Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Mad Fug

Fug file:

When I first saw this pic of Mad Men's Maggie Siff, I admit that I wondered if she were actually in costume:

But then I realized that her character, Rachel, is way too elegant to ever wear what is essentially a shiny orange satin cupcake with a brooch in her hair and matching shiny orange shoes. I wonder if she had some kind of bet with the Mad Men costumers. Like, she bet that she could go a week without showing off her very unladylike parlor trick of sticking her entire fist in her mouth, and they took that bet -- I may be drawing from life here, but in my case, I bet I could go THE REST OF MY LIFE and I'm still winning, and, yes, I am aware that I only win this bet upon my death, but my estate is really counting on that ten bucks -- but she couldn't hold out late one night on set after many faux martinis and clove cigarettes and now look at her. I feel you, Maggie. I really do.

Senior Fug

Fug file:

MONIQUE COLEMAN: I know I've had this bob for a couple of months, but it's still REALLY CUTE ON ME!!

ASHLEY TISDALE: Sigh.

VANESSA HUDGENS: I can't even LOOK at A. Tis right now.

MONIQUE: Seriously, am I not CUTE WITH THIS HAIR!?

ASHLEY: I knew this hair was a mistake. I look so boring now.

VANESSA: Did Tis get that dress from Forever 21...in 1987? I have totally seen old people wearing it in, like, pictures of the olden times. It's so sad!

MONIQUE: Things are GOOD!

ASHLEY: I mean, brunettes are hot. Look at these two. But me...I might be better as a blonde. I feel sort of....blah with this hair. And the cut is kind of blah. So very blah. I'm not even wearing lip gloss. I just feel....blah.

VANESSA: Whereas my hair is so lustrous, and my boots so very naughty. I feel so young and vibrant.

MONIQUE: I just want to go outside and TWIRL AROUND!

ASHLEY: Am I wearing a headband? Blair Waldorf isn't blah. What's wrong with me, America? WHY AM I SO SAD?

VANESSA: Poor Ashley. She's like the Boring Meat in a sandwich made of Adorable Bread and no one wants to eat her. Or something. You know what I mean.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Fug

Fug file:

Hi Lindsay!

Nice....um....shoes? Yes. We'll go with that.

Square Fugs

Fug file:

Hey Granny! What are you doing out of the house?

Oh, sorry, SJP -- it's just you. The fuzzy cardigan and prim little bun confused me. I thought you were about to offer me some General Foods International Coffee and ask if I wanted to watch Days with you, while spying on the neighbors during commercial breaks and looking over your bank statements (the answer to that is: yes). And now I guess I've earned myself a visit from the Great Beyond tonight, when my grandma decides to pop back down to earth and inform me that she would NEVER wear two-toned hose designed to look like a knee-length leggings/stockings combo or a dress that looks like a bedsheet, especially with that cardigan tossed over it. Then I'd ask her after the rest of my dead relatives, which I assume she will dismiss with an eye roll, and then she'd yell at me to hurry up and get married because my eggs are drying up, and THEN she'd tell me to forget that, because men are more trouble than they're worth, and then we'd make deviled eggs and then I'd tell her to say hello to Elvis for me, and she'd tell me that Elvis IS ALIVE, and then that mystery would finally be solved. So, thanks, SJP -- I've been wanting to catch up with my grandma for ages.

OMG, Mischa Barton, Get A Job So I Can Use The Title As a Pun, PLEASE

Fug file:

"HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry I'm late! I forgot how to brush my hair. BUT I MADE IT. Are you ready for my rendition of Coopscades!: Marissa Cooper On Ice? It's going to be AWESOME."

Fugia Menounos

Fug file:

awful pants,
WTF

Wow, Maria, those are.... some serious, SERIOUS pants.

[Photo: BauerGriffinOnline.com]

I mean, I've seen some wide-legged pants in my day, but these high-waisted monsters are impressively confusing. Why would a teeny tiny person like Maria Menounos want to look like she's marching around in a pair of Jared Fogle's "before" slacks?

Fugin Wasson

Fug file:

So, apparently model Erin Wasson is no longer serving as designer Alexander Wang's muse.

[Photo: BauerGriffinOnline.com]

I can't IMAGINE why.

Fug It!

Fug file:

bad hair

This is where Juliette Lewis' carefully messy bedhead addiction really bites her in the ass.

Seriously, in this photo it looks like she just opened the door to room service totally starkers, with last night's makeup smearing down her inner-eyes and her hair styled entirely by a wicked bed-rocking carnal romp. When I saw this photo I actually hurried to find the full-length one, just in case. Not that a girl can't wear strapless dresses on the offchance someone snaps a mid-range photo of her looking nude; rather that, I mean, this is JULIETTE LEWIS. She's a professional kook. If I saw this picture of Kate Walsh, or something, I probably wouldn't have paused. But with Juliette, there is always that slight chance she WILL wander out to the party in her birthday suit, or at least that whatever fabric she IS wearing will be crazy or fugly or prone to awkward sweat stains.

Which is a shame, because in the full photo, she looks fine:

Continue reading Fug It!.

The Two Fuggers

Fug file:

So, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the first step in Gwynnie's attempt to take over Mary-Kate Olsen's identity, right?

First, the long, Goth-y, furry get-ups. Next, the center-parted blond hair. And finally, of course, the sort of sourly pursed lips. Expect soon to see her adopt the following, in no particular order: a Starbucks cup perm-attached to her right hand; a giant purse made of some kind of rare, fuzzy animal; a disregard for pants; a renewed affection for items with holes in them; a very similar -- but more cheerful-looking -- personal hanging around with her on occasion; and, finally, a DeLorean so that she can travel to the past, make a series of movies in which she plays twins who get into hilarious scrapes while on vacation with clueless but loving parents, and emerge a bazillionaire. It's not the worst plan I've ever heard.

Christina Fugci

Fug file:

There is something pleasingly melodramatic about this photograph to me. It's as if Christina Ricci is attending an old-timey ball at which she expected to be the belle -- until, while standing near the bottom of the stairs, she caught sight of her previously plain, unthreatening archrival descending the steps, capturing the attention of every eligible bachelor in the joint by wearing a fabulous, cleavage-tastic dress. Which, naturally, she had recently very quickly adapted from a boring, out-of-style, tacky garment Christina lent her in the hopes of making her nemesis feel stupid. And now, La Ricci is plotting the best revenge, like whether she can make a martini strong enough to sear the ringlets off a bitch.

Then, of course, she remembers that she can easily regain the attentions of the crowd simply by turning sideways:

Continue reading Christina Fugci.

Desperately Fugging Susan

Fug file:

"Hello, darlings. Welcome to Droncho Parlor, where there isn't a half-dress, half-poncho that won't meet all your tomfoolery needs. Because some days it's just not enough to have only ONE trick up your sleeves; maybe you need to fit three magicians, a rabbit, a half-naked girl in sequins, a magic coffin, two swords, a bottle of tequila, some prostitutes, alcohol wipes, and two pounds of body glitter. Come to me. Let me solve your mysteries."

Fug on Earth

Fug file:

crazy layers,
WTF

In starting this fug, I realized that I could not remember a single movie Leelee Sobieski has been in. Not just recently. EVER. Then, of course, I remembered the one where she has knee cancer and has to choose between Josh Hartnett and Chris Klein and OH MY GOD, if a movie starring those three doesn't SCREAM, like, 1999, I don't know what does.

Much as this look screams, "I am kind of an asshole." If it's cold enough for dueling capes and a hood, why are you wearing SHORTS with ONE GLOVE? Exactly.

Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway

Fug file:

blue,
stripes

I knew we'd have to feature this dress as soon as I opened my in-box and saw several emails from concerned readers, most of which said something along the lines of, "Anne Hathaway: huh??"

It IS perplexing. When I saw this shot, I was like, "OH HONEY":

I was concerned. Did Ms Hathaway -- who's been so charming in the press lately, all forthright and self-deprecating about her break-up, like, some people would refuse to talk about it, so I have to give her props for being like, "YEAH. I had THE WORST BREAK-UP...IN THE WORLD" -- actually decide that the look she was going for was "kinda saddle-baggy"?

But then I saw this shot, and things seemed somewhat better:

>

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway.

Fug or Fab: Carla Gugino

Fug file:

First, I liked this. Then it started to remind me of the kind of upholstery you'd see in the bedroom of a very rich woman who secretly believed she was the reincarnation of Marie Antoinette.

Then I kind of liked it again.

poll by twiigs.com

My Fug Brady

Fug file:

I occasionally look at Adrienne Curry and think, "I, ret's SO WEIRD that the first ANTM winner married Peter freaking Brady." It's like the D-list version of Joey Potter marrying Tom Cruise.

The rest of the time, of course, I'm looking at her and marveling at how understated she is.

Mad Fug

Fug file:

Senior Fug

Fug file:

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Fug

Fug file:

Square Fugs

Fug file:

OMG, Mischa Barton, Get A Job So I Can Use The Title As a Pun, PLEASE

Fug file:

Fugia Menounos

Fug file:

Fugin Wasson

Fug file:

Fug It!

Fug file:

The Two Fuggers

Fug file:

Christina Fugci

Fug file:

Desperately Fugging Susan

Fug file:

Fug on Earth

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway

Fug file:

Fug or Fab: Carla Gugino

Fug file:

My Fug Brady

Fug file:

Search

WHAT THE FUG?!

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

Fug Yourself Up

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY