mysterious messy star)

  91. neiges

    Man already!
    Enough to date and
    Sing for the little ladies.
    So caught up in a Disney Fantasy that
    Your wardrobe, Justin B., is MESSY

  92. Miranda

    My need to expose my twin peaks has led to them saying to me -
    Erin Wasson! Wassup with being so clothing (and class) free?
    Shocking is what I aim to be, subtlety could lead to obscurity
    Stylists have tried to reform me, oh no -
    Yellow with jaundice Id rather be!

  93. Ailex

    Moronic jumpsuits are totally your thing.
    Ethereal baldness graces your head.
    Silly sun glasses can be worn at all occasions.
    Shouty boyfriends are not forever!
    Yes, Amber Rose, I’m looking at you.

  94. Ailex

    My yacht would be awesome.
    Easy breezy caftans are totally allowed.
    Sipping cocktails with feet dangling in the water is a
    Serious recommendation. But, thank Fug, celebrities in
    Yellow bikinis, ugly sunglasses, scarves and ugly dresses cannot board.

    • Ailex

      Ah, dude, it went all messy (see what I did there?), but you get the drift! I’m looking forward to Messy! I loved Spoiled!

  95. Lori

    Ms Chloe Sevigny is tops,
    Encased always in fugtastic color pops.
    She strikes many a pose
    So we may comment on her clothes.
    Yikes! What will we do if she stops?

  96. Miranda

    Mutton dressed as lamb
    Ewe in disguise
    Youth’s pursuit is her basic instinct

  97. Annie

    Every time I’m on your pretty blog
    So many tears of bliss and joy drop
    See, you are my only pleasure all day long
    Yo! I need “Messy”- if you don’t believe me, you are wrong!!

  98. Piglet the Pooh

    Man fugs are
    Easily overlooked, but
    Seriously, have you ever REALLY looked at
    Sean Connery in Zardoz?

  99. Piglet the Pooh

    Matthew Perry, known once to
    Everybody as Miss Chanandler Bong,
    Sits now so
    Still in our awareness.
    Yesterday’s memory, but a happy one

  100. Piglet the Pooh

    Mr. Harry Potter is no longer
    Emma Watson’s gig
    So she says
    Sectumsempra to magic
    Yes, and shills makeup instead

  101. michelle

    Miss Rihanna here to set the record straight
    Eschewing pants has lately been my fate
    Some ask if in my tight clothes, I might suffocate
    Stop the fug madness, I know I look great!
    You should see Battleship, for an Oscar nod I await.


    Mischa, remember when you were Marissa and
    Everyone loved your
    So, what happened?
    You should really take a shower…

  103. Melissa

    Miss Kat Graham maybe a witch with an
    Endless closet needing a fix.
    Spike, studs and forlorn topknots everywhere
    She could conjure up a stunner
    Yet seens not to care.

  104. Ley

    Maybe now that my hair has grown back in
    Everybody has forgotten most of my sins.
    Sixty hour marriages are a thing of the past
    Shoes are on my feet even when I’m getting gas.
    Ya’ll, I’ve come so far!

  105. Melissa

    My Rihanna how you bring me joy
    Even when your outfits simply annoy
    See I might complain but don’t change a thing
    Secretly loving to see it all
    You should wear next, a dress that’s a ball.

  106. Melissa

    Madonna Madonna
    Enough already
    Your arms!

  107. Sarah

    Mia Wasikowska,
    Except as Alice,
    Some color
    Serves you well.

  108. elsewise

    Mickey Mouse Club member in your menswear, giving face
    Extraordinary suits and smolder, modeling such grace
    Save a woman from a cab, break up an ugly fight
    Still, your peak of net fame is “Hey, girl” — DAWSON’S WINNING, am I right?
    You may be pretty, Gosling, but your meme still needs some work.

  109. emmkay86

    Muppet dress thrown on the floor,
    Eaten turkey legs next to socks,
    Seafoam wig hangs from the door,
    Sophia Grace would be so shocked,
    Your closet, Ms. Minaj, is an eye sore.

  110. Sarah

    Mad Men’s Hendricks,
    Every woman hurts,
    Seeing your chest.
    Sterling says,
    You need a stylist.

  111. Samuel Joesph Donovan

    Mister Cage, pleasem if you would
    Explain to us exactly how
    Several blockbuster movies and
    So much fame and money leads to such
    Yucky hair that makes the Donald look like Farrah Fawcett.

  112. kmalkovsky

    My, what a large, expensive ring, Ms. Biel.
    Explain to me why you can’t wear it in public? Your
    Serial cheater commitment-phobe of a boyfriend
    Says it’ll ruin his image?
    Yikes, girl.

    • kmalkovsky

      The “Your” goes on the second line, it just looks like it overflowed in the post.

  113. Maggie

    My Helena, kooky and fair
    Eagles, I think, nest in your hair
    Spooktacular layers, what have we here?
    Surely, my dear
    You must have a mirror?

    an ode to Ms. Bonham Carter <3

  114. Anne

    Married men, Pippa?
    Even though you’ve got it all–
    Sisterhood, sexy bod, skiing champ,
    Still you draw the short man straw
    Yeah, ok if that makes me feel better?

  115. Anne

    Ms. Jolie, we respectfully request that you
    Eat a
    Sandwich, or
    Something else (anything, really)
    Yours truly, Everyone

  116. Ashley

    May the odds,
    Ever be in your favor,
    Sweet, innocent child of
    Snooki. Because your mama is Snooki. SNOOKI.
    Yeah, sometimes life is a crap shoot. We all can’t be Blue Ivy.

  117. Sarah P.

    Molting season can be difficult for Big Bird when old feathers follow you
    Everywhere you go. Even Mr.
    Snuffleupagus tries to help you keep your nest in order
    Since it is on Sesame Street.
    Yellow feathers can be so distracting.

  118. Ashley

    Maybe someday,
    Erin Wasson will realize that
    Sometimes, more is more.
    You need to put your vagina away. I don’t want to see that! (TM Valerie Cherish)

  119. Ashley

    My eyes hurts
    Everytime I look at
    So many bad outfits

  120. D

    Monica claimed her as a muse
    Ebony claimed her as paragon of talent and beauty
    Shame, however. claimed her latter years and
    Smack, in part, claimed her life.
    Yeah, I went there.

  121. coexxi

    Model Times – Wacky Clothes
    Especially if you mix those
    Something will go very wrong
    See Jumpsuit Tyra
    Your Eyes are gone….

  122. Sarah

    Especially Stella.
    Stop please.
    You listening?

  123. Emma

    My god, Ms. Lewis (cause you’re nasty)!
    Everyone knows skin-tight lycra causes
    Side-effects to your lady bits,
    So learn to dress yo self before
    You rickety wreck yo self!

    (in reference to one Juliette, she of The Licks)

  124. Milkshake


    Miserable and mercurial. Woah is ME, an Artist bestowed with delicate emotive power.
    Eclipse engagement, prove authenticity! Jitter. Mumble. Aloof sigh. Media angst.
    Sartorial indifference, like, literally: cigarettes, converse, day old tee, crusty hair, edgy minis against my slouch.
    SMILE NEVER (smirk with boyfriend): The Remix.
    Young fans I loathe you. Role model I am not.

  125. Tara

    Mascara smudged round my eyes
    everyone wants my American flag swag
    sullen smirking animal and a cannibal
    so trashy? well we R who we R, right?
    yeah, it’s me Ke$sha, bitches!

  126. Caraid O'Brien

    Maggie Smith onscreen
    Elegance Incarnate. Backstage
    Super diva
    she makes
    Yeezy look restrained.

  127. Kimberly

    Maternity clothes?
    Ew! Spandex,
    Stripper heels,
    Spray tan…
    Yep, I’m pulling it off.


  128. michelle

    Make no mistake, Shenae Grimes deserves the crown
    Embrace her, Fug Nation, she’s the messiest around
    She wears shorts that aren’t pants and patterns fit for a clown
    She thinks her midriff is the best in town

    You can read all about it in the Blaze, these fashion crimes truly astound.

  129. Natalie

    My MANning, my
    Eli, how I love you and your hair, which Madame Tussauds did not do justice to. In fact, it makes me want to
    Shriek loud, heaving, gut-wrenching
    Sobs that will travel all the way to our dear friends in
    Yemen who have probably never even heard of Fug Madness but if they had, I am sure they would all vote to crown what Madame Tussaud calls Eli Manning.

  130. Crystal

    Masons’s Mum Kourt has a lot of answer for
    Every piece should not be worn at the same time
    So much so even
    Scott Disik thinks its too much
    Yummy mummy no more!

  131. Molly

    Mega unorganized I’d bet,
    Especially messy, agreed
    Sevigny’s closet
    Such horror I would see!
    You must concede.

  132. soccer_jude

    Mr. Robert Downey, Jr.,
    Easily the most talented of the Brat Pack,
    Survived near personal implosion,
    Strangely made the *perfect* Iron Man,
    You are reborn as massive hotness.

    Mel Gibson once was hot Mad Max,
    Except apparently he was really scary Mad Mel.
    Screaming epithets and anti-Semitic phrases,
    Staring blankly and crazily in those mug shots.
    You’re just a bit of a nutter, sweets.

    Maybe it would be fun to be a Kardashian -
    Even if you’re constantly chased by the paparazzi,
    Struggling daily to out-fug your sisters,
    Straining constantly for camera time,
    Yet still complete and totally irrelevant and useless.

    • soccer_jude


      Sigh. Last line of that last acrostic should be “Yet still completely and totally irrelevant and useless”

      (much like my brain cells that refused to let me type coherently. clearly time for bed.)

  133. KristenW

    Many a starlet slept in his bed;
    Elvis’ fame and fortune went to his head;
    Successful and edgy, he was the King of Rock and Roll;
    Sixty-Eight Come Back Special, every ticket was sold;
    Yet nine years later, found dead at the commode.

  134. Chelsey

    Mugshot of a girl:
    Eyes sad,
    Smile disappearing.
    Story of a Nickelodeon star gone bad.
    Yikes, Amanda, that pink hair isn’t working.

  135. Chelsey

    My, oh my.
    Even Cee-Lo thinks
    Someone should get Xtina a sweater.
    Showing that much cleavage is a cry for help.
    Your career isn’t that bad; have some dignity.

  136. karanakau

    Wow, I had no idea your surname was Cocks.

  137. Carly

    Yelped the cast of Gossip Girl trapped in Penn Badgley’s hair

  138. Piglet the Pooh

    Mister Carson is a favorite; Thomas an
    Enormous tool.
    Some love Lady Mary; nobody misses Lavinia
    Swire. Daisy! Mr. Pamuk! Dowager Maggie Smith!
    Yebba NotnwoD!

  139. Cassie

    Mini-stilettos and a tiara
    Every outfit captured by the paparazzi
    Suri Cruise
    Someday you will end up in rehab,
    Young fashionista

  140. Jennie-Suz

    Mr. Potter himself, DanRad
    E‘s gotta be hidin’ a pigstye pad
    Since Hot Neville became a meme and
    Stole “The Boy Who Lived”‘s big fight scene
    You think he cares if his cupboard’s clean?

  141. Rachel

    Megalochin adds facial character
    Even though you nearly
    Singlehandedly tanked NBC
    So here’s to Team Coco!
    Years since I found you funny, Leno

  142. Rebecca S.

    Must we see more of Holmes & Yang’s
    Egregiously-fitting clothes?
    Suri doesn’t even approve and
    Scientology is not the answer
    You need a get-a-grip friend who isn’t five.

  143. Jessica G.

    Many who
    Enter R. Kelly’s closet
    Stay to hear him
    Spin some

  144. Laura Z.

    Mr. Christian (Dark-Knight) Bale
    Everyone’s family is crazy, hang in there
    Sideburns akimbo
    Seriously, another Batman movie?

  145. Brittany D.

    Many girls and guys love her,
    Even their mothers can’t find fault.
    Still, dear Taylor wears only sparkles,
    Swiftly exasperating us all.
    You’re not fifteen anymore.

  146. Alana C.

    Mistress of 90210
    Exceptionally charmed to get work
    Star in her own mind
    Sometimes stabby angry
    You inspire (fear) on set

  147. tracy

    marlboro lights, taco bell and redbulls
    envelopes of kool-aid and vodka
    some other pretty strong narcotics, i suspect
    shaved head and bare foot
    yucky is a word for ‘unhygienic’ that you might understand

    Britney Spears

  148. blizzybee

    Mama was a jailbird,
    Everyone says: “Bull-True!”
    Still you became Ms. Blair,
    Sporting headbands with flair!
    You deserve better than lonely boy’s hiddy hair.

  149. Rachelle

    “Mother used to say, ‘You’re going to get stout,’” and wasn’t she prophetic,
    Elizabeth Hofstadt Draper Francis? Even awesomesauce
    Sally can see through your Model Housewife facade.
    Such a mess you’ve made of your life as
    You attempt to continue on with this charade.

  150. Sajorina

    Messed up your life, Courtney Love,
    Even Tori Amos wrote you a song.
    She titled it “Professional Widow” after Kurt was gone,
    ‘Star Fucker’ she called you sixteen years ago…
    You’re still a mess, aren’t you, hon’?

  151. kmalkovsky

    Ms. Klum,
    Even though we’re flattered by your request to design you a
    Special line of outfits, we recommend instead a
    Strict diet of minidresses and rebound boy-toys.
    Yours truly, the makers of Forever Lazy

  152. tracy

    Britney writes her own acrostic to defend herself…

    Marlboro Milkshake? that was a good one, you stupid clowns
    Envy seeps out your pores; where’s your product lines?
    State child protective services can’t even keep me down
    “She’s a big, hot mess” and “cheeto addict” I hear you cry
    Ya’ll don’t know me! My comeback is for reals this time!

  153. holdmewhileimnaked

    Miss katy perry, newly free
    Eyes potential company
    Short of skirt & blue of hair
    She spritzes Pussy in the air
    Yes i know thats not its name, but euphemising’s a loser’s game

  154. Mary Christa

    Mondays are hard, we know
    Evidently for celebrities, too.
    Since VHudge’s
    Shorts have clearly been attacked by a
    Yak on the loose from Studio Four.

    • Mary Christa

      I know you said in your post yesterday that the contest was ending that day, but this post says Thursday, so I hope I’m still eligible! Love you guys!

  155. Coleen

    Maybe someday the celebrities will learn–
    Every piece of clothing is not meant to be worn in public!
    Sartorial Sanity goes a long, long way.
    Stay away from the Crazy – go with Amazing, or even Cramazing if you must.
    You’ll thank the Fug Girls later (and so will we).

  156. Piglet the Pooh

    Me? I misunderstood
    Even though I read the rules.
    Somehow I managed to write 75
    Stupid poems about Lilo
    Yet it was the 74th that was really, REALLY terrific

  157. Ley

    Many have criticized little miss Blake
    Everyone says she’s nothing but fake
    Slept with four men? None of them Ben?
    Something tells me there’s more we don’t know
    You know there’s truth to the real gossip, girl. XOXO

    • Ley

      Many have criticized little miss Blake
      Everyone says she’s nothing but fake
      Slept with four men? None of them Ben?
      Something tells me there’s more we don’t know
      You know there’s truth to the gossip, girl. XOXO

      (I didn’t like that the last line ran over and can’t figure out how to delete the first one)

  158. kmalkovsky

    Mark my words, Stacy Keibler, it’s near
    Every Clooney girl makes it a year
    Save the purses and clothes
    Strike your very last pose
    You should buy Liz Canalis a beer

  159. Xin

    My Heavens
    Ewan McGregor is a
    Sexy piece of ass but
    Strap me vitals!
    You need a tailor.

  160. Conchobara

    Everyone is
    Saying this to you celebs.
    You need pants!
    Miss Aniston
    Everything is so hard for you.
    Supposed babies, cheating boys, but you have that
    Swingy hair.
    Yet I still don’t like you.

  161. Piper

    Mickey Mouse Club gave you your start,
    Eschewing your music breaks my heart.
    Six Grammy awards, JT, but acting has given you none.
    Stringing along the girl with a great bum.
    You need to drop a new album.