Innocently Played, Lindsay Lohan


You know how in Heathers, there’s the radio call-in show that’s obviously Loveline  — up to and including having The Poorman as host (back when Loveline was just in Los Angeles and hosted by The Poorman, which was approximately 600 years ago) — called “Hot Probs”? Sometimes the phrase, “what is your HOT PROBLEM?” pops into my head. Today was one of those days:

LINDSAY LOHAN WHAT IS YOUR HOT PROB? I know you want to look “innocent” when you’re finding out how much you’re going to jail or whatever, but this is one feather away from an angel costume and it doesn’t make you look innocent, it makes you look MANIPULATIVE and considering that this court case is hinging hugely on an argument that you are a HABITUAL LIAR then MAYBE RETHINK THIS.

Also, have you seen the back?

Because no.

[Photos: Splash]

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Comments (100):

  1. Miranda
    +22

    She should get jailtime for this outfit alone. Tack on an extra 30 days please. I think doing time is the only way to keep her from dying an early death. Worked wonders for RDJ!

  2. annie
    +34

    Lilo: it’s called a twinset and a pencil skirt. Look into it.

  3. Alicia
    +23

    Wait – are those trousers see-through? That’s no way to protest innocence!

  4. ML
    +8

    You know, because the majority of her ladyparts are hidden from public view, I have to notch a little — like ITTY bitty — “W” in the victory column just on the general principle of having actual cloth cover most of her skin. But I’m not proud of this. Not at all.

    • Chris P
      +3

      Oh, she’s been covering up as of late. It’s just that what she chooses to wear is diabolical.

      Also, this may be the only thing that’s more eye-searing than Notre Dame’s uniforms.

  5. Anne B
    +49

    Redirect, Your Honor?

    Miss Lohan, you do know that this is civil court and not Starfleet Command?
    Miss Lohan, is it your belief that sheer white pants indicate innocence?
    Miss Lohan, which NYFW show did you interpret as arguing the sartorial merits of peplum top over skirt over pants?
    Miss Lohan, what is the meaning of the hooves in this ensemble?
    Miss Lohan, are you at all acquainted with the hair tie, the bobby pin, and the scissors?

    Prosecution rests. Miss Lohan, may the gods of fashion take mercy on your soul.

  6. ck
    +31

    Her extensions look like something you’d find on the ground after an extreme session with a Furminator.

    • Helen
      +6

      Heh, perfect description. The outfit is inappropriate, but what really stood out for me was that tangled mess tumbling down her back.

    • Kat
      +16

      YES. Not only are furminators awesome, but, as Michael K. over on DListed says, that is a THIRSTAY WEAVE.

  7. Edith
    +7

    GAH. Why does she always look so Real Housewife? If Charlie Sheen had her interests at heart at all, he’d hire her a proper stylist. This is just awful, obvious, and SO CHEAP looking. You’re going to court. Wear a nice tweed skirt and a blouse. Or dress pants and a nice top. Do not wear filmy white K-Mart couture with grey suede hooves.

  8. TonyG
    +1

    Drop the netting pants, cut off that pink shoulder/sleeves thingy, and make the skirt longer, and this would not be so bad.

  9. Lux
    +10

    Well, I kind of like the top. And the shoes are probably fine. But those “pants” are just HAHAHAHAHAWTF

  10. Rebekah
    +8

    You know, if the top was just extended into a slightly-above-the-knee dress, this would be totally acceptable.

  11. Anna Svahn
    +2

    I might have been on board with tailored white pants. I don’t mind the top but the see-through pants are an abomination.

  12. Barbara
    +11

    I hope they cut her hair in prison, that would be the greatest thing that happend to her in the last 5 years.

    • TereLiz
      +5

      Don’t they make you take your extensions out in prison anyway?

      • TereLiz
        +11

        Silly me, it’s only the snap-in hair that they make you take out. Thanks, Google.

        • Edith
          +7

          There is such a thing as SNAP-IN HAIR? Clearly, I live in a bubble.

          • Helen
            +3

            Yeah, you can buy snap-ins at beauty supply shops. They do terrible things to the natural hair.

            • Edith
              +13

              But… but…. what do they snap on TO? I don’t have grommets on my scalp. So confused!

              • Goldfish
                +2

                Snap in hair must be bad if it’s the only kind of hair they don’t let you have in prison. Well, I mean it sounds bad anyway, but the prison ban cinches it for me.

              • Jessica
                0

                It snaps on to your actual natural hair.

  13. Stephanie
    +13

    I just.don’t.get.it.

    What makes you think…”hmmm… Must go to court and look innocent and trustworthy… I know, SEE THROUGH PANTS”

    • filmcricket
      +2

      Not to mention the fact that it looks like she has rug burn on both knees. I’m sure it isn’t, but that doesn’t help the overall impression. Oh, LINDSAY.

      • Amie
        0

        Rug burn was my first thought too. And I’m not so sure it isn’t. Someone’s got to pay the bills in that family, and the phrase “Ali Lohan, supermodel” doesn’t seem to be gaining much traction.

  14. Helen
    +7

    The outfit, per se, is not bothering me. It isn’t to my taste, but I don’t think it looks terrible on her either.

    It’s just, why can she not learn to dress for the occasion? How is no one telling her to wear something businesslike for court? It isn’t like this is an unfamiliar venue for her!

    • theotherjennifer
      +4

      in her mind this *is* appropriate. have you seen the horror show that are her parents?

    • Megan
      +3

      Right?! And the thing is, I know she’s worn suits and button-down blouses at one of her previous court appearances*. So, she has access to at least one appropriate outfit.

      Today’s court appearance just seems so self-sabotaging. Wasn’t she late? That’s…that’s not how you get the judge on your side, you know?

      *I am not trying to be snarky, but seriously, she’s had quite a few court appearances and I can’t remember what she wore to each one!

      • Marion
        +1

        I think that her other court appearances were highly influenced by her past lawyer, Shawn Holley. I can only imagine the coaxing it took to get her into proper clothing…

  15. Danielle
    +11

    When I look at her top, I keep thinking of those tee-shirts of a bikini on a fake body over top of the wearers actual body. Only in this case, it looks like a corset top over top of a fake set of shoulder and upper arms. Oh, and to add to her completely innocent look, she’s also wearing diamond rosary beads.

    • Edith
      +7

      Yes – ROSARY. It’s not a necklace, Lindsey, it’s a ROSARY.

      • anny
        +5

        Back in my youth (in the late Cretaceous), the nuns used to punish us for wearing rosaries as jewelry.

      • cathy
        +10

        danielle, edith, thank you!!!!!
        i am very religious and i always find wearing rosaries around your neck very tacky and disrespectful to people who actually use them to pray

        • Rina
          +1

          Somehow ‘diamond’ and ‘rosary’ seem inherently contradictory. On this one I’d have to cut her a break and call it a necklace. ‘Rosary-inspired’.

        • Moira
          +2

          The only time it is ever acceptable to wear a rosary is if you are five and think it will keep the monsters under your bed from creeping up on you.

  16. Kyle Hutchinson
    +7

    To court! To court she wore this!

  17. Bella
    +5

    That top really would make a great mod dress if it went to the knee.

  18. Lulu
    +3

    And the bruised knees showing through the sheer pants. Sigh.

  19. Jenny
    +11

    I hate to say this but I think going to prison for a while might be the best thing that could happen to her at this point. Obviously she doesn’t have anyone around her who has her best interests at heart.

  20. What what
    +4

    Did you leave “words” at the bottom misspelled as “wrods”? Because I definitely just thought “wrods” when I saw those pants.

  21. rowynn
    +4

    I assume the nattily dressed man at her side is her attorney – you’d think if no one else would, he would have coached her on what to wear to court. For what he probably charges per hour, that should be part of the service.

    • Helen
      +2

      Actually it usually is, with any attorney. Maybe she just doesn’t listen.

      • Maria
        +6

        I suspect that, like ALL of her problems, this particular problem is borne of NOT LISTENING TO LAWYERS.

        Also, having Dina Lohan as a mother as a contributing factor.

        Poor thing. I can’t help but feel sorry for her, did you know she was allowed to move to Hollywood by herself when she was like, 16? Who send their young teenager to Hollywood with millions of dollars and no supervision and thinks it won’t end in Rehab, prison and/or the morgue?

        • Helen
          +6

          I know. Her parents have been living off this girl since she was a child, and things just got even worse from there. She’s basically feral and it’s entirely their fault.

          I just want to hug her and mother her.

    • Guerra
      +1

      Apparently during the court hearing she kept telling him to shut up so I think she wouldn’t listen to him if he tried!!

  22. notbusy
    +21

    I think it would also behoove her to wear more sensible shoes

  23. Miriam
    +2

    I thought in pic #1 that she was in handcuffs!

  24. Vandalfan
    +3

    The clothing, I find simply beautiful. Imagine this in a nice upscale tapas lounge by a beach.
    But having practiced law for 28 years, I assure you it is not appropriate court attire.

    • Elbyem
      +10

      And having practiced criminal law for 25 years, I am with you, sister. My general advice to people going to court, is to dress like you’re going to church. Real church – not church where the service involves snakes.

      • Vandalfan
        +5

        I tell them “…to a wedding in a church,” because most of my clients wouldn’t otherwise go to church. :-)

  25. cynicalsmirk
    +3

    The greatest thing about the see-through pants is that you can see what appear to be scabs on her knees. Again, maybe not the look you’d go for, if you had her reputation.

  26. erin
    +5

    see, far from proclaiming innocence, I’m pretty sure she’s gearing up to mount some sort of insanity defense. because that outfit (really more from the back than from the front) screams “formal-ish hospital gown” to me.

    I’m with Rebekah above though – lose those sheer leg wraps, bring this to a just-north-of-knee hem, and it could at least be better.

  27. Yes please
    +1

    I think she’s rocking it.

    • Pherfer
      +5

      She IS rocking it. She actually looks lovely … for an early evening, casual, Malibu beach, cocktail party. For a court appearance it’s wrong.

  28. Corrine Engelgau
    +6

    She’s wearing sheer pants so the jury may see she is not hiding anything up her leg-sleeves. It’s a metaphor!

  29. Other Emily
    +4

    Oh, gosh. I feel like maybe it’s time to take a hiatus from Lindsay. Part of me really enjoys these posts (what is your hot prob — hah!), but the other part feels like this girl is in serious danger of dying any day, and then I feel icky about making fun of her. The scabs showing through those awful pants are just beyond tragic and although she’s in her 20′s, they make me feel like I’m looking at a little kid who really needs a real mom to take care of her. I’m a downer, I know.

    • Corrine Engelgau
      +6

      Awe, but really, you’re right. I feel you on this. Whenever I stop long enough to think about her being the little girl in The Parent Trap remake, it makes me want to cry.

      • Helen
        0

        Well, results are in, and the clothes didn’t matter. A plea bargain was struck before the judge even saw Lindsay. 18 months of psychotherapy, 90 days in a locked rehab, and 30 days of community labor. 180 days in jail if she fails to fulfill any of this.

        All she had to do was agree, which she did.

        So let’s all hope this three months may do Lohan some good! Given that it’s a locked facility, I dare to think it just might. At least she won’t be able to go out and buy bad clothes there… and maybe her face could get back to normal! It’s looking like the fillers are wearing off already in this picture.

    • Jessica
      +1

      At this point, I kinda think Lindsay is going to outlive us all.

  30. holly
    +10

    Obviously her white collarless shirt from Fred Segal was at the cleaners! Very unfortunate as it was her most capable looking outfit.

    • Robyn V
      +1

      Maybe she needs Cher’s computerized closet (with Polaroid camera) to help her put an appropriate outfit together.

      I’m on board with the to-the knees skirt – when I just saw a pic from the waist up earlier, I thought she looked fine. Then the pants…uggh.

      • Corrine Engelgau
        +5

        I have wanted that closet since I could dream!

      • Robyn V
        0

        You know what? She obviously knows what she’s doing when picking go-to-court clothes, judging by the verdict.

  31. PB
    0

    I think this is a leftover from her failed “Leggings ARE Pants” fashion collection.

    Anyway, somewhat demure it may be, but LiLo manages to trash it up with the too long leggings/pants (if “lants” isn’t a word, it should be), the side slits to makes the ends of the lants hang over the shoes, and the trashy looking shoes. She looks like she’s dressed for an audition for the new season of The Real Housewives of NJ, not a day in court.

  32. La Fifie
    +3

    Maybe she thought she was going to a tennis court and that whites were required….

  33. Esme
    0

    Seriously, where does she get these . . . garments? I guess that’s one thing in her favor, they certainly are one-of-a-kind (thank god).

  34. Esme
    0

    Whoa, I see it’s Philip Lim–wtf, Phil?

  35. Goldfish
    +1

    I feel so sorry for her, I just don’t have the heart to bust on her.

    But the outfit, hell yes, I feel free to bust on that. Damn. It looks very much like the garments they wore to protect themselves from errant radiation in “Silkwood.”

  36. Miss Louise
    +2

    The manipulation is as transparent as the trousers.

  37. Ladyblahblah
    +19

    I constantly see pictures of Lindsay and Woman Who Gave Birth to Her coming out of clubs, etc., but I’ve never seen Woman Who Gave Birth to Her in any of the pictures from her many, many court appearances.

    • Elbyem
      0

      I suspect her lawyer has tried to ban both her parents from attending (I would). Doubt they could restrain themselves in the courtroom: and KNOW that they couldn’t outside of it, when approached by the media. Their presence would NOT help her case.

  38. Sajorina
    0

    The outfit doesn’t really bother me as much because at least she’s pretty much covered, but it is both age and court inappropriate! I wish she had worn her hair up because it’s distracting! The shoes are fine! It the shirt & pants were a solid fabric, I’d be fine with it, as long as she took off the skirt!

    I can’t help but to feel bad for Lindsay because all that’s happening to her is a mix of poor life choices brought on by bad parenting and lack of a “get a grip” friend! So sad!

  39. witjunkie
    0

    I rather like this to look at. A few years ago (OK, Spring ’07, it’s still on my computer) I had saved a couple pics I liked and Vera Wang had shown several looks with these sheer sort of leggings, only they were capri/below the knee length, and were with floaty sheer layered skirts and dresses…it was very pastel and summery and I thought, how pretty. Not something I could/would wear, but pretty.

    So this reminds me of that, however, time & a place etc, and this isn’t it.

  40. Kate
    +1

    I think she wore this and planned on using the insanity defense.

  41. Eurydice
    +1

    It’s not the clothes – it’s her. She makes everything she wears look like dirty laundry.

  42. Goldfish
    0

    It’s like if Cirque du Soleil had a company nurse.

  43. Kelly
    +1

    I keep thinking these are not sheer pants, but rather XXXL white pantyhose.

  44. Lisa
    0

    Her hair is the second worst part of this equation, after the sheer pants! It looks so ratty, and if you want to see some scary closeups of her face in court, check out radaronline. Wow, this girl is looking the worse for wear. And can someone please tell me why girls (women seems slightly too mature a word for these two) in their twenties, barely 30′s like Lindsay and Kim Kardashian get their lips done when they don’t need to? I used to say Kim looked like her mother, but now she actually looks worse than her mother! And Lindsay might have her problems but the one (or two) thing(s) she had going for her were her face and her body. Her body’s still good, even though she clothes it in atrocities, but her face– why, Lindsay why? You didn’t need anything in your face! It was pretty! You didn’t need your face to be puffier!!

  45. Jess Ritz
    0

    You guys need to post the picture of her in court – talk about looking like a train wreck!

  46. One of the Leahs
    0

    I’m old-fashioned, but I’d really like the dress as a DRESS. Lose the leggings and lengthen the skirt, and I think it would be both pretty and appropriate.

  47. Hadrien Lum
    0

    great fashion outfit, that is why it’s here and all the boring surbubanites and squares will comment and say it’s too much or it’s bad.

  48. wordphreak
    0

    WTF popped into my head. But then, it almost always does where Lohan is concerned.