If I Was Your Fugfriend


There are so many atrocities herein that my soul is currently in hiding. But to start, if I may reinvent a well-worn quote from Mean Girls:

STOP TRYING TO MAKE CROTCH HAPPEN. IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (105):

  1. Brian
    0

    Shouldn’t he have hit puberty by now?

  2. Maria
    0

    This makes me feel old. And tired. And stabby.

    • Desiree
      0

      I am still feeling old and tired, but not stabby any longer; your funny comment cured that.

  3. Katherine
    0

    I’m convinced he’s a castrati.

  4. Lizzy
    0

    Oh honey, NO! Go back to bed and start the day over.

  5. amy
    0

    It’s going to be really difficult for him if he’s on the Fashion Police and has to select the worst thing he’s ever worn.

  6. amanda
    0

    Ugh. This is the kind of thing that throws me into uncontrollable blind rages.
    Baby Douche here is a bazillionaire! I just can’t. That hat. Those fu*KIng hat!
    Seeing RED!!!

    • amanda
      +1

      ‘scuse…rage induced typo…I meant…Those fu*King pants! The rage took over.

      • Stefanie
        0

        lol. I was like “The hat? That’s the least offensive part of this entire mess…”

    • Gine
      0

      I know. I can’t think about it it too hard or I get stabby.

  7. Clarence Beeks
    0

    I so want to punch him in the face. These clothes!!! He is going to CRINGE at these photos when he is in his 30′s.

  8. Laucie
    0

    What everyone said, although you did encapsulate all our rage with “Enough Already.” What an infuriating little twerp !

  9. Carolina Girl
    0

    Justin Bieber: Where Bad Trends Go To Die

  10. Sandra
    0

    Dear Justin,

    Upside-down turtlenecks with your legs jammed into the sleeves are also NOT PANTS. Don’t make FugNation do an intervention, sonny. You’ll be scarred for life.

    • anonymoose
      0

      Sandra, THANK YOU for the huge laugh! I wish you (&FugGirls)were on Fashion Police. Then I would watch it because it would be spot on and FUNNY.

  11. Sam
    0

    What I want to know is what would happen if he had to make a run for it for some reason? Isn’t this a little like pantsing oneself?

  12. Stefanie
    0

    You know, some of his newer songs I like but I will never take him seriously as an artist until he stops dressing like a giant blind douche bag.

  13. Stefanie
    0

    One more thought: Clearly he’s getting a little older, shouldnt he WANT to seem more grown up? Shouldn’t he want to look more than 4’8?

  14. junaitatres
    0

    OH COME ON. No one makes me feel 100 years old the way this kid does.

  15. TaraMisu
    0

    Hahahaha I watched Mean Girls on my flight home from HK…… I love that movie!

    Beebs needs to go in the same direction as the Kardouchians.

  16. Joan
    0

    You know I just can’t with this pisher – this is just so stupid. And Stephanie – I disagree, that hat is the second most offensive thing about this mess.

  17. Karen
    0

    Sweet Jeebus, even the tweens laugh at this. Where to start? On second thought, I just can’t.

  18. Alma
    0

    This just gives me a headache.

  19. CJ
    0

    I’m getting a court jester vibe here. Shouldn’t he be doing a little jig while juggling balls and singing in those pants.

    • pinkcheese
      0

      And there is indeed plenty of room in those pants to juggle said balls.

      I’m so, so, SO very sorry. I…I just couldn’t help myself. I’ll see myself out now.

      • glee
        0

        Don’t leave on our account! It looks like there is plenty of room for pinkcheese in there as well!

        • ChristieLea
          0

          Off with his head.

          Oh, for… I just realized the double entendre there. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

  20. Carla in Kentucky
    0

    This looks like what the members of the Lollypop Guild would wear in a 1990s-era stage version of “The Wizard of Oz.”

  21. Kat
    0

    Why can’t he just go play in traffic?

  22. Fifie
    0

    He makes me so embarrassed to be Canadian.

    • schadenfreudelicious
      0

      ditto, we used to just have to contend with Avril, Celine and Nickelback..but the Biebs has moved to the top of the proverbial heap….

      • Shannon
        0

        But you guys do have IKEA Monkey, so there is that.

        • SKGD
          0

          I think the Ikea monkey looked less perplexed. And, from what I hear, was better dressed.

  23. Helen
    0

    “STOP TRYING TO MAKE CROTCH HAPPEN. IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.”

    Perfection! I have nothing to add, I just couldn’t resist repeating it.

    • mary lou bethune
      0

      “There is no there there”…. and that vacant look that he always has on that vapid face. I am affronted…..

  24. Bea
    0

    You know what kids look like when they put on their mom’s clothes, jewelry and make up? This reminds me of this. Without the cuteness factor.

  25. Lily
    0

    Looks like someone needs his diaper changed.

    Has a guy ever won Fug Madness? Because this child is definitely at the top of the leaderboard.

  26. JC
    0

    Don’t you guys think he’s just screwing with everyone now? Just to see what he can get away with?

    Not that that’s any excuse for doing things that are dumb, in general…

  27. alannaofdoom
    0

    Thought you were going for, “His hat is full of secrets.” Until I scrolled down.

  28. Dazie
    0
    • glee
      0

      OMG, Skants are amazing. I am so trying a few pairs on now.

      • Helen
        0

        Haha, I know! I’m thinking, what do I have in my closet that I won’t mind stretching out

  29. deee
    0

    Definite fug madness entry.

  30. Rayna
    0

    “Can’t touch this.”

    As if anyone would want to.

  31. smj
    0

    Worst. Pants. Ever.
    They make me miss Hammer pants.

  32. Ranee Singleton
    0

    One would think that a young man trying to be manly would refrain from wearing anything that resembles a giant diaper.

  33. annmartina
    0

    Is he regressing in age?

  34. superjosh
    0

    did someone say upside-down turtleneck pants?? I present Anthony Greenfield to you all. This is what a man looks like, foul Bieber.

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwdt3gysfG1qzb7ieo1_500.jpg

  35. Bella
    0

    At the risk of repeating myself for the millionth time, he is just creepy.

    • steen
      0

      I totally agree. Poor twelve year girls of today-THIS is their Marky Mark? their Andy Gibb? their Michael Jackson? I feel so sad for the youth of today.

      • Heather
        0

        I agree. I had the Duran Duran guys (John! Simon!) who were both REAL men and HOT.

  36. strah
    0

    Here’s a thought… does he PURCHASE those “pants” somewhere? Does he have a tailor custom make each ridiculous pair?
    Either way, there are other participants involved, someone is facilitating the creation of those things. They are awful.

  37. Aphy
    0

    I do not get any of this. It looks like he crapped his pants and the pants make his legs look like they are five inches long. How in the world does he think this is swoon worthy?

    So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.

  38. amys
    0

    I hate to be mean to children BUT. He is such an asshole.

  39. ceecee
    0

    Any right-minded middle school student is this country would stuff this twerp into a locker.

  40. Sylvia
    0

    DEAR. GOD.

  41. Anita
    0

    The stupid look on is face was enough without the added horror of the outfit.

  42. Pam
    0

    This is why animals kill their young.

  43. Morgan R.
    0

    Just a friendly reminder that someone has probably had sex with him. And lots more people want to. Just in case you weren’t feeling terrible enough.

    • Heather
      0

      Oooohhh that is scary. And i would actually beg to differ… he strikes me as blatantly asexual, and I’m not sure his fan base (11-year-old girls) quite understand what ‘sex’ is (i mean, i know i had ‘feelings’ at that age but didn’t know how to identify them).

  44. chickie
    0

    When he wears his hat like that it makes it look like his head is hugely tall/long. When is he going away? I feel like I’m old when I say that. I just don’t get him.

  45. Ellyn
    0

    Too much time spent with Angel models is making him look anorexic!

  46. 1000Oysters
    0

    I’m sorry- I can’t even get mad at this. I keep scrolling back up and giggling uncontrollably. He thinks he looks so cool!

  47. TonyG
    0

    This is trying way too hard to get a look that he will never (NEH-VAH!) be able to execute.

    Love the yellow kicks though. Paired with some black jeans (that fit) and a not-trying-too hard top, like a simple turtle neck, this would have been sane.

  48. Chrissy
    0

    He’s hoping to win fug madness this year.

  49. SKGD
    0

    Please someone dress him up in an elf costume and ship him to the North Pole. Or better yet, the South Pole, it’s further away from Canada.

  50. Carrie Thompson
    0

    He has to be almost over, right? I seriously have never felt this much animosity towards someone I don’t know, much less a teenaged boy from Canada. I soothe myself by remembering that as New Kids on the Block, The Backstreet Boys, n’Sync, Jonas Brothers and countless others went, so too shall this little twerp.

    • Randi
      +1

      Oh, no, my dear. He’s far from over, unfortunately. Hang out with any group of 11 year olds anywhere and you will discover he’s still got traction.

  51. Carrie Thompson
    0

    Also, remember when Justin wore that denim suit and Britney wore a matching denim dress? That has nothing to do with Bieber, but all these years later that picture still makes me laugh…I’d say that this is Bieber’s denim suit, but let’s get real. He’s going to wear far more offensive things than this ensemble.

    • ChristieLea
      0

      At least Timberlake’s Texas Tuxedo flattered his form. NOT LIKE THIS.

  52. Sajorina
    0

    I am OFFICIALLY DISGUSTED!

  53. Sara
    0

    How could something that looked so good on Hammer, look so bad on Bieber?

  54. Randi
    0

    You have to love the irony that is the Beebs – here he is trying to be oh so cool and Mr. Funkmeister – emulating the brothers over in gansta rap, and it couldn’t be expressed in a whiter, skinnier, shorter, more gangly physical body. It’s as though Goddess decided one day to create the ultimate idiot just to show us she’s got a sense of humor about teen fads (as if we needed reminding:) )
    AND BTW: the Beebster is NOT anywhere near over. My 11 year old snarkily reports to me daily on her classmates who pretty much live off the fumes they breathe when his name is screeched by the other little girls in love with him. They are all waiting for their phones to ring, sure that he will call them up to marry them now that Selena is ancient history. I have to admit, I feel right proud as a mama when I hear my child snort her derision at this fool. Trouble is, who IS an acceptable school girl crush these days??? The rest are FRIGHTENING to comtemplate.

    • Helen
      0

      Heck, Randi, I’m proud by proxy, and we haven’t even met. You have one cool kid!

      And yeah, there’s a weird dearth of cute teen idols at present. Where’d they all go? There seemed to be plenty in the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, then… they just kinda…dried up.

  55. Ladyblahblah
    0

    I think she’s very brave to do what she’s doing, and all of you should be ashamed of making fun of this young…

    (What? That’s a boy? Are you SURE? Really? Well OK, I guess Disney wouldn’t have chosen to put one of their pop princesses in a same sex celebrity relationship, so OK.)

    Never mind.

  56. Amanda
    0

    He needs to do this in his next music video. http://ipreferyoucallmedoctor.tumblr.com/post/29572159827/study-break

  57. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    What is with these poo catchers? They just look soooooooo stupid.

  58. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    And this has just given me a new idea to put to our Christmas Party committee for costume ideas. Imagine- a room full of multi-aged Biebsters. Hilarious!

  59. sism
    0

    Hey, found your site by accident doing a search on Google but I’ll definitely be coming back. – I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. – Mark Twain 1835 – 1910

  60. Kathryn
    0

    So, the other day I saw an ad for ‘picnic pants’. Walk around with the crotch of your pants hanging to your knees, looking like an idiot, but when sit down and cross your legs, it turns into a little fabric table, to rest your plate. Of course, you still look like an idiot…

  61. Emma
    0

    I’m pretty sure that’s not even Justin Bieber. When he can’t be bothered making an appearance, his PA’s just grab the nearest 12 year old girl, throw the Bieber uniform on her and shunt her on to the red carpet for a few photos. That’s why he looks like a deer in headlights here. A deer in headlights, an oversized trucker cap, a gold necklace and built-in-diaper pants.

  62. Edelen
    0

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  63. Esme
    0

    Oh please, somebody put him out of my misery.

  64. Best Friends In Winter - North Face Outwear
    0

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  65. SharonCville
    0

    I’m sorry, but that boy needs to strip down to his skivvies and start over, and I don’t mean that in a weird ephebophile way (look it up). Hat, sunglasses, shirt(s), RIDICULOUS STUPID EXCUSE FOR PANTS, shoes– all need a redo.

  66. luxsword
    0

    He looks like a parody of himself. Pathetic.

  67. mrbruno
    0

    Does his diaper need changing? It looks like he is carrying a load in his pants!

  68. outlet
    0

    different daily. I like your blog. Will be back really soon!January