Y’all. I have been on this show for like my entire life. Wasn’t the world supposed to end last night? Because I was thinking about that while I was in my makeup trailer and I decided that I would miss my deep fryer but I really will not miss having to come to work every single day and take a shower every single day and have my face done and talk in sentences and be nice to some people and all that EVERY SINGLE DAY and it turns out I am not even on THE X-FILES THIS IS SOME TOTALLY OTHER SHOW. There aren’t even any aliens on this show which means that I am really confused about Kourtney Kardashian.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Comments (24):

  1. Art Eclectic


    • Tar Heel Gal

      To the VEY! I do hope somebody helps get her an eval for anxiety disorder. Or just an eval. That 3rd pic with Mario whosit is hard to eyeball. It’s almost like clenching those fists at the end of those ramrod straight arms keeps her from self-injurious behavior! And, because it can’t be said enough, I never, EVER get tired of Jessica’s refs to her classic X-Files recaps!!! Mulder, black oil, and a gorgeous little redhead, and the action figures (I have some, too!), sigh, miss them so AND THOSE RECAPS!

      Healthy holiday wishes to Jessica and Heather and families/friends, and all the fine folks who disperse such humor at GFY!!!

  2. Jess

    I just feel so bad for her. It’s clear that show business just isn’t her thing anymore. She looks so uncomfortable!

    • pidget

      Me too. Poor gal just needs a fishin’ trip back in Louisiana. Can’t you see it – bbq and beers on the back of a boat? Please just let the girl be.

  3. Helen

    OMG marvelous. This might have been the best one ever. I actually copied and pasted the whole opening bit and texted it to my boyfriend, who is interested neither in fashion nor in Britney Spears, but he appreciates good writing! I’m trying to get him to come to the site.

    Agreeing with above poster Jess (and Jessica), I think she’s just had it with all this. Well, who can blame her? She got rented out from… I was going to say the age of 16, but it started well before that, didn’t it. Spears never even got to be a kid, just a meal ticket. She looks very pretty in these, but not comfortable or happy.


  4. Dazie

    How old is she now?

    • Desiree


      (I didn’t know that off the top of my head, I swear. I don’t even know how old I am. I looked it up; I was curious, too.)

  5. Lovin' every minute

    Oh fug girls- how I will miss you and your delightful senses of humour over the holidays. How will I get through my work day without you?

    • Kat

      Yes, I don’t know how I’m going to make it. I work in corporate for a retail company, so I’ll be here on Christmas Eve and the rest of the week after Christmas Day. I need my GFY (not to be confused with, I need my MTV)!

  6. TonyG

    I never really liked Britney as an artist/”singer”, but she’s won me over with her X-Factor stint. Her facial expressions are priceless, her comments are sometimes spot-on and sometimes pablum (but I rarely find them to be way off the mark), and she seems like she can’t help but be herself, and I like that about her.

    I also love this post! (especially the turning off the caps lock…brilliant!)

    • Helen

      You know what’s weird, she was a terrific singer before Jive Records got ahold of her. There’s a recording of Spears singing at some local sports event when she was maybe 12-14, and even my mother, a singer herself and with perfect pitch, said on hearing it, “That’s AWESOME.” And it was. Big voice, clear, flawless command of it, beautiful tone.

      Jive made her sing in that breathy little-girl style and it ruined her voice.

  7. Kara

    This is a really unfortunate group of pictures. The second one where she’s walking like Lurch? Lord. Poor thing. Just let her retire already.

  8. Holly Hamilton

    I love B. and since her meltdown and recovery, she is on my radar. I’m glad she has hair now and is wearing enough clothes to cover the privates. I wish her the best and for some reason, while I have always found these posts hilarious, they don’t seem to fit anymore.

    • Ef

      This. Exactly.
      She has been acting normal for a quite a while now and even though she’s not even close to her former Slave 4 U self, I’d say that she looks mostly pretty good, especially when considering everything that she went through.

      The “hey y’all”, cheeto-lovin’, tantrum-throwin’ crass Brit is starting to get outdated and pretty overdone, imho. The posts are funny, but I feel like they’re irrelevant. Oh well.

      • Stacy Parker Cole

        Amen. I just can’t help but to feel sad for her when I see her now.

        • Jessica

          Welp, X-Factor is over, so she will probably go back to doing nothing and you won’t have to read them anymore!

  9. Mikki

    I have to wonder what a body language expert would make of her tense expression and clenched hands…honestlly, she looks sooo uncomfortable .She looks like a scared bunny in front of a line of hungry wolves! I mean, obviously we all have things about our jobs we don’t enjoy, but we don’t go around looking like that…at least, I hope not!

  10. ChristieLea

    It actually freaks me out how exhausted she looks all the time. Let the poor girl retire, and hide away for a year or ten or however long she’d like. I was never the biggest Britney fan, but in her prime she had an undeniable spark in her eyes. That’s gone now.

  11. Emma

    When did Britney’s eyebrows disappear? She does the smoky eyeshadow thing around the circumference of her entire eye, and there’s hardly any brow definition. It’s seriously ageing.

  12. CranAppleSnapple

    Thank you so much for this Letter of Truth! Best Christmas gift so far!
    Have a lovely one, everybody!

  13. 7Kellx

    She is so over being in the public eye but still does it and I don’t understand. She’s seems so controlled on x-factor with generic sentences. She has like 3 reactions that seem so forced. I just don’t get why she doesn’t just move back home to Louisiana and call it a day. She’d be much happier.

    I kinda miss her cut offs too. You know?

    • Helen

      “I just don’t get why she doesn’t just move back home to Louisiana and call it a day.”

      It isn’t up to her. Britney is still not allowed to make her own decisions. Her father does that, and he wants her making more money.

      I cannot begin to express how it enrages me that this parasite has been given complete control over this poor woman. The court couldn’t have appointed someone without a personal financial interest in what she does? It’s so wrong.

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  15. Lesley

    THANK YOU for the “Crazy” video link. Gah, I miss that girl. Too bad that is the Britney my kids will never grow to know and love :(