You know how in Heathers, there’s the radio call-in show that’s obviously Loveline  — up to and including having The Poorman as host (back when Loveline was just in Los Angeles and hosted by The Poorman, which was approximately 600 years ago) — called “Hot Probs”? Sometimes the phrase, “what is your HOT PROBLEM?” pops into my head. Today was one of those days:

LINDSAY LOHAN WHAT IS YOUR HOT PROB? I know you want to look “innocent” when you’re finding out how much you’re going to jail or whatever, but this is one feather away from an angel costume and it doesn’t make you look innocent, it makes you look MANIPULATIVE and considering that this court case is hinging hugely on an argument that you are a HABITUAL LIAR then MAYBE RETHINK THIS.

Also, have you seen the back?

Because no.

[Photos: Splash]