Les Fugerables


This whole Valentino line basically makes me want to stab myself in the hand with a rusty dental tool:

Because, seriously. Who wakes up and thinks, “I really want to look SUPER MUSTY at this event. Where can I get something that’s sort of like Miss Havisham meets draperies? Plus mold and then maybe a weird hint of freaky thigh goiter? Because NOTHING says New York City Ballet like FREAKY MUSTY SPINSTER THIGH GOITER, amirite?!?”

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Comments (89):

  1. maryse
    0

    hmmm. yes musty. but her face and hair look great! such a pretty girl.

  2. Kit
    0

    Although she is seriously working that pixie cut!

  3. pidget
    0

    I third that. She is now owning the hair and makeup (or her people are finally on top of it) and her head looks great!

    The rest – dire and droopy.

  4. cathy
    0

    awesome make up and hair. i guess her pixie just need two weeks of bang growing

  5. Sonya
    0

    Dress is blah but face, hair and makeup are gorgeous, so there’s that.

  6. jensa
    0

    Is it wrong that I think it looks like she has giant testicles?

    • bambi_beth
      0

      Oh my. Cannot unsee.

      Can’t can’t can’t.

      • pantsonfire
        0

        I see no goiter and I definitely don’t see gigantic balls. This must be like those trick images where some people can see a sailboat if they look at something the right way. Wasn’t that in Mallrats? I never could see those.

        • youknowwho
          0

          I totally see the goiter, and I’ll tell you what makes it worse: the goiter looks flat when you look directly at it. But glance up towards her head, and your PERIPHERY will inflate the goiter like a basketball! Crazy!

        • pantsonfire
          0

          The periphery trick kind of did it for me. Thanks, youknowwho! I see what you guys are talking about now. I still love the dress, but would probably see about getting rid of the black shadowed bits to avoid the unfortunate optical illusion.

    • Kit
      0

      oh god, now I can’t make them go away. lol

    • erin
      0

      Yes! When I glanced at this she had like a front…butt or something. A front bustle. The shading around her crotch is just so odd. I don’t hate it, and I think it’s great with her coloring, but she’s working it extra hard. Love the hair.

    • Vandalfan
      0

      Damn your eyes, Kit!

    • Anja
      0

      Me too!

  7. Angie
    0

    Her make-up and hair look great though!

  8. paige
    0

    Well I’ll be the cheese that stands alone, because I love this look. Like seriously love it. The “musty” colors work so well against her hair and skin. She looks gorgeous.

    • Candy
      0

      You aren’t alone. I like it too! The dress has so much beautiful detail that’s lost in the small pic. Need to look at it full sized to appreciate. I bet it is even prettier in person.

      • pantsonfire
        0

        Aw, I basically LOVE this, too. Admittedly, I would prefer it with short sleeves or no sleeves, but I’ll still take it as is.

        I think it’s so brilliant how she picked something Victorian-ish romantic to contrast with her hair. I really was not on board with her dressing Mod to match the hair–to me, it looks so much more interesting and compelling when she dressing in a way that contrasts with her hair–makes it feel less like a costume/character she’s putting on. Also, I concur that she is absolutely killing it with the hair and makeup. A++.

    • bettymac
      0

      I’ll be the gouda to your camembert, because I love it too.

      • Jasmine
        0

        I love the print and flow– I guess I’m a Miss Havisham at heart– but I’d like it better if maybe the top of the dress were cut differently? I’m not sure where I was going with that but maybe like… shorten the sleeves or remove them entirely or make it one-shouldered or I don’t even know anymore but I know I want a dress in that exact print RIGHT NOW.
        (So many apologies for the terrible run-on sentence I just inflicted on you all)

    • Christina
      0

      I love it, too! I think it’s pretty. Sure, it’s a bit old (and would look loads better with different/no sleeves), but it’s romantic and the colors look amazing on her.

    • ellenderavenous
      0

      You are not alone! I love this look so much. It’s dramatic and unusual and she’s totally workin’ it.

    • Billie
      0

      Nope, not alone. Love this gown, the colors really work for her, and she looks fab.

    • Jen from cincy
      0

      I’m with you! I saw another picture of this and I thought it looked very pretty in outdoor lighting. It’s definitely unique and looks kind of cool w/her pixie cut.

    • house mouse
      0

      Standing with you! I think she and the dress are both absolutely gorgeous.

    • esther
      0

      i agree, i kind of love the idea of the dress, even if the shading around her thighs is weird.

      she makes me think of a seductive wood nymph in a dark forest or something, lying in wait for a handsome prince or virtuous wood-cutter’s son.

      (yes, I am crazy :P )

  9. BookieBookie
    0

    That is EXACTLY what I thought when I saw it — but Tom & Lorenzo gave this a WERQ! Go figure!

  10. Alma
    0

    I actually really like the lighter-colored portions of the fabric, but once the black stuff shows up, it just looks moldy and blah.

  11. Mick
    0

    Thank you Fuggirls! I seriously hated this look, but looking at other fashion websites, I tought I was the only one! But I have to say, hair and makeup are pretty great.

  12. Gail
    0

    It’s hideous, you are right. I can’t look at it without wanting to reach for scissors.

  13. BrownEyedBetty
    0

    You are so right. A horrifying scroll-down. Looks like something from a 1970s magazine ad…..

  14. Joe Dwarf
    0

    Looked musty in the small pic but when I look at it full-size I think it’s gorgeous.

  15. MelissaW
    0

    Great hair and makeup.

    This dress makes me fear for NYCB – apparently Valentino did some costume designs for their upcoming season. Yipes!!

    • hfree
      0

      If it makes you feel better, Valentino the man is no longer designing Valentino the brand, so this is someone else’s fault. He did design the ballet costumes though.

  16. Issie
    0

    Gah, this dress is so depressing. I feel like it’s what Virginia Woolf would’ve worn the day she walked into the river.

    • Kit
      0

      I believe she was wearing a tweed skirt, cardigan and brogues…alas, nothing so romantic!

    • Berry
      0

      My mind went to a similar place, namely the painting Ophelia by John Everett Millais.

  17. Sallie T
    0

    Ah, the perils of pattern placement.
    Between this and the Gucci show, what is going on with the whole Nixon-era menopausal socialite revival?

  18. Olivia
    0

    I kind of like it, but then again I may be blinded by the magnificence of her hair/face.

  19. Stefanie
    0

    This thing is both musty as shit and sheer is all get up at the same time. How is that even possible!?! Im confused. Underboob =/= musty and yet here we are.

    On the plus side, her hair is looking very cute!

  20. emk
    0

    I strangely like it

  21. Mikki
    0

    What a weird optical illusion with that dress! Thigh goiter indeed!

  22. Prolixity Julien
    0

    Can something be both fug AND fab? I admit that I am not thrilled with Valentino’s new direction (which I am sure is devastating for them), but she is wearing the heck out of that dress and somehow elevates it from Miss Havisham fell in the Marsh to what Cathy wears when haunting Heathcliff.

    • Kate
      0

      That’s exactly how I feel. The dress isn’t good, but she’s rocking it. The black portions are what really throw me off (create phantom lumpy spots), but the idea of the dress sort of works.

      And her HEAD!!! I wasn’t sure about her in short hair, but now that I’ve seen her like this, wow. This hair makes Anne’s features pop but, weirdly, in a more proportional way than when she has longer hair.

  23. Rachael
    0

    I kind of like it. It’s definitely different, and I can appreciate the sentiment of those who despise, but I like it anyway. She’s owning it. And she’s got the height and the face, and the hair to pull this off, I think.

  24. Helen
    0

    That settles it, they are screwing with us ON PURPOSE.

    Hathaway and Baccarin called each other, and said, “Hey, next time we go out, let’s wear the weirdest things we can find, just to see what people say!”

  25. Jacquilynne
    0

    I think I would like this if it weren’t for the thigh goiter.

    Before I read the text I thought “Wow, somehow this dress makes her look like she’s knocked up, somewhere around her knees.” But “thigh goiter” is a much more accurate (and disturbing) mental image than “pregnant knees”.

    • Ms Poopy Von Pants
      0

      I agree, it does have potential but I can’t look past the goiter. To me it looks like she lost over 100 pounds and her extra skin is hanging down to her thighs. From the waist up, she looks gorgeous.

  26. Kara
    0

    Pro: I adore her hair. Con: this dress looks like it came straight out of a trunk in someone’s attic that hasn’t been opened in 30 years. It looks dirty.

  27. Suzedanna
    0

    I think it would have been better served with a different neckline. Maybe something plunging, either in the front or in the back. I do have to say that I think it is pretty and different and an interesting choice. Anne is sure looking gorgeous these days! :D

  28. AmyK
    0

    Awesome hair, awesome makeup. She and Selma Blair could be sisters in this photo. The dress would look less stifling without the sleeves and with a lower neckline.

  29. Bebe
    0

    OMG I kept going back up to look at her lovely hair and droopy, dirty looking gown and just noticed the whole near nip-slip that’s going on!! BOOB ALERT! Her nips are just barely covered by that swirly floral print – it turns sheer at JUST the right millimeter! Ooooh, the scandale!

  30. anny
    0

    Sheer cabbage-rose-print polyester chiffon – straight from the 1974 Fall JCPenney catalog to a red carpet near you.

  31. simone
    0

    i think this is so pretty.

    • Amanda
      0

      I think so, too. There is something refreshing about this look. I was getting so sick of platform shoes and skin tight dresses (not from her, just in general). This looks lovely.

  32. Corriner
    0

    Her face looks great, and her hair is working now. There’s always that.

  33. Edith
    0

    I love the colors and the cut, wish the PATTERN were different and less thigh-goiter-inducing. And she looks amazing; the haircut and makeup with the colors of the dress = win.

  34. Julie
    0

    Love it, but only because it inspired your post, which is the funniest thing I’ve read all week. The dress itself is beyond appalling.

  35. witjunkie
    0

    I am a sucker for the autumn palette, so I like this, even the neck and sleeves – it is just SO UNFORTUNATE that they didn’t pay attention to where the print ended up on the finished dress – or didn’t think about it ahead of time – that goiter illusion is something else. ( I noticed it immediately!) Zoomed in though, it’s lovely. I bet it looks beautiful when she walks.

  36. Jennifer
    0

    I think it’s very wistful. I like it, and her hair looks so pretty just a wee bit grown out as it is now!

  37. Steph
    0

    The dress is on the bad side of okay…but her hair and makeup is AMAZING! I have never seen her look this fantastic! You go girl!

  38. Tiffany
    0

    I think it is beautiful! I think her short hair keeps it young. If she had a poofy up do it would look victorian, but as it is, I think she looks completely gorgeous. Feminine isn’t a bad thing!

  39. jerkygirl
    0

    I love the pattern on this, so I want to unfug it up: spaghetti straps and a drapey neckline instead of the 1971 prom dress neckline and sleeves, line it so there’s no freakin’ SIDE BOOB MAN I’M SICK OF THIS SHEER BS, and get rid of the crotch goiter, and I’d love it unreservedly. As it is, I can only picture it as the shower curtain of my dreams. Except that it would give my tub a goiter.

  40. Lily1214
    0

    I don’t think Valentino really likes women, do you?

    • Lilibet
      0

      Oh but he definitely does! This is Valentino the label not Valentino the designer any more.

  41. Art Eclectic
    0

    I would seriously love this with a better neckline. And a fully lined top.

  42. H.C.
    0

    While does Anne look like she’s starving herself for a Devils Wear Prada sequel?

  43. boston61
    0

    Now we know why girls cry when their hair is cut. Please don’t ever take her makeup too. She would just disappear. I think that dress is too matronly. Though, I like the fact that it is different and does not show skin.

  44. Katie
    0

    This should be a scrolldown fug as that weird blackness that hits her in the thigh creates a fupa.

  45. deee
    0

    I looked at this post three times today. (Because I still do not completely understand how to navigate this place chronologically). Anyhoo, I JUST realized that this is Anne Hathaway. Talk about being overwhelmed by a monstrosity of a dress.

  46. Molly
    0

    I dunno. I think she looks lovely. Maybe it’s just because she’s lovely? But I think her hair and make-up are fab. Also, stoked about Les Miserables. Like, way.

  47. fritanga
    0

    Wow, Hathaway is really playing up the “Liza Minnelli in Wide-Eyed ’60s Faux-Gamine Mode,” isn’t she? This dress does look like fungi, which I suppose she thinks is “groovy.”

    Waiting impatiently for the Peter-Pan collared miniskirt chemises and the green nail polish…

  48. Scanderoon
    0

    I think the print is very nice and could look lovely without the weird black shading. I was scrolling up from the bottom of the page when I first saw it, and thought, “Whoa, is that a really short pregnant person??” Seriously what it looks like when you go from the bottom up.

  49. Rachel
    0

    Miss Havisham never had peekaboo side boob. Strike that – she most likely did, but that doesn’t mean that Anne should!

  50. Nancy
    0

    “Thigh goiter” is perfect. My first reaction after horror was wondering what was bulging off of her thighs. An unfortunate trompe l’oeil. (Did I spell that right?)

  51. openroses
    0

    Florence (of + the Machine) is the only young woman who should wear this. Hathaway, you are no Florence.

  52. Trish
    0

    What??! I think she looks amazing. Her hair has finally grown on me (no pun intended) and I think this is a really flattering dress. It’s following the sheer trend without being slutty and showing everyone your Spanx.

  53. Shoeniverse
    0

    I hate the hair, she needs to have the Catwoman long locks back – oh and the dress is SO drab…

    ❀ #www.shoeniverse.info

  54. Mepe
    0

    Love this look!

  55. Claudia
    0

    I’m so glad somebody else noticed the peculiar trompe l’oeil elephantitis thing going on here.

  56. Suzy
    0

    Okay, I LOL’ed at “super musty” because that’s exactly what it looks like!