This whole Valentino line basically makes me want to stab myself in the hand with a rusty dental tool:

Because, seriously. Who wakes up and thinks, “I really want to look SUPER MUSTY at this event. Where can I get something that’s sort of like Miss Havisham meets draperies? Plus mold and then maybe a weird hint of freaky thigh goiter? Because NOTHING says New York City Ballet like FREAKY MUSTY SPINSTER THIGH GOITER, amirite?!?”