Inglourious Fug-or-fab-terds


fug-or-fab

When this photo was thumbnail-sized, I expected to enlarge it and find out that it was Diane Kruger. But no — it’s her Inglourious Basterds co-star Melanie Laurent.

You can kind of see why my brain went there, though, right? They’re both blonde. Sometimes La Krug enjoys hairdos that evoke a milkmaid skipping through the meadow. And the top half of the dress reminds me of the kind of experiment-gone-wrong that DK undertakes sometimes — like initially it was supposed to be a much more interesting dress, a veritable festival of sheer fabric erupting in head-cradling confusion, but the designer got bored somewhere around that haphazard, limp neck tie and just threw in a pencil skirt real fast so he/she could go to happy hour.

As for what Diane actually wore, here you go:

I think THIS hair might be how the milkmaid looks after she’s staggering home from work, drunk on fresh moo juice and basking in the afterglow of a naughty barn-floor romp with the pig-wrangler. But I might like the dress. I can’t decide. The top is pleasantly sparkly; the bottom seems to have a screen attached to it, as if her pelvis has a mosquito allergy and desperately needs the extra protection. It gives off a whiff of chain mail. And is it just me, or might those shoes be on sale in the Hustler store to people who want the option to cuff their ankles to a chandelier? And why does none of that keep me from thinking I want one of these in my closet?

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