I took one look at this and thought that if any tiny little part of Blake Lively misses her life in the public eye, before she married Ryan Reynolds and stopped doing anything or going anywhere, that part of her just got shivers of jealous ecstasy.

That lacy fabric is pretty. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to just dump it on somebody like a bridal cocoon. And why is she hiding interesting shoes? And what is the ruffly lacy stuff doing on her pelvis? Why am I ever asking the question, “What is that doing on, or to, her pelvis?” Why can’t people’s pelvises have peaceful lives, unmarred by rude design? SAVE THE PELVIS.

I’m going to start a ribbon campaign. It will be flesh-toned, obviously, but also bear the hallmarks of common groin-related fashion infractions. Like out-of-place froofery, like with Margot here, but also conditions from which she doesn’t suffer: wrinkles, polterwang, and a strange tightness in parts, while also seeming slightly pregnant. It’s going to be one hell of a ribbon.

[Photo: Getty]