Go Fug Yourself: Because Fugly Is The New Pretty

Fug Kissed A Girl And It Didn't Really Care For Her

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I am confused:

What IS that? Is it...a ruler, in case she needs to measure something when she's out and about? Is it....one of those flat wooden paint stirrers, to be used in the instance that she just happens to stumble upon the opportunity for some impromptu room painting? Is it the swizzle stick for like a REALLY GIGANTIC cocktail? Is she going to use it to rap the knuckles of people who criticize her music/ensembles? (Sorry, Katy. Please don't hit me with your wallpaper-covered mini-paddle.) And, more importantly, just how uncomfortable IS it?

The Fug Lovers

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Aw, HELL NO:

I feel like this is one of those things where we're all supposed to be like, "Oh GWYNNIE. So FABULOUS! So FRESH! I MUST HAVE IT! YES! YES! ALLOW ME TO FALL INTO A PAROXYSM OF JOY RE: YOUR FABULOUS FASHION-FOWARDITY," and instead we're really all like, "dude, nice underwear. Also, are those socks? LAME."

Happy Belated Birthday, A Dubs

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Somehow, we missed that yesterday was Anna Wintour's birthday. I KNOW. I fired Heather and then myself. We'll see you on the bread lines. Nevertheless, we'd like to take a moment from our now incredibly free schedule to wish A Dubs many happy returns and wish fervently that the Birthday Fairy brings her Roger Federer on a silver plate:

See? So happy together! Not to mention the fact that Brittle Editrix Redeemed Through Love Of A Mega-Hot Tennis Star is going to make an AMAZING Lifetime movie. I have the script like three-quarters of the way done already!

poll by twiigs.com

Fug or Fab: Hayden Panettiere

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I don't know, you guys. I'm thrilled Hayden Panettiere is taking some risks and being mature and whatnot, but I still feel like this is a case of a really young girl -- who is, in fact, still technically in her teens -- wearing something we'd as likely see on Nicollette Sheridan or Bette Midler or something.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

The one full sleeve feels a tiny bit 80s to me, and while the theory of the tiny slit and the silver shoulder is interesting, in practice I'm not sure. In the words of my father, let's have a butcher's at a close-up:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Hayden Panettiere.

Fug Up Your Life

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And people wonder why I cherish Posh:

Who else travels looking like the couture lovechild of Karl Lagerfeld, the chauffeur in an old-time-y movie, an insect, and the sofa in a particularly cheesy gentleman's bachelor pad?

poll by twiigs.com

Dana Defugny

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Move over, Hedwig -- it's time for Dana and the Angry Twelve Inches.

Honey. HONEY. That pattern is as busy as the fugly rug on which you're standing, and it makes you legs look so very disproportionately wee. Why is that extra foot of fabric tacked onto the bottom? Why? It looks like the makers of Space Invaders created a sequel about the Eiffel Tower.

Imagine the dress without it -- try to pretend it stops where that swatch starts. It'd be about knee-length. We'd see some leg. She'd look taller. Truthfully, there's no denying that the entire thing is very "It was a Chico's kind of day," but without the bottom piece, it would be MARGINALLY better -- say, a Chico's kind of hour, or maybe a Chico's kind of brunch.

poll by twiigs.com

Well-Playedish, Chloe Sevigny

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Seriously, dudes, I hate it when Chloe Sevigny shows up places and looks awesome, and it's happening more than it used to.

See? Other than kind of straggly hair -- which, awkwardly, I myself have RIGHT THIS SECOND -- and that questionable choker, she looks totally fine and cute. Maybe even -- HORRORS -- a little boring. Except for the shoes, of course. I want to club her over the head with a sack full of oranges, rip those off her feet and go running into the dark, cold night, laughing uproariously and cradling them to my breast like a precious, precious baby. Because I dig them. A lot. But otherwise, I kind of miss those halcyon days when she used to run around that that Art Garfunkel hair do. So this fills me with ennui.

poll by twiigs.com

Fugly Underwood

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We generally don't make a habit of off-topic posts like this, but it's Election Day, and we've been planning to poll you like crazy. So we're going to do things a little differently today -- mixed in with your regularly scheduled fuggings, of course -- and solicit the vote on a few vital issues of the day. Like, say, stuff that comes out of Carrie Underwood's mouth. VITAL.

It seems that Carrie Underwood up there (it's an old photo; don't worry, she did not trot out the polterwangian pantsuit again) got cranky to TV Guide about the spectre of celebrities throwing public support behind one candidate:

"I lose all respect for celebrities when they back a candidate.... It's saying that the American public isn't smart enough to make their own decisions."

So I guess she's saying celebrities, by dint of being famous, should shut their mouths and clam up and not choose to be activists if there's anything they believe in, JUST because their fame might imply that America is too dumb to have an opinion without them? That seems extreme. Maybe she needs to go back to telling us all how long it's been since she talked to Tony Romo. And yet at the same time, I've rolled my eyes plenty when CERTAIN celebrities start talking about politics. Like, for instance, I know she's a person, too, but I can't bring myself to care what Paris Hilton thinks about the state of the world. I just can't. Ditto Heidi Montag.

poll by twiigs.com

Stella McFugney

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STELLA McCARTNEY: Yes, that's right, lens-jockeys. Drink it in, okay?

CHRISSIE HYNDE: Heeeeeeeee.

STELLA: What are you laughing at?

CHRISSIE: Oh, nothing, nothing. You look ... special. Snort.

STELLA: I know that. I have procured a jumpsuit that's made to look like a suit-suit, and it is as if angels spun it themselves from finest cashmere.

CHRISSIE: That's... tee-hee... ONE way of putting it.

STELLA: Oh, yes? How would YOU put it?

CHRISSIE: I'd suggest you were moments away from opening up law firm in the back room of your local Jiffy Lube. You could call it Jiffy Law. Ha! And accessorize it by hanging a hood-ornament around your neck. This would make a great country song...

STELLA: Well. That's very interesting, coming from someone who is wearing almost the EXACT same thing but with stranger shoes.

CHRISSIE: HA! Do you see, guys, how weird she is? Honey, my jacket and pants SEPARATE.

STELLA: That's because your jacket used to belong to Shaquille O'Neal.

CHRISSIE: Whatever, crankypants. Or should I say crankysuitpants? HA HA. Hilariously hideous. Let's get inside before anyone else sees you.

STELLA: You are insane. I am divine. EVERYONE WILL SEE.

CHRISSIE: Right. Clearly, YOU are the one who should've been in a band called The Pretenders.

poll by twiigs.com

Fug The Vote, And Other Housekeeping

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In honor of Election Day, we've decided to live and breathe democracy today on GFY. All our posts will have voting options so that we can all exercise our precious and hard-won enfranchisement; some of them might only exist JUST so you can enjoy clicking the button and seeing an immediate result (because Election Day is many things, but "good for instant gratification" is not one of them). Also, we're hoping it will remind people to get out to their polling place and cast their ballots, because there's nothing fuglier than not caring, not bothering, or not going because you think standing in line for a long time on such an important day sounds kind of boring/cold/exhausting. This is why the universe gave us magazines, iPhones, and sensible shoes.

So that, go forth and vote -- both here and at your polling station -- and try not to stress out too much today. Margaritas help.

poll by twiigs.com

Fugrose Place

When I first saw this picture, I thought, "Oh, Vanessa 'The Other Vanessa Williams' Williams, why are you wearing a Halloween costume when you're not attending a costume party? Why?" Because I thought the little hot air balloons on her dress were jack-o'-lanterns.

And then I thought, ""Oh, Vanessa 'The Other Vanessa Williams' Williams, why are you wearing a dress covered in hot air balloons when you're not attending a hot air ballooning enthusiasts party? Why?"

Fugse

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Other than the fact that the jacket looks a bit like it recently shrank, I probably wouldn't have thought much about this outfit on Jennifer Morrison:

[Photo: Splash News]

I mean, it's fine -- the pants are kind of ridiculously long, and I've never fully understood the whole white jeans thing. Aside from being very Elizabeth Hurley to me, since she seems to wear them all the time, they seem to SCREAM for unsightly stains (aside from baby vomit, apparently) to come along and ruin your night.

In fact, maybe some did:

Continue reading Fugse.

Well Played, Bai Ling?!?

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Oh, Bai Ling, you are so sly.

[Photo: WENN]

Sure, that looks nice and normal, but we all know better. What've you got on your lower half, eh? A tutu made of human hair? Pants made out of maracas? Bloomers stuffed with cotton balls and cashew nuts? It's got to be SOMETHING crazy. You are Bai freaking Ling, after all.

Or are you:

Continue reading Well Played, Bai Ling?!?.

Celebrity Fugloween

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Halloween is such a phenomenal spectator sport. It must take real skill for people like, say, Paris Hilton or Audrina Patridge to figure out how they can show skin and tease up their hair in a different way that could be construed as a costume. Half the C-list gets dolled up as Sexy Angels, Sexy Devils, Sexy Women In Black Corsets And Random Wigs, and Super-Naked Sexy Take On A Random Profession That Usually Does Not Require Visible Navels; mixed in there, you will occasionally get some awesome costumes, but more often than not it's the type of "Yay, I have an actual excuse to show my bra" stuff that we all did when we were 23.

This time, though, full marks for creativity to Ashton Kutcher. If you doubt that he wears the pants in his marriage, I am here to tell you that he is at least SOMETIMES in full be-trousered control. Because he convinced Demi Moore to go with him in costume... as ,according to our image provider (and I suspect it is correct based on the photo) a GIANT NIPPLE:

[Photo: Splash News]

Not only that, but he convinced her to wear puffy flesh-toned leggings AND made her carry the nipple into the club from the car -- apparently, she was too embarrassed to put on the costume while they were in the street. So instead, she buried her head in the pink felt areola. To HIDE. Granted, yes, this is a woman who once wore bike shorts to the Oscars, but those do not look like the actions of a person who is proud to be a nipple. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall of that conversation, when Ashton was like, "Honey, I have the BEST costume idea. But I need you." And Demi was all, "Mmm-hmm, sweetie, sure, can you pass me Parade magazine? I need to study Nicole Kidman's face." So Ashton went, "THANK YOU. Because a giant nipple pillow cannot be borne by man alone," and Demi was like, "Say WHAT? God, what would Marilyn vos Savant think..." and Ashton frowned and said, "That's funny, Cameron Diaz told me she thought it was brilliant..." resulting in Demi clenching so hard she broke three teeth and then did a shot of bourbon before nodding her agreement. Well played, Ashton. It's deliciously tacky, and yet the fact that you pulled this off kind of makes me cherish you deeply.

Speaking of deliciously tacky:

Continue reading Celebrity Fugloween.

The Accidental Fugband

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wearing white

Just to be clear, Uma Thurman isn't at a Halloween party.

[Photo: Splash News]

So I can't quite understand why she's wearing something that, last I saw it, was stained with trash-compactor juice from the bowels of the Death Star, sustained while Luke wrestled with some sort of cyclops-serpent and then the walls started closing in on them. I mean, I guess Carrie Fisher made it look comfortable, but all I can think of when I see it is what sort of nasty garbage those Dark Side troopers probably generated -- what with all of Darth Vader's medical waste (you know he had some; the dude was seriously high-maintenance) and the space equivalent of mice and cockroaches they'd have to kill every time they got into the kitchen cupboards, and of course all the musty robes of kindly old wise men that they had to incinerate after the big boss disintegrated them with a flick of his glow-stick. It's not a nice mental image, is what I'm saying. But I'm sure Uma had a lovely night, and hey, if she had to run away from any laser-wielding clones in white helmets, then I'll eat my words and swear she picked the perfect gown.

Fug Kissed A Girl And It Didn't Really Care For Her

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The Fug Lovers

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Happy Belated Birthday, A Dubs

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Fug or Fab: Hayden Panettiere

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Fug Up Your Life

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Dana Defugny

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Well-Playedish, Chloe Sevigny

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Fugly Underwood

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Stella McFugney

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Fug The Vote, And Other Housekeeping

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Fugrose Place

Fugse

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Well Played, Bai Ling?!?

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Celebrity Fugloween

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The Accidental Fugband

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